Archive for the Uncategorized Category

Mental Chaos, Take Two

Posted in anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on January 16, 2020 by morgueticiaatoms

For the first time in 8 years, I updated my introductory page to be more current.Spook was two when I started this blog and now she is ten so it seemed an update was needed. Check it out if you get a sec.


And also…check out my newbie ‘donate $3 if you like my writing and buy me a Dr. Pepper” site. Most people use coffee but since I bloody hate coffee…Gimme soda instead. I’m not picky, either. I love vanilla Pepsi, orange vanilla Coke, and the occasional Mountain Dew.


ko-fi lip promo


It is bare bones right now but I will be building it up over time as well as attempting to lead people back to my primary blog because honestly, they have too many rules about being offensive and censorship sucks. If nothing else, click follow so I can at least feel warm and fuzzy for ten seconds.



Be the kind of person…

Posted in Uncategorized on January 9, 2020 by morgueticiaatoms

Yes. THIS.

Therapy Bits

Be the kind of person who isn’t afraid to ask someone if they are okay twice if they say they are but look like they aren’t. Be the kind of person who smiles at people even if they don’t smile back. Be the kind of person you wished for when no one was there for you. Be the kind of person who is brave enough to stand alone in a crowd for what is right. Be that person because we need more people like that in the world. Be that person because people like that are rarer than the rarest diamonds and gold.
Nikita Gill

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Posted in Uncategorized on January 8, 2020 by morgueticiaatoms

All I have ever wanted my entire life is to know I am not alone….

Therapy Bits

When someone is broken, don’t try to fix them. (You can’t). When someone is hurting, don’t attempt to take away their pain. (You can’t). Instead, love them by walking beside them in the hurt. (You can). Because sometimes what people need is simply to know they aren’t alone.

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Babylon: Weed, Cars, And Harsh Opinions

Posted in Uncategorized on January 4, 2020 by morgueticiaatoms

Beautifully Random Stuff

Snakes on a, in the oven? Poor snakey.
I love llamas. My grandpa had a pet llama and the nasty thing kept spitting on me. But I still think they are adorbs. I mean, people have spit on me before so I can’t really expect civility from a llama if humans can’t manage it.
Quiz time!
The US Army has banned soldiers from using which popular app on government-owned phones?
A. Snapchat
B. Facebook
C. TikTok
D. Netflix

And the answer is…TikTok. Government thinks the Chinese are spying on our military via the app they made.
Told my kid she is lucky we’re not military, she loves TikTok. Honestly, I don’t get most of them, they just seem…stupid.
$3.2 million

That’s how much Illinois made in sales on the very…

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Skulls and Pink Flowers

Posted in Uncategorized on January 2, 2020 by morgueticiaatoms

Take a Ride on My Mood Swing

How much must I love my kid to wear this all of Christmas day and take a pic wearing it? She could have gone with any other flower color but she chose pink to troll me.

I found my dream boots and I want these so bad for my birthday. Sadly they are a little pricy and they only have one pair left in my size and my birthday isn’t til January 22nd so…prolly not gonna get them. But I sooooo want them, like, sooo damned bad. They are everything I’ve wanted in a pair of boots.

I considered just buying them myself when my check comes in IF they are still available and just make up the money with whatever cash I get when my birthday does come around. But my family has been throwing me curveballs left and right so I can’t really count on getting money for…

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Protected: P.L.B.S-Erase My Scars

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on November 24, 2019 by morgueticiaatoms

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Manic Monday, Chapter Two

Posted in bipolar disorder, depression, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 13, 2019 by morgueticiaatoms


Bedtime at 11 ish. Up at 1 a.m. Awake til 4:45 a.m. Up with alarm before 7 a.m. This has become my new despised normal but this week…it’s not grueling and I am not exhausted because…hypomania. My dad called first thing, then came over to gripe about my yard needing this and that done to it, and I didn’t even get panicked when he decided to come inside and use my bathroom then insult my housekeeping.

I think this is a point most people don’t touch on much. Bipolar people have pretty strong psyches. It’s not like we’re shrinking violets who submit because someone says we have to and we don’t want to displease them. Half the time we are in such a fragile state, we will do whatever it takes to avoid the paranoia and panic attacks that make us feel more vulnerable and weak. But when we are ‘up’, everything changes, right down to, yes, perception of things that usually make us fall apart so fast emotional shrapnel flies. Today I feel strong and solid mentally and so I cope better. I know this is part of the manic depression cycle so it will come and go but I do love when it visits.

It also kept me from throttling him when he started in on my about getting a job at McDonald’s. No, not a job, but  THE SAME SHIFT AND SAME DAYS MY BROTHER WORKS SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO DRIVE HIM AND HE CAN RIDE WITH ME. I told him I want overnights. They only run drive thru after 11 and I think two nights from 8 to 10 pm ish I could deal and Spook would only need a sitter for when she was sleeping. I don’t worry about when I will sleep. I haven’t been working the last 2 and a half years and I still don’t get decent sleep so catnaps work for me. What I do NOT want is working 5,6 days a week for 3 hours a day. With my anxiety, it is best if I go in and get the work week over with so I can breathe and regain equilibrium. I am just so fucking sick of him telling me what to do when I am damn near 50 years old. But I am also feeling pretty shitty cos half the people I know who got jobs ended up getting fired or quitting, and already even with a bad current reference, they are getting hired for new jobs within a couple of weeks and I am getting nothing.

Thing is, even if they hired me tomorrow, it won’t help me right now. The cats are running low on supplies, the water bill is due, the car needs gas…Not like my dad will help me on any of that even if I paint their shed or whatever to earn it. That’s why I post our paypal link, in hopes some kind soul will help out with five or ten buckets to help keep us afloat. I know it annoys people and it makes me look like a money grubber scam artist but I am pretty much an open book. I mean, 9 years of blog archives so my story is consistent. Facts always are. I post my disconnect notices, my account numbers (I was hoping since I did that someone would have helped with Spook;s school pics since they could have just ordered them and not need to give a penny in cash). I am transparent as I can be. (And I also accept directly sent stuff, so I’d suck as a scammer unless cat litter was currency.)

I did this video last night because muggles have asked me what mania is like. Now this was hypomania, not full blown, but same idea. Ten feet tall and bulletproof except with hypomania you’re too scattered to remember where you put your Kevlar so eventually you’ll take a hit and it will likely be mortal to your hypomanic good mood.

And no, I am not giving up, I am gonna keep supporting my kid’s dreams of a vacation and all I beg of you is, just share it on social media. Help this kid get something she wants out of a life.

Mania is wearing off, I am gonna be one tired little ghoul here soon. But the ride was good while it lasted. Think it means my Abilify needs increased, though, dual mood stabilizers usually murder the hypomania if they’re working right.

Have a great Monday. Play me off… (And for the love of pegacorn, could someone do a METAL version of this song THAT DOES NOT SUCK?)