Fuck a Fancy Bag Of Fuck Knuckles

My sinus drainage today is making me miserable, as it has all week. Was just this tickle at the back of my throat and a nagging cough everyone mocked and told me was annoying. This morning I feel like I am drowning in my own snot. How attractive is that? Geeze, being human kinda sucks.

Yesterday was another one of those “did I get out of bed for THIS” days.  My nephew got his diploma from his mail order school and I couldn’t afford a gift so I thought, well, I can cook a meal and we can all eat together. Which for me meant a trip to the under renovation Aldi (what a mess) then another store for the noodles. Traffic frayed my nerves cos I can’t stand driving behind slow people nor understand idiots so busy with their damned smart phones they’re driving on MY side of the road and nearly take out my damned bumper. Two words: RETROACTIVE ABORTION. Stupid people should just not exist.

Yes, I am PMS-ing and my mood is shit. I have knives and an attitude, wanna poke the bear some more?

Ugh. It was like trudging uphill to cook the meal, to drag it to my mom’s, to sit and smile and laugh and pretend that I want to do this shit. Plus, nephew and his fiance were into it so she sat in her car until he was done eating and went upstairs then she came in to eat. So much bloody drama.

We came home. I smelled gas. Nearly had a heart attack to realize…when I turned off my noodles…I didn’t turn the knob off totally so no flames but gas leaking…FUCK. My luck I would blow up my home and it’d either be “oh, she left a lit cigarette going” or “she was trying to off herself”. Um…No. Depression wipes out your memory. The meds to help the mood shit also affect your memory and focus. I’m just screwed.

Following this debacle…My kid, too lazy to get her own cup of water, grabs mine, takes a gulp, and rushes off to her friends…but doesn’t bother making sure the cup landed on the table. Instead it hit the floor, splashed EVERYWHERE. Laptop, cooling fans, my pants, my bed, the floor, everywhere. And I panicked and turned the computer down and laid back so water would drain out instead of soaking in all the while wailing GET ME A TOWEL.

What does my kid do? She stomps off sobbing “I am so stupid!”, hitting herself in the head, and doesn’t bring me a towel.

Fortunately, the computer is still working but I nearly died when all that happened. She is so careless. It’s not stupidity or clumsiness. She just can’t focus or won’t and she is impulsive and careless. Things that scare me because what if she’s in such a hurry to get to her friends she looks one way but not both ways and a car runs over her? FFS.

To further torture myself, I watched a bit of the debate. Not cos I give a fuck but because I wanted to be armed for the next onslaught by R and his man boner for Trump. Guess what? Trump behaved like a petulant child not getting his way and Hillary seemed to keep her cool. But sociopaths can lie without it registering at all so…I gave up after fifteen minutes. Especially after Trump made it clear if he gets in, he will appoint more republican justices and have Roe V Wade turned over. And what was that diatribe about women getting abortions three or four days before the baby is due? Does this man even have a fucking clue what he’s on about? I just know my vagina is NOT his or anyone else’s business.

thumbClassy, eh? True, though.

Around nine my mom called in a panic. My uncle with bone cancer took a turn for the worst, after he’d been improving and handling chemo well, they were rushing him to the hospital in the capitol for surgery. I still haven’t heard word what’s going on beyond that.

At ten the texting chihuahua struck. Then called. And bitched me out for not taking his calls for two days when in fact, I didn’t receive any calls from him. I swear to god he makes this shit up cos he knows my “obama phone” is a five dollar piece of shit with iffy service he can use against me. He got all pissy and said, “Can you at least show up at the shop for two hours tomorrow?”

I told him if he’s seeking a hard commitment, I can’t give it. More diatribe from him.

I told him about my uncle and he just kept on about him, him, him.

The man needs to chill out and back off. The other morning, I actually woke up with a panic attack waiting for his current demands and knowing he needed this board and that capacitor and I needed to get on that…Unhealthy doesn’t begin to cover it. I think I am reaching the end of my tether. May be time to invite Mrs R out for a soda or something and talk to her about how to get him tamed down without completely wrecking our friendship. I don’t want to explode the whole damned thing and if anyone can talk sense to him, it’s her. She’s my only ally.

I see my shrink tomorrow, unless they change it again cos aliens stole his BMW so he has to leave. FUCK.

If I weren’t battling the seasonal depression, all the abrupt weather shifts (one day 90 degrees, then down to fifties and rainy)…All this other crap in my life would make me want to gargle razor blades anyway.

But I am not gonna do that. Depression will not win. The suck ass world will not defeat me. I am a badass waiting for my chance to Z Whack some zombies or politicians and only then will I wave the white flag on this shithole world.

To end this rant with a bit of  “if you can still laugh, you’re ok”…

lilslashers-black-750x750catfan_m_product-750x750spikedtea_env3__43583-1469127248-1280-12801011161551-001012161549-00(I take my computer culture seriously even in my sleep.)

7 Responses to “Fuck a Fancy Bag Of Fuck Knuckles”

  1. Ugggggh on the texting chihuahua. I hope y’all manage to get him back in line and calmed a bit. It sounds like a freaking nightmare situation to be dealing with even without super anxiety baseline.

  2. is that a narwhal swimming in a beer? It’s funny but I feel like I’ve missed something. Among other things. Sorry you’re struggling.but I’m glad to hear your resolve. I love your heart, your soul. I hate the anxiety and the people who pick at you and make you feel worse. I hope you have a good day.

    • It was supposed to include text but got cut off somehow. It’s “spiked drink”. My sense of humor is weird.

      On Fri, Oct 21, 2016 at 5:38 AM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:


      • love your sense of humor. And, even though I’m home taking time allegedly “off” and have way too much shit to do today, I want a spiked drink, as long as the narwhal doesn’t try to stick that spike up my nose.

  3. I love your sense of humor as well. I dig the “keep your laws off my pussy” meme. It’s actually right up Trump’s alley. I’m going to be voting for Hillary, because at least I have a shot of some mental health help with her. Trump obviously couldn’t give two shits about anyone but Trump and I just can’t have that.

    The memory thing? Horrible. and me, too. I leave the oven on all. the. time. I leave burners on. Thankfully, we don’t have gas, although I wish we did. I’m glad you caught it before anything horrible happened.

    I think going to Mrs. R. is a stellar idea. I know you don’t want to blow up this friendship and she’s definitely the path to that.

    I hope that your shrink appointment went well!

  4. Reading your work is so refreshing
    I’m sure it shouldn’t be and that I shouldn’t be smiling but… lets not pretend that I’m normal because I have to do that every bloody day!

    Given you posted this, your laptop works
    You’re still alive, which in my case (given past weeks) is a miracle
    And you haven’t joined a convent and turned it to devil worship, yet

    So keep kicking arse and being a crazy bitch!


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