99 In The Shade But It’s Cool

So, okay, it’s only 91 today, but it’s gonna reach 98 by weeks’ end. Even with air and fans…the humidity makes it uncomfortable.

Good thing my brain is behaving today so it’s cool.

I was mildly irked by the nurse doctor’s staff pushing for the lithium level test and when I finally had it done…two days later I’m still waiting to hear if all is okay. I had to call them, then wait another 4 hours.WTF. This is hell for a paranoid with an anxiety disorder. Logically, if they don’t call, it’s likely nothing is wrong, right? My scumbag brain thinks not and insists on hearing yay or nay before it will calm down. Fortunately, when they finally got back to me…all tests came back normal. Not a fan of how that place operates, old regime was more on the ball.

Yeah, yeah, it just wouldn’t be Morgue without a complaint.

I talked to my sister last night, or more accurately, texted and she explained to me that mom is in the early stages of dementia and turning on everyone then she has no memory of doing it. I am trying to show compassion but considering the lack mom has shown me for my mental condition…it’s a challenge. At least I know it’s not personal, she’s still trying to turn my sister’s kid against her and he’s about to turn 19. I really don’t look forward to aging with my genetics, my future appears to be either Alzheimer’s or dementia. Shoot me instead.

I made it 36 hours without a real cigarette yesterday, just using the e-cig. Cos I ran out and am broke, not because I want to be a conformist hypocrite former smoker. Shoot me if I become that asshole. Suffice it to say…I broke and begged R to bring me a pack. He did and in return I brought frozen pizza to the shop today for lunch and watched the place while he ran to do an outcall. By hour 3, I really was crawling out of my skin. Heat, bright light, too much noise and input, I overload. Fled the scene like a bank robber driving away.

Came home and was running an instant daycare. Then came the wailing about can the devil girls eat supper with us…I said if they’d eat spaghetti, sure. That’s easy and cheap enough to make in bulk. Then I had to run out for the ingredients and took all 3 girls with me. What can I say, some days I am calmer and strong enough to do such things. I unfortunately never know when I am going to be a badass semi normal person or when I am going to rapidly circle the drain and become a weakling wussy basketcase. It’s like a sucky lottery, all I ever win is wimpy basketcase. The rare occasion I get to feel like a badass…winner winner chicken dinner, no salmonmella included. YAY.

Another cool thing, R gave me a brand new antenna thingie a customer gave him and now, we have 6 TV channels whereas before we had zero. One of them is even good!

So, that’s the current tale from the crypt. Proof I can give credit to good things when it’s due.

Catch you next mood swing…Don’t go too far.

One Response to “99 In The Shade But It’s Cool”

  1. amybelle1 Says:

    You really enjoy your style of writing! It’s so down to earth !

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