I Wish Someone Would Write ‘How To Talk To Doctors For Dummies’

I got my usual reminder call for my psych appt tomorrow and it triggered an hours long bout with anxiety,borderline panic,paranoia,and self doubt.

Which really irks me because I’ve done nothing wrong,I am taking the prescribed meds,I had my lab work done.

So why the heightened anxiety to see the doctor?

I guess part of it is my own social awkwardness and general terror of doctors.

A larger part,though,is 25 years of bad experiences with some pretty iffy if not downright incompetent doctors.

My first appointment with new Doc H was supposed to be a thirty minute first visit intake. I was kept waiting over a half hour and the entire thing felt rushed,almost adversarial,since she got a little irate when I mentioned missing my old shrink. I don’t think an anxiety riddled patient should have been subjected to her new doc’s agitation with staffing issues,at all. Kinda makes me wish I could record my appointments cos with mental health issues,no one ever believes a patient over a shrink. But I honestly feel her temperament really triggered my anxiety and paranoia.

It shouldn’t be an issue…except her tone first appointment in was a resigned,’I’m willing to work with you but you’ve tried this,this,that…’ Kind of hints that she’s fed up before even getting started. Then there was the whole not returning my calls when the gabapentin high dose kicked my ass so bad.

I just don’t feel hopeful about this doctor and she only has her own bedside manner to blame.

I will act on the ‘even doctors have bad days especially when staffing problems overwhelm them’ assumption. She’s only human.

Then again,so am I and her manner was soo the wrong approach with me. Guess that’s me being self centered and expecting to be dealt with in a respectful to my disorders way.

So…if you only intend to tell the truth- gabapentin makes me too loopy to not be depressed so I can’t say if Effexor is helping depressive symptoms- why do I feel like I am somehow failing this harried doc who obviously does not have time for a med resistant med sensitive basketcase like me?

Really. Someone needs to write that for dummies book on how to deal with doctors. Because I am clueless when even the truth seems like the wrong thing to say.

What a sad statement about local psych care that I don’t even feel entitled to tell the truth because by not instantly responding to new meds and improving…I am letting down the doctor and complicating their life.

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One Response to “I Wish Someone Would Write ‘How To Talk To Doctors For Dummies’”

  1. Totally get where you’re coming from! Maybe she will improve with age? I totally believe her attitude. Last time mine shook her head and told me we had tried everything….No, no we haven’t I wanted to yell at her. Instead I said what about geodon. Hmmm, well, maybe that would be something to try she admitted. But I had to be the one to instigate it otherwise she would have just sent me on my way with a med increase likely. Annoying. We don’t need this shit. Hope the side effects from the gabapentin are lessening.

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