Archive for the Uncategorized Category

My Email Gifted Me With Something to Make Me Smile

Posted in Uncategorized on November 5, 2018 by morgueticiaatoms

Beautifully Random Stuff

No one comprehends how difficult it is to jet even the tiniest joys out of life when you’re being psychologically eviscerated by depression and a less than optimal living situation. Today, however, just by opening some random thing I subscribed to by email (and I don’t even remember why), I was given a smile, a few laughs, and even a little reason to headbang.

Maybe it’s a parent thing (though I watched Pokemon at 6 a.m. back in 1999 when I had no kids, I just thought they were toooo cuuute!) and it didn’t impress my 9 year old cos she likes mellow music, she said ‘it’s too metal’. Is that even a thing? Oh, right, I really freaked her out when I found a death metal version of the country song she likes “Body Like A Back Road.” I thought it made the song more awesome. I’m metal to…

View original post 104 more words

Advertisements

Single Parenting While Bipolar

Posted in Uncategorized on October 29, 2018 by morgueticiaatoms

Spewage about parenting while under the influence of bipolar disorder.

Theantimommyblog

Life with bipolar disorder is tough enough, even with the so called ‘lesser’ axis 2 diagnosis (cos being depressed 90% of the time isn’t as destructive as being manic 90% of the time). Doing it while being a single parent is even tougher. You get to feel your own feelings, absorb your child’s, and wonder constantly how your disorders have managed to impact your kid negatively or if you’re just a shitty parent.  Worse, the kid comes to believe they can scapegoat their failings on you and your disorders when in fact, they’re unrelated. My kid does this frequently and to be fair, I weigh things heavily on whether I am being irrational, acting on depression or anger, or if she’s truly behaving inappropriately. Thing is, kids aren’t fair so while I am doing my best to find balance, my kid is doing her best to find anything to blame…

View original post 531 more words

Tagless

Posted in Uncategorized on October 29, 2018 by morgueticiaatoms

If you write a blog post but don’t put it in a category with bunches of tags, does it even exist? It’s the tree forest thing. Falling trees make sound even without earwitnesses, blog posts exist without readers. And maybe for this one that is a good thing.

I’m still not sleeping solidly even with Seroquel. Bout the best I can say is what sleep I have been getting has been more restful but also accompanied with an hour long battle to get out of bed in the morning. And while I have a couple of hours feeling rested, by mid afternoon I’m sleepy, and the depression just keeps tugging me downward, and my kid is all drama and demands so I let her spend quite a bit of time at grandpa’s this weekend then feel guilty for taking the break and still not feeling less anxious, less depressed, less tired.

I keep telling myself it will pass, starting new meds always comes with side effects and a change in mental state. All I feel is hopeless. So I tell myself I’ve earned another night of half ass rest and maybe tomorrow will be different but…how can it be if my mental state never is? I am so sick of even the doctors being blinded by minimal functionality. I don’t feel like life is a gift. It’s a chore and I am just waiting to die. And yeah, it sounds fucking warped and ungrateful and I just can’t work up half a fuck…

I don’t like where my mind is right now. I hate being alone with it, yet I can’t share it outside of this blog on line for I might harsh everyone else’s mellow with my ‘silly mood swings’. So I vent on line and look like a perpetual complainer but this is my only outlet.

Only one thing to do when I sink to moods like this. Hole up in Fort Blankie, wait for the pills to kick in, and sleep it off. I’ll rest up and try putting up more of a fight against the depressive inertia tomorrow.
Click here or a pegacorn gets its wings chopped off.

Taglessly yours,

me.

Weekend meet and greet come join me!

Posted in Uncategorized on October 27, 2018 by morgueticiaatoms

When every desire you have says avoid people like the plague…do the opposite cos you’re bipolar and it works that way. Get to meeting and greeting.

Therapy Bits

Hi guys
😀
I thought I’d do a meet and greet this weekend! Come on and join in! You know you wanna!
😀
So the rules, because there’s gotta be some rules, right? But only a few!
1 Put a link to your own blog, or someone else’s on this page
2 Reblog this and like the post.
3 Go visit other blogs that have joined in and show some love!

These are the rules, so simple!
So come on lets get meeting and greeting guys!
😀
Welcome to the weekend! And welcome to Carol anne meet and greet!

The meet and greet will stay open until Monday! So go on, join in! 😛

Virus-free. www.avg.com

View original post

Twitbooking- Daddy Issue Edition

Posted in Uncategorized on October 10, 2018 by morgueticiaatoms

Beautifully Random Stuff

Any time I see a show was directed by Jonathan Frakes. Idk why. I guess I just really liked him on Next Gen and Beyond Belief:Fact or Fiction. Sems like a likeable guy but then again…I thought that about the creature who fathered my child.
I don’t smile when I see his name, I cringe.
This guy makes me smile.

***

More Trek Next Gen, really????

Yes. really. I just wanted to note how much I also like Wil Wheaton as he has done far more than just Next Gen. Him as Sheldon’s foil on Big Bang Theory was hysterical. And Mr. Wheaton has a great sense of humor about his Trek years and doesn’t seem to mind when other shows he appears on stick in some zingers. I respect that dude. He played both sweet space ship youth and obnoxious snot nosed man-child with such aplomb.

One of the…

View original post 2,551 more words

Twitbooking: Random Mental Health Ranting Post

Posted in Uncategorized on October 9, 2018 by morgueticiaatoms

Worth repeating to a different crowd.

Beautifully Random Stuff

11:45 a.m.

I was half walking comatose then took my meds and finally after 2 weeks, watched the first 3 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. Now I am trying to watch the season premier of SWAT but my mind is wandering a little too fast for focus. I hate this lack of focus thing. It is like a runaway train and I can’t seem to throw on the brakes. Like when helping my dad and brother with some paperwork over the weekend to make a couple of bucks to get cat litter…There were 5 people present and dogs and cats and all the activity and noise just made it impossible to feel confident that I did the work properly. Paperwork that is turned into the state for legal purposes isn’t something you want fucked up so I pray I did it right or my dad could be in trouble.
I used…

View original post 1,166 more words

Photoetry Post-Going Under-a poem about depression

Posted in Uncategorized on October 2, 2018 by morgueticiaatoms

Seven years ago. Now I write about leaves changing color. Depression is weird.

Verse from the Crypt

View original post