Archive for the single parenting Category

Shower Cap Tango

Posted in bipolar disorder, single parenting with tags , , , , , on October 4, 2018 by morgueticiaatoms

Three years ago when Bex was here from the UK and my kid dancing to the song from Chicago. She’s wearing a shower cap because she was being treated for head lice at the time.

Cos I got nothing else to say.

An Open Message To Non-Custodial Parents Who Miss Support Payments

Posted in child support, depression, fundraiser, single parenting with tags , , , , , , , , on September 27, 2018 by morgueticiaatoms

Dear non-custodial mom or dad-

Your responsiibilities to your bf/gf/spouse may end when the relationship does, but YOU ARE NOT ABSOLVED OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHILD(REN).

When the state or court orders you to pay support, it is your responsibility to make those payments. If you lose your job or change jobs, the decent thing to do is to tell the custodial parent that support is not forthcoming due to such circumstances. Even if you can only offer up a ten dollar bill until your circumstances improve, the effort shows you give a damn and helps you be viewed as a decent human being.

We depend on that money to feed OUR kids. Yes, the relationship we had is over, but WE still have a child together. OUR child needs heat and clothing and school supplies. When you fail to make a support payment, you are not hurting your ex. Your are hurting your child. The 20% or whatever the law requires you to pay is nothing compared to what the custodial parent pays but we still depend on that support to take care of OUR child. While you may not lose sleep over it, I can assure you those of us who have little ones counting on us, do lose sleep because we care about our children more than we care about ourselves.

That support isn’t for fancy clothes or dance classes or expensive game systems. It means the difference between the child(ren) getting adequate nutrition and warm clothes and having heat and a roof overhead. Blowing off this responsibility yet still thinking you’re a good person is delusional.

Choosing not to see your kid(s) does not absolve you of financial responsibility. That,too, is delusional. You make that choice, not me. Sticking me with the legal fees, yet not paying support, is just abhorrent.

You may not think a few missed support payments are a big deal, but I assure you…CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS ARE A VERY BIG DEAL.

For a disabled single parent with limited income, your apathy and irresponsibility are a big deal. Your lack of basic politeness to even text, email, or call and say, “I am changing jobs/lost a job, I can’t pay the support this month” makes you a basic jerk.

This isn’t about me. This isn’t about you. WE made a child together. I have taken on all the responsibility and for the third time snce you left, you have shunned even minute responsibility by flaking on the support payment or even giving me a heads up.

So non custodial parents, moms or dads, stop thinking only of yourself, stop thinking that not paying support is some dig at the custodial parent who messed up your life with a bad relationship. Grow up and think about the child we made together.

The kid(s) matter above all else. Failing them means you are a failure as a parent and as a person. Knock it off. It’s not about who did wrong or name calling or causing the other hardship. This is about the well being of a child we both brought into the world and basic human decency.

Sincerely,
The Mother Of Your Child

Due to these circumstances, I have started a new fundraiser because while I can do without whatever it takes so my kid has what she needs, I am not too proud to ask for some help.