Don’t Know What You’ve Got Until It’s Gone

I am talking about my phone. I have little use for phones aside from my own convenience and needs but four days without the ability to call for anything, even if I don’t need to call for anything…Not a fan. The phone itself was a five dollar flip phone, but the biggest loss is all my pictures and ringtones. I could go a week with the phone laying about and not think twice if it never rang or I never used it. Having that option taken away…Not a fan.

Also not a fan of my bank right now. Last month my check was released on the 31rst so I figure this month, sans a holiday, it’d be there today, the first. Nope. How can I count on anything with this wily nilly shit? Thankfully, R came by last night and bought me smokes. Not that he offered or cared I had none, I just flat out asked. Begged.

Oh and how I earned that pack of smokes. All his political speak and treating me like some mentally disabled sheeple, grrrr. I never bring the subject up, but he always finds a way and he’s too goddamn stuck on being a zealot he won’t even agree to disagree. He will not let up until I agree with his views because they are The Only Right Views. I tried to explain why I feel the way I do and he ripped that away by saying I’m focusing on the politics when truth is, I give zero fucks about the political arena. I DO care when those in power fuck with my basic human rights. I DO care when our leader banishes trans-people from military service on TWITTER, like a fifteen year old boy would brag about copping his first feel of a boob. I DO care that our leader, and I use the term loosely, makes the entire American public look like mental defectives with arrested emotional development.

I can’t even convince him to just not discuss it with me since we are never going to agree. He shoves his damn iphone and his video clips in my face and just hammers away. He’s not even touting Trumpire as the second coming anymore, he’s just obsessed with politics being dirty and corrupt. NO FUVKING SHIT. Always has been, always will be. Politicians are vile, filthy, despicable people on a whole. (Except Trey Gowdey, I like that man, for some reason and he’s republican, go figure.) Anyway…I just want to agree to disagree and avoid the subject but I keep getting pulled back into the muck. Redundant.

Done with that rant. On to the next.

Had to bury a kitten yesterday and its sibling isn’t doing so well so probably have to bury another. They were the outdoor strays the neighbor kids brought over. I’ve buried so many cats, my yard is a pet cemetary. And as usual, the ghoulish kids always ask, “Where’s the body, can we see it before you bury it?” Who the fuck raises these monsters? I’m a ghoul but when it comes dead animals…That will get you on my bad side fast. Yeah, yeah, they’re just kids. So was Dahmer.

On the mental front…I think the Trintellix is doing something and it’s good. I’m not bouncing off walls but then, I am under so much stress with all these kids and their dramas and the money problems and cats climbing me constantly and the family bullshit…It’s hard to say if you’re depressed or not because stress makes you depressed even if you aren’t. I know my energy is up, I’m no longer holed up in my bedroom crypt 24-7, I’ve been half ass keeping up with housework and I have managed to read halfway through a 300 page book. So…improvement. Which could vanish just as soon as the seasonal hits in September so since I am being forced to see Dr. Nurse, I am gonna ask if we can bump up to 10mg. Not with any joy because likely I will face the horrid side effects all over again until my body adapts but if it’s doing good and I want to avoid the abyss seasonal brings..I’m gonna have to suck it up and deal.

For today I am pissy due to shark week and my money not being in the bank but I have smokes for the moment, we have food, and Spook is quietly playing in her room with two little friends and they’re not driving me nuts so I will take it as a win. Except for when I later have to go to the shop to get R’s new expiration date as his AmEx was declined as expired for the dryer part he had me order. Joy joy. I guess it’s ten minutes away from the trailer hood brats but then again, it’s ten minutes in the dish and I run the risk of having an iphone and political clip shoved in my face.

I really wish people would keep their phones to themselves. Or maybe since I have to upgrade to a smart phone, I’m just gonna start shoving MY smart phone in their faces playing some of the most obnoxious, horrid metal music out there. Goatwhore. Butthole Surfers. Cannibal Corpse. It’d make me run screaming but then, I’m a bit smarter than most smart phone users. I can take a hint when someone says “No, I don’t want to see the video.” Other people…Look at my grandbabies dance recital video, look at this band I found, it’s not that long of a clip, just look look look….

When that pulse hits and all electronics are wiped out…I am gonna laugh my ass off as much as I will cry for my own loss of the internet. Because unlike the pampered masses, I remember life before computers, smart phones, and the internet. I know what to do with myself minus those things.

I’ll use their tears and a filtration system so I never run out of water to drink and bathe in.

Moi, evil? 333, only half evil. 😉

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