Kill The Drama Llama Already

To clarify for regular readers of this blog…Yes,I often call my kid the drama llama but NO I am not talking about her in this post so no killing of the spawn is indicated nor wanted.

This time I am talking about widespread long living Drama Llama Syndrome involving my toxic family.

Since the necessitated move to Armpit,USA,where Dad and stepmonster are local ‘heroes’ with the redneck elite…there has been effort from both paternal and maternal factions to create and perpetuate drama. In fact,with all the seeming knives in my back,I feel like my voodoo man knife rack’s chest.

Dad and his crew trash mom and her faction, buy us stuff then rub it in my sister’s face, and apparently trash me behind my back. Dad does it to my face so the big offender seems to be stepmonster being nice to my face and putting me down behind my back. Recently dad misquoted my sister,making it seem she was calling me their ass kisser and such.

The flaw with that plan,though,is, my sister and I have always been cool even if I am 6 years older than her. Their attempt to turn us against each other might have worked if I weren’t so aware of the family drama and backstabbing history.

Today mom and my sis (had to take sis a snarky card for her 39th bday) felt the need to tell me all about how dad’s faction trashes me to them.

It’d be so easy to go ballistic and be overcome with anger (especially with the pmdd and monthly curse kicking my ass) but…

I am not my family. I got a job and moved out at 17 to escape the drama and doublecrosses. For over 20 years I have tried to maintain my own home and involve myself with family as rarely as possible. Which lead to a lot of accusations of being anti social,rude,hateful,thinking I am too good for or better than them…After a counselor met my dysfunctional core family she told me they were toxic emotionally so avoidance seemed a good option.

I pointed this out to mom and sis today. Since mom and dad split up 20 years ago it’s been nothing but ‘pick a side or suffer drama and grudges’. Count me out.

Just hearing how stepmonster (supposedly,but likely) trashes me to mom and sis while being nice to my face made my stomach acids start churning painfully,on top of cramps.

NOPE.

I made it clear this drama and infighting between the factions is why I have always kept to myself. Now that my kid is witnessing all the treacherous dysfunction of my core family,I want to shield,d her from the negativity. We are all her family and her feelings should be her own. Not based on old grudges or criticisms.

I hope they took it to heart. Trying to talk to dad’s faction is pointless but the sentiment is the same. I will NOT have my kid dragged into it and let it taint her feelings for any of us.

I am in my final hours before I get 5 days of a bored hyper kid for spring break. With the hormonal havoc and cramps from hell,I don’t think Easter is gonna be bunnies and candy for me.

No sooner than I escape gabapentin haze,I get monthly curse hell to top off anxiety and depression. Yay.

I am gonna make the most of it and try to forget I saw a ‘friend’ in town who commented on my weight loss and how good I look then touched my belly and told me how to get rid of it.

Maybe I am so down on people because this is the sort of thing I have to deal with daily. ‘You look great,but this is still wrong and here’s how to fix it.’

Road to hell,pavement,good intentions. If only those types had a filter or s mute button. Rude!

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2 Responses to “Kill The Drama Llama Already”

  1. Oh yes…I’m very familiar with these types of family dynamics!

    • It baffles me why no amount of tapping out makes them knock off the drama. I guess this is where all the talk therapy and self growth screws me over- no one else is facing their flaws so they never stop the negative behavior. Think I liked it better when I was undiagnosed and unmedicated. It was easier to be an eccentric black sheep than face that no matter how much I change for the better,no one else will.

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