Spitfire And Brimstone

So, this devilish morsel was in my email and I snickered. Because it really is a freedom of speech and religion matter, no matter how distasteful certain others may find anything related to the practice of Satanism. I had a friend who was a very big follower of Anton Levey and the Church of Satan and he sent me literature on it and for me it was as redundant as all other organized religions. But hey, worship at the altar of Pegacorn, just keep your creepy depictions of dudes nailed to a cross away from me cos I find it not just offensive, but horrific. Oh, wait, you have freedom of religion, why shouldn’t those who follow Satanic teachings?

I’m in a mood, again. My kid woke up spewing in the middle of the night, stomach flu, so it’s just been messy and more laundry and housework I can’t keep up with and she stayed home today from school but within 3 hours she was springing back to her normal spitfire. I am glad she is feeling better, I just wish it hadn’t involved so much barf laden laundry. That costs me money on the already ass trashy water bill, having to wash stuff over and over. I fret the amount of water we use for baths and dishes because the cheapest bill this town even gives out is $64 a month-before you’ve used a drop of water. It’s fucking ridiculous but I’m being a good monster, er mom, and doing the laundry and caring for her even though I’m a little under the weather myself without my medications. (Had to pay the water bill, just pray I don’t go manic or shut down.)

The hellidays are seeping through my damned walls but I can’t even figure out how to assemble this stupid artificial tree we were given. Because it’s like six feet tall and weighs 80 pounds and I’m only one person, ffs, I occasionally need help but it’s not forthcoming. This was why I liked my old tree, it was lightweight. This one is so unwieldy I can’t even pick up the box. But my dad and stepmom don’t like my home aromatherpy scents (who the fuck dislikes peppermint?) so they won’t come inside and now of course, we’re a flubola home. I just want to put the damn thing up so I can say I didn’t deny my kid a tree. But we still need to rehome these foster cats which my dad is in no hurry to help me with and won’t even give me the number of the home wanting the cats so I can take care of it myself…And watch the limited supply we have dimish daily with zero hope of replenishment in the immediate future but does my dad care, nope, he has to be controlling and, well, a dick. I said something about being low on toilet paper so he sent my kid home with a corn cob and said to use that.

I’d have a sense of humor if he were truly being funny as opposed to just being a cold hearted jerk.

Sorry for those who were expecting an entertaining post. FAIL. I am a hit or miss person, though.

I saw the psych nurse yesterday and I don’t dislike her but without the doctor overseeing her, she was pretty distant and preoccupied with typing shit on the computer as opposed to you know, looking at me and interacting with me. Clack clack clack. I guess I am just demanding and needy, expecting them to spend at least the same amount of time talking to me and looking at me as they do the fucking phone or computer screen. But we’re swapping out Cymbalta for Wellbutrin and I get a day dose of the anti histamines cos they help with my allergies and they do calm me a teensy bit…But since I can’t get my meds this month, well…Um…It’s gonna be a bitch to explain when I see her again in 4 weeks why I couldn’t start the new med. She and her nurse both asked me about counseling. I told the nurse I used to go before ‘that hospital’ took over and it became behavioral health and she said, oh, yes, it has become quite the hell hole. Nurse doc is too new to the area to grasp that going there would be as mentally healthy as playing with a rusty razor blade. It’s not lack of compliance. But it’s the only place my insurance will pay for therapy so if it’s really that crucial to my well being, maybe insurance needs to be a bit more flexible in covering competent services as opposed to…behavioral health. Ugh, hate that damn term worse than I hate being called bipolar over manic depressive. Bipolar requires an explanation to most, whereas manic depressive, even simpletons grasped that meaning. Now instead of mental health or counseling, it is ‘behavior health treatment’.

My behavior isn’t what makes my moods swing so…fuck off.

I tried to keep my mask on yesterday, in public, ya know the, “Hi, I am a pleasant human being who doesn’t want to stab you in the eyeball with a spork” mask…I wasn’t in town 10 minutes and some jackhole was tailgating me so close down a mile long strip that I had to pull into a parking lot and put the car in park and scream IF YOU’RE GONNA RIDE MY ASS, AT LEAST PULL MY HAIR FIRST! (The other day I got so distracted, I actually left the car in neutral instead of park since that,too, doesn;t work right, and the car started rolling away…omg, fml, ftw, get me out of this helliday nightmare.)

Vulgarity is the only thing that prevents road rage bumper car stuff, so don’t judge me too harshly. Or do. Whatever.

I wish we lived closer to civilization so I could go see that Satanic display, if only cos it pisses religious people off.

I saw a shirt I want. It said, “Bitch Is The New Black.”


Now back to my duties cleaning up after the Barfmaster 3000. (She hates me saying it but it makes her laugh everytime.)


3 Responses to “Spitfire And Brimstone”

  1. poor spook! I hope she’ll be ok! I love your sense of humour, btw! You always make me smile!

    • I think my humor is probably the most surprising thing about me to others, considering how dark my writing is when describing the depressions. But my kid informed me today that I am a fun funny mom, even when calling her Barfmaster 3000, so I’ve either learned to fake it like a boss or the depressions aren’t completely keeping humor at bay.

      Kids are far less critical than adults, though, so I doubt I will hear any time soon from fellow grown ups how I am ‘fun’.

      I call them Grouchmaster 1000. 😛

      On Thu, Dec 6, 2018 at 2:30 PM Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:


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