Archive for the anti depressant side effects Category

Poison Pill

Posted in anti depressant side effects with tags , , , on December 18, 2017 by morgueticiaatoms

I waited until after supper, when I had food on my tummy, to take my meds. Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Trintellix, as always.

Within 15 minutes I was hit with waves of nausea, to the point I was gagging just trying to read my kid a bedtime story.

I turned stuff off and took to my bed, determined to ride it out, determined not to throw up. Meds can’t help if you hurl them up, right?

I toughed it out forty minutes. I almost thought it was going to pass. But then the gag reflex took over and I was worshipping the porcelein throne. Over and over, I threw up, until finally…it stopped. And oddly, I felt soooo much better.

Down side, I’d also taken my bedtime Xanax shortly after the others so that was thrown up, as well, and that’s a waste of good panic stoppers and sleepy bringers. Grrr.

I have NOT been drinking, swear on the lives of my kid, cats, and every Halloween decoration I own.

No drugs, aside from generic Tylenol for cramps this morning around 9.

I ran some errands, swept, vacuumed, washed dishes, cared for my child. I braved a packed traffic accident-waiting-to-happen Aldi.

I did EVERYTHING right.

Yet once Trintellix went down the gullet…I went projectile. Thankfully my bathroom is near my bedroom.

Now, hour later, I feel way better, but I also feel like, well, damn it, now the nurse doc can say I’m not taking my meds. I take them, not my fault they don’t stay down. Lithium and Trintellix are the biggest nausea inducers I have ever been on, and while the neasea and such may dissipate for others over time…for me, it’s a daily lottery as to whether it will make my stomach hurt or make me nauseous or cause me to throw up.

I am so sick of it.

Not to mention, the way I have been snapping at my kid and the cats, for several weeks now, I can’t help but wonder if this is another case of Lexapro or Paxil where the drug itself increases my anxiety and causes a sort of irritable manic state.

But who do I try to talk to about it? It was obvious doc nurse didn’t believe much of what I said and she had little concern other than giving me some weak ass anti histamine for sleep. Which works not even as well as Benadryl does for making me sleepy.

I am not a lonely person. Never a truer statement than when I say, “I prefer being alone, I have loner interests, I seek company when I feel I need it.”

But when it comes to my current psych regime and meds…I’ve never feltĀ  more alone or helpless. And yes, I may sound like a broken record. The way I harp on things and take weeks or years to hash out a way to solve the problem-that’s a character flaw I can’t seem to counter no matter my efforts.

I just don’t think I am so wrong to want to be on medication that doesn’t result in feeling sick-or throwing up-45% of the time.

I’d send this to Dr. B if I thought he’d ever actually see it. Everyone knows the staff goes through the mail before the doctor does. That could be good or bad, but in my current mental state..I want to be face to face with Dr. B. I want him to see me, I want to look him in the eye, and I want him to see that screwed up as I am…the one thing I have in spades is sincerity and it’s not faked an iota.

And maybe rather than worry that changing my meds might make me more unstable thus harming his credibility…Maybe he will determine that I deserve better than the poison pill.

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