Archive for the Uncategorized Category

On Second Thought…

Posted in Uncategorized on November 22, 2016 by morgueticiaatoms

Dedicated To My Followers And Friends

Posted in Uncategorized on November 4, 2016 by morgueticiaatoms

Yeah, yeah, I am a heavy metal girl.

But the lyrics of the song say more eloquently how I feel for you all than my stunted brain ever could.\

Have  a listen and know…you all are fuckin’ perfect to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58L9zi5DtLo              pink perfect

Picture Perfect 

Posted in Uncategorized on October 4, 2016 by morgueticiaatoms

Thanks to my beloved Bex for posting this.

A Rambling Mind

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An Invitation: JOIN ME on SEPT 10th to Honour Blahpolar’s Death

Posted in Uncategorized on September 6, 2016 by morgueticiaatoms

Hope the pegacorns frolic around you and that you finally find peace. You will be missed, Blah.

Meet and Greet: 9/3/16

Posted in biolar disorder, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on September 4, 2016 by morgueticiaatoms

It’s not about numbers or popularity. Just about sharing our experiences. You never know when *1* post could be exactly what someone needs to read to keep fighting.

Dream Big, Dream Often

DreamBig.PNG

It’s the Meet and Greet weekend!!

Ok so here are the rules:

  1. Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post.
  2. Reblog this post.  It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone!
  3. Edit your reblog post and add tags.
  4. Feel free to leave your link multiple times!  It is okay to update your link for more exposure every day if you want.  It is up to you!

  5. Share this post on social media.  Many of my non-blogger friends love that I put the Meet n Greet on Facebook and Twitter because they find new blogs to follow.

Now that all the rules have been clearly explained get out there and Meet and Greet your tails off!

See ya on Monday!!

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I Interrupt This Mental Health Blog For…a political statement

Posted in mental health, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on August 16, 2016 by morgueticiaatoms

I was wakened this morning by a text from my friend R with what was supposed to be a humorous yet disparaging comment about the recent leak of info that occurred to Nancy Pelosi and other politicians.

Reading what happened with this leak (leaked on a wordpress blog, no less, how soon before the hatemongers and idgets rob us of our safe haven here) made me even less amused with my friend. For months he has clobbered me with his pro-Trump, “Hillary is Satan” views. To the point of calling me a moron, telling me I have my head up my ass, am uninformed, am duped by mass media…

NO.

What I am is a person who does not believe in hate. I don’t believe in spreading it. I don’t believe in fanning the flames. Both sides of this Presidential race have their flaws, their corruptions, their utterly reprehensible behaviors and views…I simply won’t sink to their level and declare all Republicans evil or all democrats the devil. I won’t endorse building a wall to keep out “foreigners” nor will I say I am enthused with how the email scandal with Hillary was handled.

I simply won’t be reduced to a cog in the hate machine.

Me beliefs are what my guide me. I believe in choice. Freedom. The right to stand behind what resonates with me. Until this current election, my differing views have  never caused my friend R to belittle me.

What does that say about the theme of the Republican faction? Filled with so much hate it can turn friend against friend.

I am not calling for anyone to vote either way.

I am imploring that every one make their own educated choices on what to vote for, what to stand for, and please…

DON’T LET IT BE HATRED.

Leaks, privacy invasions, putting at risk undercover operatives, wearing t-shirts with hateful messages, inciting violence…

This is not patriotism. This is not political. This is setting us back as a people to little more than cavemen.

You can believe in something without allowing it to transform you into a hatemongering, cruel husk of a human.

That is all that I will be saying.

Hatred simply is not patriotic no matter what faction is spewing it.

 

The Anxiety Of Being Is Not Benign

Posted in anxiety disorders, Uncategorized with tags , , on August 15, 2016 by morgueticiaatoms

So a relative gave me kid cash for her birthday and it took me several days to work up the gumption to take her shopping. Because, ya know…she only wanted to go to that one hellish place mommy can’t stand. Wal fricking Mart. I figured, early on a Sunday, people would be at a church, not too busy…I was wrong. Even all the self check out things were full. And as we stood in line for her to shell out twenty bucks on these tiny plastic Shopkins…I felt like the walls were closing in. Panic turned to hostility. I muttered, “Next time I come here, remind me to watch an episode of Superstore first so I will be in good humor.”

It boggles the mind because I can handle a mall better than Wal-Mart. We went to Best Buy with Mrs. R last year and I handled it better than I do a super Wal-Mart. I just…When we had the smaller store and it wasn’t six miles out, I would wander the stationery aisles at 3 a.m., talk to the fish in their aquariums, I wasn’t terrified (except on Black Friday and frankly, a sane person should be terrified of any store on that day). 9 years ago we got this relocated superstore and since then…I loathe going there for any reason. I am always looking for logical reasons. Maybe the overhead flourescent lights set me off. Maybe walking too far combines with the panic and I hyperventilate. Or maybe I’m just a nutbar.

Aside from my extreme anxiety, it was a quiet weekend without too much blackened mood. Spook at supper at Bella’s the other night and after a month of hearing about her loose tooth..it finally came out. Eating spaghetti.

toothless spook

So last night to reciprocate, I let Bella eat with us, then took them to the store for candy. (Spook couldn’t wait to spend that tooth fairy money, though she debates whether it was a real dollar since the fairy only had silver coins. Way to teach basic math, school system.)

Today I am just…On edge, waiting for this whole “start of school” thing to get underway. Thursday night we take the supplies in and meet the teacher, see the classroom, et al. I am getting better with that sort of thing. I still get physically ill and sweaty beforehand, but knowing it’s 20 minutes of my life, tops…I power through then spend three days with gastric agony from the anxiety.

And always, when reviewed, the disability people want to know, How does your condition impact your day to day life?

There are times I wish I’d never gotten medicated or had therapy. I was more erratic but I managed to have fun then on occasion. Now…Life feels like existence and survival and fun is just dangerous because it could mean I am going manic or making bad choices…The self doubt all that therapy filled me with is crippling.

At the same time…that version of me would have been mother from hell, so I guess I got to this point because I need to be here. Just kind of bums me out that I am so medicated I can’t feel much of anything positive.

Being so anxious you’re scared to live, scared to trust yourself to live lest it be a symptom of your wonky brain…This state of being is not at all benign. This is malignant.