Archive for the Wednesday Thoughts Category

Wednesday Thoughts, Bitchcraft Edition

Posted in pop culture, Wednesday Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on May 8, 2019 by morgueticiaatoms

Bad Blonde Joke…
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” she cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. “Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake.”
Lame but a lil funny
Q: How Do Crazy People Get Through The Forest?

A: They Take The Psycho Path.
Gator in your pants HUH? Bizarro
Is That a Gator In Your Yoga Pants, Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
When a Florida deputy asked a woman if she had anything else on her during a routine traffic stop, he wasn’t expecting what she did next. She “proceeded to pull an alligator out of her yoga pants (about one foot in length) and placed it into the bed of the truck,” the Charlotte County Sheriff’s deputy said in an incident report. The driver, Michael Clemons, 22, told deputies he and his passenger, Ariel Machan-Le Quire, 25, were trying to collect frogs and snakes from under an overpass. The deputy then asked permission to search the bags in the truck to make sure “they did not collect any wildlife they were not supposed to have,” the deputy wrote in the report. “Ariel opened the backpack that was on the passenger’s floorboard that revealed 41 small turtles,” the deputy wrote in the report. Then she pulled the alligator from her pants.
Trump Taxes…
There was a story on the news this morning showing old interviews when Don the Con was just that as opposed to a presidential con artist. He was so egomaniacal and arrogant even 20 years ago, talking about how everything he touches turns to gold.
Hmm, the tax info being disseminated right now (old stuff, not the more current info being sought) says everything he touches is a scam and he loses money and often, it’s other peoples’ money he lost.
Stay Classy, Cheetoh hued dumpster fire, keep telling your version of the truth.

NYT Obtained 10 Years of Trump’s Tax Returns — Which Document Potential Fraud and Exactly How Awful He Is With Money

He is however…
more popular with a high approval rate than EVER before. Pundits are saying it’s the booming economy. Which has not reached the small towns yet. And oh, the whole Tariff thing with China has the market having more ups and downs than my bipolar ass. But yeah, all is awesome, let’s keep the psycho in chief in office even longer cos the suicide rate is still too low…FTW.
Inane but irksome…
Women who spell the name MEGAN Meg-han. Just stupid.
Yeah, Duchess Meg-han,
and Ms McCain, I am talking about you guys.
Ranks right up there with spelling Shawn S-e-a-n. Which I don’d find irksome or offensive, just confusing and a sign of how fucked up the English language is.
I won’t even get started on the nutsy kookooness of Siobhan being pronounce Shi-von.
Ugh, just…why???
three eyed snake found in Australia. Poor baby.
Bigoted narrow minded judgey Murica…
If I paid 4 mill for a home, I’d expect I have the right to turn my lawn into a tent city for the homeless’s pets while the people come inside. Wealthy fussy people need to fuck off.
Just to be clear..
I let my kid go to church. I was not fond of her previous church when they had the congregation all praying during 2016 election week for Hillary and Trump cos that whole church and state separation thing.
Now they passed this shit allowing religious lessons in public schools.
That will be the day I pull my kid out of school and teach her from home. I just think, as the parent, it should be my choice and mine alone, whether my kid learns religion related things, the state…should fuck off.

Bill allowing public schools to teach ‘Biblical content’ to understand ‘public policy’ becomes law

Two extra years of mental hellth????

Experts warn Trump call for a two-year extension of his term should not be ignored — even if it’s idiotic

Fucking Mueller did this to us. Or maybe it was the Barr coverup. All I know is, if this idget isn’t tossed onto the lawn and kicked down Pennsylvania Ave come next election, my kid and I are going to look into moving to Canada. Not cos they have it so great there but because their booze has a higher alcohol content and they have all those yummy Tim Horton donuts so I could drown my sorrows pretty well there…
I’d like…
to smack this dude with a shovel. Stereotyping people this way is harmful. Those of us with anxiety and panic disorders use mindfulness 24-7 but since it doesn’t ward off the physical aspects like sweating, hyperventilating, feeling dizzy, frightened, and paranoid, of course, we are always going to look for some sort of holistic or medication based relief. Just because I take meds to ease the worst of the physical symptoms absolutely has no bearing on me using dozens of stress management and coping methods learned in 30 years of therapy.
To go off on CBD the way he has tells me he has some issues of his own and he wants everyone to handle their stress his way and his way only.

CBD Will Replace Mindfulness

How to cope with strong emotions…
Some valid points here, if you can focus long enough to get through them. I made it through the first one, which is writing and allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling. That’s been the one that has helped me the most during my life.
Having said that it worked for me, though, does not mean I believe it is the end all be all cure for everyone. We’re all different but the article gives you some food for thought, so to speak, if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by emotion.
Mom mom mum ma mom mom
My kid is shit out of luck…
talkative parents can lead to a child having a higher IQ.
I write constantly but when it comes to verbalizing aloud and participating with others in the socialization thing, I’m pretty quiet. Guess she will just have to cope with being smart as opposed to being a genius.
Mensa would bore her, anyway.
Mental illness deniers…
are a dangerous bunch and they do not mean well.
Wtf is with…
the royals sticking babies with horrid names? The new one is called Archie. Sounds like a 90 year old man. Poor kid.
Riddle me this…
If a report completely exonerates you of wrong doing…why would keep it under wraps claiming executive privilege? Now that is just some fishy, hinky behavior there, Mr. President.
Racists and bigotry sicken me…

US State Dept. Goes to Court Again to Try to Tear Apart This Married Same-Sex Couple’s Twins

So much for ‘families’ being what’s important in this country. Apparently it’s okay to break up a home if it’s not cookie cutter white and hetero.
Vulgar Abuse of Power….
Cops scare people and this is why.
Not border patrol, bigot patrol…
Good on these kids for taking a stand for their friend.
Those funny as hell gentlemen of latenight TV
“A man in Oregon walked away with minor injuries after he fell asleep in a dumpster and ended up in a trash compacter. It raises a lot of questions, and the answer to all of them is tequila.” -Jimmy Fallon


“Expedia released their rankings of the most annoying drivers in America. For the 15th year in a row, the most annoying driver on the road is every driver but you. The survey says the least popular passengers are backseat drivers. I would have said carjackers.” -Jimmy Kimmel
Not just a bad joke, pure cheddar
Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, “Don’t mind us, we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please.”

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. “Been on holiday, lads?”

“Off to England next month,” says John. “We go to England every year, hire a car, and drive for miles, don’t we, Jim?” Jim agrees.

“Ah, England!” says the bartender. “Wonderful Country…the history, the beer, the culture…”

“Nah, we don’t like that British crap,” says John. “Hamburgers and Molson’s beer, that’s us, eh, Jim? And we can’t stand the English; they’re so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians.”

“So why keep going to England?” asks the bartender.

“It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive.”
No skirt, no world record…
Ahh, welcome to 1819.
Old Town Road…
done by a third grade class who’s just having fun, not having litters of kittens over what genre the song is.
Yay, kids.
Interesting change in job description, TSA…
Groping people in the naughty bits is NOT security nor is it your job. And how dare you offend Ms Diana Ross? Y’all aren’t fit to spit shine her high heels, let alone grope her lady parts.
oh now this just makes calistenics look awwwwww

Met gala photos

The human chandelier was definitely my favorite costume.
A teacher…
made a translation dictionary for those of us over age 16 so now we can understand what kids are saying these days.
If they call you a snack, you should totally gush with giddiness cos it’s a good thing.