Morgue, The T-Rex Puppet, and Fright Night

After a humid wake-sleep-wake night, I finally got back to sleep at 4:30 a.m. ish. Only for my child to wake me at 6:40 a.m. Inwardly, I groaned and thought, well, fuck, so much for sleeping in for summer break…I couldn’t return to sleep because my brain came out of the gate, still stressed from a phone interaction with my father last night. He is turning the screws on me to get my old AC swapped out with the smaller but newer one and I tried to explain that the middle room is a mess, there’s no path to get to it, and the longer I wait, the lower my power bill. He got snotty and said he didn’t see the big deal and that I had better get it done while they, the important people, have the time to do it. Cos they are the ONLY ones special enough to yank an old unit and put in a new one. Odd how I made it the better part of 6 years at the trailer without their input or pressure.

I am still smarting from my psych nurse appointment and feeling so demoralized I want to quit my meds. If she is hell bemt on taking away the anti anxiety drugs and the anti depressant, there’s really no point. I have a lamictal and lithium stash that could last a year or two. If she takes me off the other meds, I will go down the rabbit hole. It happens EVERY time some well meaning but ignorant psych professional decided fewer meds are better. Of course, fewer meds is ideal. But I don’t have standard bipolar one so ideal is unlikely to ever occur in my lifetime. The lack of being treated as an individual with multiple diagnoses and a peculiar body processing chemistry of meds really gets me down. I know logically she’s my only option right now and blowing it off and dropping out only makes me look flaky, it does nothing to improve her shitty bedside manner. But she’s not hearing me so going in seems fucking pointless.

Between my dad, her, and the cats being out of food, I have been pretty low this morning. So low, I had to try to drag myself upward by acting goofy with the kittens and a dinosaur puppet. It made me laugh. Then of course I have to wonder, am I manic? am I losing it? Because God forbid anyone should simply be a kid at heart and be quirky. It’s gotta be a disorder or lack of medication. Society demands it.

That puppet came out of the trash after a neighbor moved, I just washed it up and used it to motivate Spook and her little friends to eat healthy snacks. It made them laugh so they must be mentally disordered.

I took a couple of pics yesterday of me not looking like a hag as a reminder that while depression of every kind is kicking my ass, I’m still a vibrant not hideous person.

And this is me with our kitten Fright Night.

Now the tough part that brings shame and yet…It is not technically for me and my own father won’t help so maybe a kind friend or reader might. It’s for our cats. They really are out of crunchy food and I really don’t have enough gas to get to town to buy my last $2 in food for them since no place in Armpit sells it. If someone would be so kind as to donate ten dollars via paypal it would get me a gallon of gas to get to town and money to buy enough cat food til Friday, or next Monday, never know when my check will come in. Obviously I would not be asking if it weren’t dire. I’d be willing to earn it if I lived close by to you and could walk dogs or clean house or whatever.
Me and Spook’s account is here,

Plus side, I tore into the middle room and shoved everything to the other side so now they can at least get to the window to swap out the AC.

I wonder how many guilt trips that ‘act of kindness’is going to bring upon me.

I may need more T-Rex puppet time.

They also have my daughter advising me where to work, as if I can just declare an interest and demand to be hired.

I am gonna need a whole puppet show.


5 Responses to “Morgue, The T-Rex Puppet, and Fright Night”

  1. T-rex puppets, really?
    Why not a penguin, so much cooler!

    And I hate to state the obvious; summer holidays with kids is hell, hot weather, social calendar planning, actually having to spend time with them… There are places in hell with zero star ratings some parents would prefer to be!!

    But I’d hate to add to your need to devour your med stash in one go so I’ll leave you with a compliment; send those pictures to playboy, put the swimsuit wearing bitches to shame!
    And rent a room or two to them under the guise of ‘reality spa’ to fund operations, free cleaning etc etc and call it a new age therapy?!

  2. Raaaaaa
    I’m a hungry T-Rex, feed me people you don’t like
    Raaaaaa, urggghhh
    Eaten too much, you really don’t like many people and I’m not free childcare or entertainment so take spook of my back!

    • We played toy animals early and my giraffe had two dinosaur kids and a pony daughter. Cannot accuse the kid of lack of imagination πŸ˜‰

      • You mean the T-Rex had a cross spieces relationship and\or became a single foster father
        That kid is not going to be easily phased when she grows up!!

        Congrats; you’ve got revenge on society by raising a reality accepting, social standard busting bar ass!!

        Ps: if you are going to guilt family folks out of money etc for some fun, get them to pay for you to see ‘Aladin’
        Kick ass and fun version of a classic

      • My dad would not spit on me if I was on fire,sadly. I will take my revenge by letting them watch my kid all day tomorrow after church,ha ha ha. Feeding her two meals is as much as a movie with popcorn,she has a big munchy addiction πŸ˜‰

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