Facebook+Twitter=Twitbook Blogging Style

Oh, come on, who can’t start their day without a pic of cute kittens???

So, yeah, I am doing my hybrid thing (pegacorn, anyone) and I am going to try (FAIL) to attract attention from the ADHD social media set. I prefer to call these long rambling posts “in the mind of” but hey, clickbait is the thing these days, right? So if I throw in some clicky links (THEY WORK, SEE WHERE THEY TAKE YOU, IT’S FUN!) and buzz terms, I’ll get a million views so I can get two donations to help feed my kid, but hey, maybe I could also pick up some new followers in my quest to raise mental health awareness? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That’s kind of my point in avoiding social media, it is NOT a safe space and it is certainly not safe for those of us with mental health issues unless our goal is to be trolled to the brink of suicide. But what the hell, I haven’t taken my meds yet and I am feeling ornery so….I’ma Twitbook blog this post and since few people read it anyway…I am totally making fun of the negative aspects of social media. Like people posting pics of their food, being idiotic enough to post to a thousand followers ‘out of town for a week, hitting the beaches, have fun stealing my 60 inch plasma and expensive stereo!” And the so many characters per message so if you want to write something not banal and airheaded it takes two dozen bursts of text to make a point by which the ADHD world has moved on to clickbaity things. So social media lovers…

Show me I am wrong. Show me social media can do as much good as it does harm. I dare you.
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Tuesday October 2, 2018

10:47 a.m.
The lawn is mowed. I am sweaty and dirty and grassy but damn it, I got it done and I feel good about that. Especially when my dad went by going to the elevator in his rig and he got to see me mowing without him having to nag me. Though later he will probably come by with a ruler to make sure it’s all uniform length. Seriously, him and stepmonster are so gung ho about lawnwork and lawn mowers and lawns looking cut nicely they make my brother mow their neighbor’s yard-for free-if her and her bf don’t do it in a timely fashion. The fact they stress me out so much I started mowing 1/4 of a football field with a push mower by myself should hint at how toxic, intentional or not, their presence is.

I am amazed I got the jolt of energy to get the stuff done. The wake/sleep cycle kicked my ass. Falling asleep at 5:55 a.m. only to wake to the alarm at 6:30 then snooze until 7:20 and still find it damn near impossible to stay awake in spite of a bursting bladder and a kid to get ready…I guess it’s stress energy from losing the child support income and of course, this utterly pointless yard sale debacle my dad has forced upon me. But lame ass that I am the prospect of him selling a snowblower for $20 and half of that being mine to buy my kid’s food tamed the bitch beast within who wanted to scream fuck off.

Now back to decorating for Halloween. I gotta find Jason Vorhees’ big bloody machete, it’s not near as scary in the window without it but during the move it…migrated. Somewhere. Where’s waldo the machete…

4:16 p.m.
Just a little thing but…my brain never stops its auto response to stuff like “this show was filmed in front of a live studio audience” or “See Goatwhore, LIVE, In concert!” cos…I hate dead audiences and dead bands. Bunch of stiffs. But seriously..every single time I hear ‘live entertainment’ my brain’s dault is to think ‘thank god, those dead people aren’t very entertaining”. Whether I think it or say it aloud inadvertently depends on the level of scumbag brain’s dysfunction at the time.

4:26 p.m.
We were given a few groceries by my sister’s kind friends and some of it was chicken lunch meat. For some reason I am weirded out by chicken that is cold. I mean, I can eat cold chicken legs or strips but…chicken and turkey lunch meat just seem bizarro to me.

4:30 p.m.
Moodsliiiiide. Much like a mudslide. I was all hopped up on the high of getting stuff done earlier and then sloowly the mood started to slide. Partly I blame the interrupted sleep, I am truly tired. And between lowering mood and being tired, the mood sliiiide begins.
I’d be concerned (freaked out) normally but since my prozac dose was raised 20 mg and my sleep is still effed up, it makes perfect sense that my stability of mood is up and down. I could blame going off the lithium but that was almost 3 weeks ago and I wasn’t bobbleheading as much before the prozac increase so it’s likely just a combo of the things I mentioned, and also the weather. It’s 95 today, no wait, it’s 46 overnight, noope back up to 89…Plays hell on my seasonal affective disorder.

4:47 p.m.
I am clock watching, waiting for 7 p.m. which is when Frasier comes on Cozi (with a digital antenna that pulls in 13 channels, you watch you can tolerate and midly enjoy) and signals time for my brain to start winding down.
My brother has been here watching TV with Spook for over an hour and man, is he loud. Bellowing laugh that unnerves me. Boisterous. Guffawing. Unwilling or unable to control the volume of his own voice. I mean, you gotta work hard to be louder than my kid. The added noise kind of triggers my clock watching. Dimming sunlight, Frasier, kid going to bed…That equals calm time. Okay, sort of calm, I stress out a lot over how early to take my sleepy cocktail and fretting over what if I wake up and can’t get back to sleep…
Peace really isn’t something I know well. My brain is like old school Jiffy Pop, exploding the foil with a thousand uncontrollable pop pop pop pop thoughts and I am just living for the moment my Jiffy Pop Brain is removed from the heat and the pop up thoughts stop. Need a pop up blocker for my damn brain.

5:01 p.m.
WHY DO THEY EMAIL ME OFFERS FOR FREE SAMPLES THEN SLAM WITH ME WITH TEN SURVEYS AND I NEVER GET A SAMPLE? Technology, you have failed me on this as I used to request samples by phone and snail mail without any surveys and actually received FREE SAMPLES. And no, is NOT free if I have to pay shipping but hey, nice scam, ass trashers.
Anyone know how to get truly free samples these days? Yeah, we’re that broke that this is a thing.

5:18 p.m.
Why do I love hearing every reference to ‘bouncy house’? I haven’t been in one in 20 years but I do remember they were fun and frustrating.
Maybe it reminds of me of my own mind.

5:37 p.m.
I just went to refill my cup and filled the ice cube trays then went back to my cup…no ice.I SWORE I broke up a tray and put ice in that cup but I guess I only thought about doing it. That’s happening to me a little more often than is comfortable. Could be lack of sleep, could be my disorders, could be the med changes an additions…But as I have Alzaheimers on one side of the family and early onset dementia on the other…It makes me nervous. Worse than the depressions and ups and downs and panic would be losing what minute fraction of my brain actually does work properly enough for me to be, well me, fucked up for better or worse.

5:41
I think the booming voice thing may be genetic cos I just caught myself saying something to my kid way louder than need be. Probably to drown out my brother but still…I have a volume control, need to remember to use it.

5:45 p.m.
“Getting CPR from a cat.”
LOL. No, I literally laughed out loud. It’s always a revelation to find shows that can make me laugh.

8:31 p.m.
Tap out. Took me an hour to get Spook to stay in bed. She had a litany of complaints, all of them blamed on living in Armpit and going to the district’s (only) school where the work is much harder for her…And I grew up in a place worse than Armpit and school was hell for me and my parents never pondered a move because dad liked it there in Hellhole and of course, there was never any money…
While Spook and I are getting along better than we ever have since we moved here cos I’m not battling 7 days a week of 2-7 trailer park kids in my yard…It kills my soul and breaks my heart to see her so unhappy. And know that somehow it’s my fault, even though I didn’t choose for the landlord to sell our old place out from under us, I didn’t anticipate a sudden move within a two week period, and this was the only place we could get without having the entire first month and deposit up front. I’m sorry she dislikes the school. I’m sorry she has fewer friends here and has bullies in her class. I wish I could wave a magic wand and get it all back for us cos this move has been hell on me mentally. I am, however, adapting and with the loss of child support…
I guess I’m just gonna have to get used to a miserable kid it takes an hour to soothe and tuck into bed every night.
It’s fetalize time. Maybe I won’t fall asleep immediately but curling up in bed with my comforter brings me comfort.
Now if my mind would just shut up and give me peace.

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Why Twitter Sucks

Tonight I watched a movie Cure For Wellness. As disgusting as the notion of an oral speculum to forcefeed eels down one’s gullet into their gut…

The thing I watched on Crack’d today disgusted me far more because It is not fiction.

A “tweet” from our Twitter addicted loudmouth president actually posted about some dude “is wearing eyeliner today.” The dude, A, does not in fact wear eyeliner, and B, the dude sewed Trump University and won 25 millions bucks so…

Is it just me thinking our “president” is as immature as a six year old with the name calling, misinformation, and sheer venom against anyone who has not bowed before his self proclaimed awesomeness? HOW DOES THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES HAVE SPARE TIME TO ISSUE SUCH VAPID ‘tWEETS’??????

At the risk of putting my insignificant self on some government watch list for not thinking Trump’s butt spews sunshine and rainbows…Even in my psychologically melee, I still manage to work up rage towards a powerful being who is so goddamn petty. My closest friend calls me ignorant for not bowing down to Mr. Trump.

I am far from ignorant. I have wanted nothing more than for President TRump to prove me wrong in my assessment of him as an egomaniacal arrogant blowhard. I WANT YOU TO PROVE M,E WRONG, SIR!!!

But daily I am assaulted by his infantile activities, his narrow misogynist views…And as open minded and forgiving as I want to be…

I find him vile. Never before has a PRESIDENT OF OUR AMAZING COUNTRY used social media to insult how others look, to disparage those who sued him for wrong doing and won, never ever has a president been allowed to behave so irresponsibly, so amorally, so DISGUSTING.

You ‘normal’ fucks wonder why big pharma is making a gazillion bucks and the shrinks all have foreign vistas…It ain’t just our brain chemicals misfiring.

We have SOULS. We do not dish out insults about one’s appearance or pull sour grapes when someone calls on us our shitty behavior and wins a court case. We do not take to Twitter time after time just to prove how almighty important we are because as God intended…we are humble enough to know that no matter how intelligent, creative, business savvy or wealthy we might become…

It does NOT EVER entitle us to judge others as lesser beings because of their gender, sexual orientation, political association, socio economic niche…

The “imbalanced” know people are to be judged on their merits and their wrong doing. If a court decides you are wrong and awards 25 million…NUT UP AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN INSTEAD OF ATTACKING SOMEONE’S APPEARANCE. If someone offends you…stick to the issue and elaborate, name calling things like “fat” and “pig” make you beneath the presidency. Hell, my 7 year old knows better and she doesn’t even Tweet or have her finger on the nuke button.

And don’t get me started on the impeachable offense of how Mr President Trump’s hotels rake in money from foreign dignataries which could well influence his political decisions EVEN IF the party line is that he signed it all over to family members.

OH AND LET US NOT FORGET HIS WEEKEND TRIPS, BASICALLY EVERY WEEKEND SINCE HE TOOK OFFICE, TO HIS SPOT IN fLORIDA. wHICH BY THE END OF 2017 IS ESTIMATED TO COST 20 MILLION IN TAX PAYER DOLLARS. sO HE CAN GO TO WEEKENDING IN fLORIDA.

How is that not putrid and offensive? He’s not allowed to use his own vast wealthy but why should taxpayers pay for him to play while important programs are cut and his republican army starts repealing basic human rights for anyone not born with a penis?

My friend R says I don’t see the big picture.

Do I think it’s awesome so many American manufacturer have opted to stay in the states instead of hightailing for cheaper labor and parts places?>I am in favor of more jobs, more American made products. Hail to Trump for that much.

At the same time…Many employers are not using social media such as Facebook and Twitter to cope out potential employees who apply. They can use your drunken beach pix from ’02 to deem you unhireable. They can take one sentence uttered in 2008 and call you an undesirable.

YET WE ARE STUCK WITH A PRESIDENT WHO CAN ONLY INSULT PEOPLE BY THEIR LOOKS RATHER THAN FINDING THE TRUE PROBLEM WITH THEIR ACTIONS!!!!!

I am not longer feeling pride in being American. It seems like it is being run by a male Kardashian and if that makes me a bitch for saying so…so be it. Pardon me if my functioning brain finds it offensive that the president has time to Tweet but can’t follow through on half the promises/lies he used to get elected. But then, we didn’t elect him by popular vote, did we. THe powers that be used their “my electoral college thing counts more than your citizen vote”.

So anyway…sorry for a political tired, it is a can of worms I’d rather not open but…Jeebus, seeing those Tweets from THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES insulting someone ON THEIR LOOKS just set me off.

High school never ends, no matter how rich and successful and powerful you get. It makes my soul cry tears of blood, to be honest.

LIKE This Post Or A Puppy Will Get A Tumor

So…for once I am not gonna rant or wax philosophical about mental health issues.

Today I want to address how we, as human beings, have been reduced to vapid “like” clicking social media mongers.

I want to point out all of the wonderful posts and articles on the web that are heartfelt, humorous, intelligent…And are lucky to get five likes, let alone the luxury of a comment.

I cannot tell you how many times I have been INFURIATED  by seeing such good posts, so well written, yet so ignored. Meanwhile some jackass posts a picture of their penis shaped pancake and gets 300 likes. Or some guy with thousands of followers who claims to understand depression yet basically shoves “suck it up” down your throat…And people clamor to click like, comment, and even promote that blog on their own pages.

Blinding hot rage fills my veins. Not out of jealousy. Out of disgust that such inanity passes for “good content”.

This has been brewing for months with me but came to a head last week. After weeks of R posting to Facebook all these brilliant historical quotes (albeit meant to bolster Trump) and receiving maybe five likes or comments…

One day his buddy takes a picture of R sitting on the step smoking a cigarette and looking up parts on his phone. By the next day, it has over 25 likes. OF A PICTURE OF SOMEONE USING A SMART PHONE.

Because ya know, omg, that is such an abnormality in this day and age where smart phones have become an extra appendage.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy a click of the “like” button, but I am writing from the heart here, pouring out my soul, sharing my weaknesses. I EARN that like for putting forth the effort to be honest. I honestly wish I’d get more comments because feedback is the only way I know whether my writing is resonating or not.

Lazy America (sans though simply too shy or whatever to do more than click like) just read a few lines, click like, and move along. I have over 700 alleged followers and average maybe 7 likes a day, two comments if I am lucky.

But allow me to post a picture of my phallic shaped potato I have in the kitchen and I could go viral.

Does this make any sense to anyone with a working brain?

People are fickle and shallow at times. And technology has made it worse. I hate someone coming over to my house allegedly for a movie then spending the entire time on their damned smart phone.

INANITY is worse than INSANITY.

So please…If you do indeed like my writing and it resonates…Click that like button. Comment because ya know, those rumors about me eating the souls of infants therefore being too scary to converse with are blown out of proportion.

Like this post or puppies will get tumors.

Nah. I love puppies.

Besides. I am fairly sure most of America already has tumors from liking pictures of vegetables shaped like body parts. What else could explain such…vapidity?

This post was approved by Morgue and she stands by it 100% percent. Go Tweet what a wacko I am.

Far be it for me to risk puppies getting tumors.