Archive for the mental disability Category

Employment Wanted:Help me help myself!!!!

Posted in employment, mental disability with tags , , , , , , , on March 28, 2019 by morgueticiaatoms

The day was passing without too much trauma. Then out of the blue my dad calls and informs me-does not ask, INFORMS ME, that he is sending my brother over to get me and Spook’s bikes to air up the tires and we are to come with and ride them home. It wasn’t that it was a big inconvenience, but with my dad, even puking with the flu, you are expected to drop everything on his schedule, so the ONLY excuse he ever forgives is if you have a job. Single disabled mom doing her best to raise a kid alone on limited income…nothing I do is right, nothing I do will ever be enough. If you don’t work 60 hours a week at age 72, you are beneath him.

And so he blew up on the phone and said, “YOU DO THIS STUFF WHEN YOU HAVE TIME WHEN YOU HAVE A DAMN JOB, YOU HAVE TO SCHEDULE THINGS AROUND YOUR JOB!” Well, I never asked him to bother with the bikes so why this was so imperative to him is beyond me. I tried to say no but was bulldozed, as usual. Until I am able to repay them every cent I owe them, it is never gonna end unless I move far, far away or my dad croaks. And that isn’t being callous, it’s the truth. It’s like the man bought and paid for me with every thing he has given me as a gift or ‘help’ when we needed it. It is maddening and crippling to my self esteem when I AM TRYING TO GET WORK BUT I CANNOT MAKE PEOPLE HIRE ME.

I guess since my 23 year old man child learning disabled brother got on with McDonald’s then me not getting hired is somehow a lack of effort. Or a gun to hold to their heads. And my brother, omg, he’s worked 16 hours in the last 9 days, 2-3 hour shifts each day, no more, and he is gushing how much he loves it and it’s money money in his pocket and it’s easy (yet when I pointed out my kid can take out trash and wipe tables, he said, no it’s more complicated than that). Not to mention he is so ‘not right in the head’ they won’t let him drive anywhere but in this rural area so 6 days a week for this 16 hours they are toting him into town at $4 a day for gas. I don’t think he comprehends after taxes how little sixteen hours a week is. But then if all he has to do is reimburse mommy for gas, I guess he will have quite a bit excess to spend on video games. They won’t charge him rent or food or make him pay license his truck or insure it….So he has the luxury of being so arrogant as if he is really accomplishing so much. He won’t even feed my kid when he has her with him at their house, he’s so attached to the video game system. Yet he works so he’s above me now.

I am so sick of them, and their shit. My kid was about in tears when we finally left, after being pulled inside and essentially bullied into eating even though we had both just eaten and weren’t hungry but again, they wouldn’t take no for an answer. They kept taunting her for not feeling well Monday, for having a headache yesterday, saying does the baby need a bottle then telling her she’s worse than a 75 year old man and she needs to get over it. They are fucking monsters. Socially acceptable ones, which I can’t see as they are such raging racists and classists but whatever, rules are different in Armpit.

So yet again…ANYONE KNOW OF WORK FROM HOME EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES? I don’t care how mundane, I’ll write technical manuals, I’ll man a porn fetish chat group. I will do ANYTHING WITH MY DISABILITY LIMITATIONS. And please don’t assume the ability to raise a kid and string sentences together means I am not disabled mentally. It’s got NOTHING to do with intelligence.

At least I can say we rode the bikes home and I kept up fine, if anything, I sped ahead of my kid. Impressive for a 46 year old large woman who hasn’t ridden one since last summer. At least winter depression and inertia didn’t cause my muscles to atrophy. That being said, now I have an earache, as I usually do walking or riding, even when allegedly warm out. It’s like BBQ skewers in my ears, that cool wind and breeze. I don’t know many people who get jazzed about doing something that may be healthy, but ends up placing them in serious pain. Earaches hurt like mofo.

So…internet. Prove yourself useful. Bring us a guardian angel to help me help myself and thus help my kid. And by all means, if you hate narrow minded redneck bullies as much as I do, there is the added bonus of not just helping a disabled mom and her kid, but a big middle finger to the racist brigade.

I am tired of being put down instead of being encouraged and supported by my own family.

It’s time for some sunshine spewing pegacorns.

Did I mention I’d even do balloon porn? I REALLY do want to work but the only way I am going to succeed in the long term is to accept my disability limitation. There is no shame in that and if my disability were physical instead of mental, no one would think twice about accommodating my limits.

So much for the disability act meant to protect the disabled. It does very little for those of us whose minds send the wrong impulse and chemicals and distory our entire view of things. If anything, I should think your own brain not sending the right messages would be the ultimate disability. You can’t excel and wow people to hire you if your brain is telling you life is pointless, you are worthless, and you can do nothing right.

Work from home ooportunities? Internet jobs? Any ideas? Help us relocate and I will come to you and work my ass off…I have to escape this toxicity known as my family. And I am prepared to help myself but…I can’t find myself right now. Can anyone help? Can you just point me in the right direction? Please…