Pile It On

So let me discuss the week from hell that has had me too rattled to even write here.

Last week, our furnace went out. I am talking “see your breath in the air” out. We bundled up and under but it was miserable. Worse was, I had a brief window where I *might* have been able to get a guy here to check it out…But of course, that day scumbag brain kept telling me I could not have anyone invade my safe space, the house is a mess, they will take my kid away, they will lock me up…I was paralyzed by all these distorted thoughts that felt so very real and threatening.

On Monday, after two calls to the landlord, the heat got fixed. BUT not before I got a call from the dean of students. My kid was telling everyone we had no heat and they assumed I’d failed to pay my bill and gotten shut off. Wanna know what sends bolts of terror into a parents’ heart? “We’re not going to turn you into DCF, we just thought we could offer resources if you need help.”

Ok, panic sufferers…What part of that would have smacked you upside the head first, logic be damned?

DCF.

I explained it was just the furnace being out and I was waiting on the repair guy but still…Freaked me out.

On Tuesday…the school sent her home with pink eye. I took her to prompt care and in addition to pink eye, she has an outer ear infection. The doctor insists it is from poking Q tips in there, she swears she did not do that. I know I don’t use them except for make up and I’ve told her a thousand times not to use them but I guess I need to lock up all cotton products lest she start eating cotton balls.

So to the pharmacy for ear drops (four each ear, twice a day) and eye drops (two drops each ear every four hours.) One of the medications, while paid for by her kidcare thru the state, was $195. For something smaller than  a dollar store bottle of Visine. FFS.

On top of all this, I have the texting chihuahua wanting his shit tended to. He even got snarky cos I told him I could not watch a  movie and have ritas last night cos it was my kid’s Christmas program. He started in on how can they keep her out of school but let her go the program, yea, uh-huh. Like I was lying. So I shot back “I quit, my kids comes first even if it inconveniences you.”  Then I got the “oh, I was just joking, don’t get so bent, call me later” text.

Nope.

This morning the spawn channeled Satan because I wouldn’t let her wear her high heels from last night’s program. 25 minutes of her kicking, bawling and screeching YOU DON’T WANT ME TO BE PRETTY. I had to fight to get her ear and eye drops in her, all the while terrified she will go to school and claim abuse.

Oh and the teacher finally returned the ADHD assessment. Apparently my kid is a perfectly normal child at school whose only issues are claiming she feels unloved and unwanted “very often”.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

I don’t know what else I can do to make her feel loved  because nothing is ever enough. And she is so dramatic she is still whining about being laughed at in gym two weeks ago cos she farted and thus she has no friends and everyone hates her. What am I supposed to do with this?

At the end of my rope, I called my shrink’s office today. He is out, as usual. I got the nurse who stared spewing about the sun lights curing my depression and I had to get a little irked just to get across that I NEED HELP.

I am so damned frustrated and fed up. Life just keeps piling it on and people wonder why I look so tired, so disheveled, so defeated. HELLO?

Today I have to take her for a follow up with the nurse practitioner to make sure her ear is healing. God forbid I don’t do every tiny specific thing I am told because obviously my kid’s only problem is I am a bad mother.

Which I buy as much as I buy the cockweasel mainstream masses saying mental illness is something you can “snap out of.”

I am a decent mom and I do my best and ya know, sometimes kids just their own mental baggage. I did at her age. I didn’t like sharing my best friend with the other girls cos I felt left out and unliked.

Now I wait for the call or knock cos some well meaning assclown will decide my kid having some social issues is me being an inept parent. I am sure the high heeled shoes fiasco of this morning will be reported as some sort of assault.

So for now I am going back to binge watching ER and chain smoking and just try not think about all the bullshit dragging me under. Because there is more to come for the holidays and if I don’t take some much needed vegetative town…

It could end up being silent night, deadly night for my family. GRRRRRR.

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4 Responses to “Pile It On”

  1. heatherruark Says:

    Gah. Tis’ the season of giving. Family is the gift that never stops giving…all the damn time. I hear they have discount Z-Whacker parts in Tijuana. You in?

  2. Hey you, long time no post. I hope you’re okay. I tried to go into chat but my name was in use for some weird reason. ><

    • Oh, it did that to me at first, too. I just did a log in with email and it let me have my name right back. I will post soon, shit week. ❤

      On Fri, Dec 16, 2016 at 12:40 PM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:

      >

  3. I’m sorry shit has been rough. And I’m really sorry that I’ve been so wrapped in my own shit that I haven’t checked in. I seriously have no useful advice, but I am around if you need someone to talk to.

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