Archive for cute kitten pictures

Bramble On- post Feasterbunny Day

Posted in anxiety disorders, depression with tags , , , , , , , , on April 22, 2019 by morgueticiaatoms

This is gonna knock your underwear right off but…WE HAD A WONDERFUL, HAPPY EASTER HOLIDAY ON BOTH FAMILY FACTIONS.

And my mood was good.

The anxiety was off the bloody charts cos 20 people, five stops, two meals, then packing in all the stuff they got my kid, then more visits from more family…I was ready to choke a bitch. Really. And my kid was in rapid machine gun fire mode despite not having had much candy. But that rat a tat a tat a tat, just endless sound of machine gun fire, that is what she is like when she gets to talking. And I begged her over and over for just five minutes of peace…She made it 75 seconds and was right back to firing away. At that point, I had worn out my smiling muscles, my patience was MIA, and I needed a fricking tractor tire sized Xanax salt lick.

But you know what? It was a Happy Easter. A good holiday in this family with no drama, man, that’s golden.
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Some pics from yesterday to share…

Those are our kittens Slipknot and Mudvayne.
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We went for a walk the other day…

half mile there, half mile back. I am busting my butt trying to make up for her sperm donor being such an utterly monstrous, useless clownfuck by being super duper mommy.

I failed on the Easter egg hunt, then my sister didn’t have one cos she knew I always do, so now this week when Spook is at school… I am gonna hang some eggs from the tree out front with pennies and candy inside.

If your dad is shit, but your mom is kickass, well, hopefully it has a tiny bit of balance for her.
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Speaking of icky dads…

His sister tried to hug him yesterday and he shooed her off like she was a bug, it hurt her feelings.
When we were leaving, she wanted to hug me and made a comment that I seemed scared of her, like cancer was contagious. I just told her ya know, we didn’t get many hugs as kids, from our mom or our dad, it was always them saying “what do you want?”

She understood that cos her and my dad’s parents were anti affectionate jackasses so instead of being offending her, she suddenly ‘got it’. This is why I go out of my way to hug and smooch and snuggle buggle my daughter. I don’t want her growing up all weird and thinking hugs are some sort of contagion.
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I felt truly…

blessed and grateful yesterday, even while my brother groused and my kid whined about leaving to go get more toys from grandma’s. So many people out there have to be alone on holidays and many don’t even have a decent meal. So in spite of my depressive and anxious griping, I am well aware how lucky Spook and I are to have what we do have.

If I have to own a pricey Apple product and thousands dollars worth of stereo in my car to be considered cool, I’m okay the way things are now. This isn’t paradise, but when I think of how many lonely people are out there with no family, no friends, no food…

Fuck Apple and stereos. We’ve got it pretty good and we damn well know without our friends on wordpress, we wouldn’t be in such a good spot so…

((((((Readers))))) Cyber hugs of gratitude for all.
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I must be bloody well cured…

I dyed my hair yesterday, I bathed today. Could it be that I am cured? Or MAYBE IT IS THE SEASONAL DEPRESSION LIFTING AS THE WEATHER IMPROVES AND IT AIN’T ALL ABOUT THE SUNLIGHT????

Psych professionals really suck at thinking outside the DSM or the box.
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Mute buttons…

need to be installable for kids and cats and dogs.
Noise just does me in, it’s got nothing to do with tolerance or love. I just have a noise sensitivity.
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I was informed, after taking pride…

in my uber functionality yesterday without a mega meltdown, that I had nothing to be proud of because I hadn’t even done a third of whate every other person does every single day.

THAT IS WHY I AM CONSIDERED DISABLED. Because I can’t function at that ‘normal’ level so when I do function highly, even if it doesn’t meet others’ standards, I still take pride in toughing it out.

Fuck you if you don’t like it.
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I was informed yesterday…

one of my mom’s guest doesn’t like swear words. But no one told me til after she left and by then I could have destroyed a country with F bombs and such.

I don’t mean to offend but this is who I am. Least I’m not a racist homophobic xenophobic pro life psycho. Though I bet I’d be more accepted if I were and…

Man somewhere our forefathers are waving an angry fist at what this country has become.
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Am I getting political?

My bad.
My kid is telling me who I ‘must’ vote for next year. She doesn’t know the name but it’s a woman with long dark hair and she had on something pretty and red.
Kids crack me up.
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Except…

my sister got her some brown poo slime and now the joke is wearing on my nerves. Realistic is always a good thing, especially when a kid is handling it at the dinner table. EWWWWW
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Blasts from the last couple of days past on the random blog…

Easter Day

Monday after Easter

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Habitat For Inhumanity

Posted in anxiety disorders, cat and kitten pictures, depression with tags , , , , , , , on April 6, 2019 by morgueticiaatoms

For the first time in 2 weeks, I bathed today. Shaved, shampooed, washed, scented, clean clothes. I was freezing and it did not lead to the ‘feel good’ signs the psych professionals say it will…But it’s done and my scalp no longer feels like it’s wearing a deep fryer.

I got an email informing me today that I was ‘not qualified’ for two posted jobs. I kinda call bullshit on needing a degree to teach English as a second language to non native English speakers on line. For $22 an hour working from home, I will study endlessly and research lesson plans and just…ANYTHING THAT KEEPS ME FROM REPEATED FAILURE AT TRYING TO COMFORM WHEN MY BRAIN SIMPLY CANNOT PERFORM THE ACCEPTABLE WAY.

Our other preggo cat gifted us with 5 more kittens today. I seem to have been assigned midwife and nursery duties by the mama cats as they insisted on having them, and keeping them, near me, in my room, and on my bed.

Heartbreaking thing is, these are not great cat moms. A few weeks in they run low on milk and lose interest in the babies and we can’t afford the kitten formula even if we are willing to hand feed them with bottles. The beauty of birth gets trampled by harsh reality and I’ve told every family member and friend the issue and they ‘can’t help’. But they can go eat out a steakhouse, buy new tires for the car, pay to fix up their bathroom, buy pricier clothing…

I may have complexes and low self esteem but I think my entire family is telling me how they feel about me and what they think of our unexpected kittens. We had every intention of getting them fix…Until the donor got over $4500 behind in child support. He gets to keep whatever income he has. live off whover’s name is on the bill, fail to comply with the court order to always inform them of address and employment changes…He is not compliant on one single factor. But they just let him skate and my daughter not only does without extras like basketball or cheerleading or science camp, she also gets a bunch of cruel classmates asking her why she doesn’t have a dad.

It’s been that way for 8 years. Before now, it has never really made me feel this lousy. But in rural country where ‘divorce’ is uttered as often as ‘rock n roll'(Like, never.) …No way this place could ever understand.

I think I missed a call earlier from The Woman Hating Lawyer From Hell. I haven’t worked up the nerve to even check messages. That man is so incompetent, there is never any good news. EVER. Now he is likely saying got the donor to sign off and I have to start letting him see Spook even though he is $4500 behind on child support and main reason for all our financial ills. I am just not in strong enough mental space tonight.

Hey, ILLINOIS LEGAL SYSTEM?????!!!!!

Where is your and the judge’s logic in not pursuing a chronic deadbeat, not holding him accountable for abandoning her when she was 2 wuthout even a kiss, and 8 years later he has shown zero interest in her well being at all? Why are his rights protected more than a 9 year old child’s right to have both parents supporting them, taking responsibility and loving them? I wonder at times if it’s the misogynistic ‘good ole boys’ network at play, comprised of a bunch of men in the legal profession who got screwed in their custody/divorce settlement so now they may represent the women but go out of their way to make sure the man comes pout ahead and the kid (s) get nothing.

Two week old toddle-bot kittens.

Same kittens at 3 weeks.

Mama and toddlebots.

And that is Hex with her little Hexlings, around 3 years old as of today.

I am totally spazzing out over the bills I can’t pay and will result in our water and power being turned off. My daughter keeps pushing me to have a fundraiser because we truly do need the help and we simply cannot abandon our kitty babies. I just…know how dejected I feel when a campaign fails to even get a single dollar donation in a month. I accept it, but I simply can’t bring myself to force her to accept it. She believes in the best in people and I won’t rob her of that.

Really though…if you call yourself a cat lover and know that all these kittens we have between the two mamas and yet the mamas can’t produce enough milk to keep them alive…if we are willing to receive a simple kitten bottle and formula directly as opposed to asking for cash…We are the real deal.

Why Some Have Fundraisers? Because you can’t put a gun to someone’s head to hire you!

Posted in depression, fundraiser with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 9, 2018 by morgueticiaatoms

I was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about all the scammers out there ripping people off and it turned my stomach. But that was going on long before there ever was an internet,sadly. It is a vile aspect of human nature that many have no conscience and will take the last dime from an elderly woman or a morsel of cookie from the mouth of a toddler. Because of assholes like that, the people like me and Spook who are only asking for help because the law favors deadbeats who don’t pay their court ordered child support, are the ones who get ignored and left to lose what little we have and go hungry.

It’s not a sob story. It’s our life. And while I get people’s reticence to donate because it ‘could be’ some elaborate scheme…I really wish I could give you all a look into our living situation. We live in a house so old, it has skeleton keyholes on the door lock and one electric out in the living room and bedrooms. The carpet is comprised of cheap remnant squares so when I vacuum I end up having to put them back into place. We have a bathtub with a sink faucet so we can’t even attach a shower sprayer. We drive a 2001 car that cost $450 at an auction my dad got it from. This laptop I am writing on this moment? It was a freebie someone left behind at the shop when I was being R’s marionette and my nephew got it working for me. Both of our LCD tvs? Bought used for $110 total a couple years back.

And don’t get me wrong, we are happy to have as much as we do cos it’s more than many have, but it kind of says that we’re not lap of luxury scammer types. I have no intention of letting the donor get out of paying support but the law is on his side in how much time he has to find a job, how long before he has to start paying, and with holidays and winter heat bills coming…I’m terrified. The only thing I have been able to take pride in is that since he walked out 7 years ago, I’ve kept a roof over my kid’s head and the power on. And I did it mostly without ever having to have a fundraiser unless it was unexpected thing like car breakdown, cat illness, or bug infestation.

When we were forced to move, though, we picked up expenses we didn’t have in the trailer park. Water and sewer and trash, which sucks up what little cushion I had without child support. Not to mention gas because now it’s a 20 miles trip to town and back for appointments and grocieres. I purposely stayed in that nasty trailer park where the furnace was broken more than it worked because I knew if the donor ditched out on paying, I could manage the monthly bills, just barely. This move was not our idea, and a raise in expenses was not what we wanted. Originally the place we found was $50 less in rent so I’d have been able to swing it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until moving day that we learned the elderly landlord had already rented that place to someone else cos he forgot he rented it to us and we got stuck with, yes a bigger place and house, no less, but higher rent and expenses. Believe me, this was not what I wanted, it was just necessity.

Since the move, I have tried to offer up my services as a babysitter, dogwalker, someone to clean house or run errands. I tried the rural gas stations. The only reason I could get pet supplies is that my stepmom and my dad let me do some dishes and fill out mileage reports for extra cash but when harvest ends, they won’t have the excess income to do that so it’s not a lock. I even tried submitting for a writing position in a local freebie rag and was rejected. We had a yard sale and made less than $8.

The fact is, YOU CANNOT PUT A GUN TO AN EMPLOYER’S HEAD AND SAY, ‘I WANT TO WORK, HIRE ME NOW!’

That has always been the infuriating thing for me, especially in a rural area where jobs are scarce. If there are 2 positions open and 300 people apply…it’s a safe bet the disabled person with an unstable work history is not going to be in demand. And since we moved to Armpit, the fact is, this is a closeknit country community and Spook and I are outsiders. I think you have to be a natural born redneck and live here ten years before they start viewing you as anything else. And because of my anxiety and mood issues, any work I do first will need the doctor to sign off so I need something off the books cos ain’t no way the doctors-any of them- will guarantee my stability since I’ve had such a bad year with medication and stuff.

So, oh wise ‘get a job’ people…Please do tell me the magic secret.

Or…be a decent human being and just visit the campaign, read our story, click the share button. Donate $5. Don’t want to do cash? Drop me a message and ask what we need, you can have it sent to directly to us unless of course, you think cat food and toilet paper and dish soap are items that make us scammers.

I have nothing to offer right now but words and the fact this blog has been here 7 years and the story never changes because the truth never changes.

On second thought…how about pics of our adorable kittens if for no other reason than the cuteness makes you go awwwwwww. Kitten pics are a popular thing, right?


That is Spook with Pandora.


Spook with Enderman (she named it, some Minecraft thing.)


This is Heathen.


And this is Lacuna.

We took in the mama cat, Tabbytha, after her owner left her outdoors in 95 degree heat for over a week without food or water. My sister rescued pregnant Tabby and tried to place her elsewhere but even the no kill shelter was full. I didn’t have the heart to let her go to the pound so Spook and I took her in and 3 days later she had those adorable babes.

Taking in pregnant cats doesn’t sound like something a heartless scammer would do, does it?

Oh, damn. I just realized- I was in a psych ward so by state law I can never legally own a gun therefore…I can’t hold a gun to an employer’s head.

C’mon, guys. I am TRYING.

Everything I do is for my kid and cats.

I’m batty for them.

A Bouquet Of Kittens-ADORABLE 3 WEEK OLD KITTENS

Posted in cat and kitten pictures, depression with tags , , , , , , , on October 3, 2018 by morgueticiaatoms

The kittens are almost 3 weeks old and plump as Butterball turkeys. Tabbytha is a great mama.

Soon, she will start trying to wean them and honestly in our current situation…this fundraiser needs to gain momentum, in exposure, shares, donations. I’m gonna have a kid and 4 kittens having a throwdown over who gets to has a cheezburger.

Just read our story before writing us off as another internet scam.

I may use humor and cutesy kid and cat pics but fact is, I am terrified that I am going to fail them because someone else did us wrong. Asking for help is difficult but random acts of kindness make it easy to be grateful even when pride has to be put aside.

My kid and kitties make me happy as they fill me with so much love. It kills me to think that I am failing them in any way when none of this was in my control. So consider a kind gesture like clicking share. Such a simple thing to do and yet so very valuable to those in need.