Can you fall in love with someone’s mind without ever having met them?

As a long time user of the internet and chat rooms…I believe you can fall head over heels for someone’s mind. Those who dispute this are apparently unaware of the bond that can be created simply typing on a computer/device. Especially when personalities and humor mesh.

I’ve fallen for many a mind on line.

I’m not talking about tossing everything aside to run off to Zimbabwe for some random person I wrote six lines to on the internet.

But I have formed many deep bonds on line with people who I truly care about. Most I have never met. This is irrelevant to me because I never set out to meet people in real life. I have too many issues and dysfunctions to fret about real life involvements. I am bad at them.

On line…I am charismatic. Funny. Quirky. Appreciated for my writing, my words, my mind.

And that is what it boils down to. Not leaving your spouse for an internet handle. Not cheating on your significant other because you “love” someone from a chat room.

It IS possible to develop “mind lust” for those we encounter on line. There need not be any sexual component. It can be as simple as “this person makes me laugh”. It can be a meeting of the minds where you share similar ideas, tastes, etc, and it makes you feel understood and less alone. It can be mindless banter that lifts your mood. There need not be anything nefarious or unhealthy about on line friendships.

Personally, I excel at internet friendships. My oldest friend came all the way from England to stay with my daughter and I for a few months. We met in a chat room 15 years ago. We still talk, Skype, exchange emails. Not a single flesh and blood friend I’ve made in my life has ever kept in touch so regularly. I have never bonded to another human being in the same way, aside from my child. This “internet person” is not merely my friend, or bestie, she is like a sister to me. I adore her mind, her humor, our banter, the way we are so alike and yet so different. It’s a healthy relationship even if started on line and continued on line.

Many people wonder, “What can you possibly get out of typing to some random stranger?”

My answer is, “What don’t I get out of it?”

I am interacting with people, yet maintaining my real life. Watching shows, listening to music, playing with my kid, eating, curled up in Fort Blankie cos the depression is so bad…But I can still interact with others who get it, who won’t judge me for looking like death warmed over, or tell me I smell bad or my house is a sty or tell me my taste in music sucks. I am accepted for what I type, for how I express my feelings, express my humor, for how I treat others. How I look, if I squeeze the toothpaste tub the wrong way, if my tone is snippy…None of that matters interacting with others on line. There is no pettiness and no drama.

It’s almost exciting to look forward to talking to certain people on line because they bring something positive to your day. I suppose you can call that “mind lust”. Nothing to do with sex or upsetting the balance of one’s real life. It’s just a different kind of friendship that is discounted by too many. I find it odd as prior to the internet, pen pals were a big thing and I enjoyed that, as well.

My point is…Yes, you can love someone simply for their mind without ever seeing them or meeting them. It’s healthy. It’s energizing. It can fill you with smiles and laughter.

And it is often the only place many of us can find total acceptance and be appreciated for our minds as opposed to judged for our flaws.