Topsy fricking Turvy

I just talked to my dad on the phone. I made a comment about how that animal kennel job is still posted but I haven’t even gotten a nibble. Then he pointed out that by the time I paid for gas (it’s 35 miles one way) and racked up miles on the car, it wouldn’t be profitable. I was still despaired to not even get a call or something. He actually validated me FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE, EVER, and said, “You’ll find something eventually, you’ve just been out of the employment market for so long, it will take time.”

I thought I was gonna faint. Then I pondered if stepmonster was feeding him animal tranqs.

It was a nice change, don’t get me wrong, but it’s akin to Satan offering to install AC in Hell. It just doesn’t happen so when it does, it blows your mind.

I did not sleep well last night again but at least I slept some and got up this morning. More cold and gloom so my motivation is nil.

The Abilify gave me another skull crushing headache last night, the kind where even slivers of light make it throb worse, so I was laying in bed at 7:30 p.m with a thick blanket over me eyes. My daughter came in and told me I looked scary but, it wasn’t yet dark and even with my crypt-y dark room the hint of sunlight was causing me great agony. I hope this side effect goes away. It sucks.

I just realized I made a dentist appointment for Spook tomorrow after school since i missed her six month check up- and my check won’t come til Thursday so…I am gonna have to reach out.

Anyone spare $20 for gas and some cat food?

That is our paypal direct deposit.

I offered to take my brother to work and walk the dogs to earn the money from my dad but he said they don’t need help and they don’t ‘have the money’, told me to cancel the appointment and reschedule. Without 24 hour notice, insurance gets billed then I catch hell from them…

So, um, yeah…We would be super grateful. Anything leftover I’d use to buy stamps, there are some job openings with her school for next school year but you have to submit an actual letter of interest through the mail. I think I could be a lunch lady or bus monitor. Though as usual, that damn misdemeanor on my record will likely bite me on the ass. I can still try and hope, though.

To everyone who has been so kind to us, thank you a million times. I truly am sorry that I keep asking to raise funds for stuff that is my own baggage. My dad is constantly making comments about ‘at least I don’t go expecting handouts’. A friend once told me the fundraisers weren’t asking for a handout, they were asking friends to help you in a tough situation where your best efforts have failed to let you help yourself.

I’m gonna go with what she said.

I am still looking to work from home. So desperate I signed up for ‘take surveys from home to earn money’ and now it’s fucking Spam city.

Next month is mental health awareness month so prepare to hear all about it and also, the end stigma commercials for those who don’t grasp mental illness. Let’s all mention that as much as possible during the month of May in an effort to educate and spread the word. Maybe if there wasn’t such stimga I’d already have been hired for a job by now. Mentally disordered doesn’t mean useless or dangerous. Let’s work together to drive that point home and become warriors in this battle.

Ya know, if everyone can stop watching and talking about Game Of Thrones long enough;)

I only said that cos my sister texted me at 9 last night and told me she needed a Xanax cos GOT was too fucking good and she was getting too hopped up and yelling at the TV.

I don’t get it but to each their own. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone bonkers for several shows that way. I just can’t remember right now with the gloom goggles on.


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