Twas The Day After Christmas….

And I feel like my ass has been kicked by Andre the Giant.

I survived the family shindig. Christmas Day was just me and Spook at home. Quiet, calm, no drama. Obligatory calls to wish the parents well.

Today…I feel hungover. Minus the booze. This is the norm for me every year. I can feign my way through joy. The psychological cost is astronomical.

Tis a warmish sunny day and Spook is outside playing with the devil girls.

I feel like I was embalmed alive.

(The kids’ gleeful shrieking is setting off my panic receptors but another Xanax will make me zonk out. Odd since at night I still need melatonin to sleep.WTF?)

On the plus side, there was no family drama X Mas Eve. We all got along well. As usual, my chicken noodles were a hit. I made a HUGE kettle with 4 packs of noodles and by nights’ end…only broth was left. Least I got something right.

Is it just me or does anyone else suffering bipolar depression feel so tapped out and drained after the hellidays even if everything went fairly well?

It makes me feel like a wussy.

So in spite of all the housework that needs done…It can wait til I bounce back from this trip down the rabbit hole.

Sooo…do tell. How was YOUR holiday? Even if all went well…Do you feel hungover as if you went on a week long bender?

Or is it just me?

And does anyone else find no matter how much the bright ass sunlight sorta lifts the mood…yet sets off the panic and sense of paranoia and danger?

I used to say, “so many freaks, so few circuses.”

How the hell did I end up being the ringmaster? And where are my damned tigers to play with and train to maul cockweasels?

Satan, er, Santa doesn’t always bring you what you want, kids.

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2 Responses to “Twas The Day After Christmas….”

  1. sorry you still feel like Andre body-slammed you from the corner post. The one that got me was feeling embalmed. That had me going, “Mummy!! MUM! MUMMY! MUM! Mum! Mum!”

  2. I’m right there with you. People don’t realize the effort we have to put into being “happy”. It’s often not easy. It’s often downright hard. I have a tendency to insulate myself and that makes all the people just so much harder to bear.

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