Last night was brutal on the sleep front. I tried for three hours to get to sleep, determined NOT to take a melatonin or my nightly (prescribed) 1 mg Xanax to aide me in sleeping. By 1:30 a.m…I broke. My spinning brain was killing me. I took .025mg Xanax and waited for that to kick in. Last I looked at the clock it was 3 a.m. and I was dreading the early morning alarm.

Shockingly, I actually got out of bed before 7:30 and had time for a smoke  before delivering the spawn to school. That is unusual as of late. Yes, it’s been so bad I can’t even bother feeding my habit before 8 a.m. And one would reason, well, you’re not getting enough sleep so of course, it’s hard. But then I get little sleep and am more functional. What the actual fuck. Is it the melatonin/xanax combo making it hard in the mornings? Or am I some freak who actually performs better on less sleep? I am an enigma even to myself.

So far this morning I’ve accomplished nothing but watching Aftermath. I am okay with this because yesterday I did stuff and while not stuff I should be doing…Whatevs. I am on this whole end of the world kick as of late so Aftermath is kind of rocking it for me. Because I see the writing on the wall with this current election. Change is coming either way and it’s not gonna be good either way.

Somehow, the end of things as we know it does not seem so awful. I would miss my creature comforts, like high speed internet and showering, but…Really, would it be so bad to be able to loot a big store for supplies without fear of arrest? Ya know, as long as you are armed and after watching American Ultra…apparently even a spoon can take out a man. I got spoons.

I can assure you, this is not mere gallows humor or escapism. I actually look forward to a change. Not the Gray State kind of change (which is more likely than zombies) but…Something’s gotta give in this country. Either we get a wealthy hypocrite criminal as our leader or a misogynistist elitist who knows fuck all about the average Joe.

Not seeing an upside to this other than getting Obama out and maybe someone will do away with the patriot act and Obamacare. (Couples are having to divorce just to qualify for affordable insurance, how is that family values, you sanctimonious jackasses?)

Oops, there goes a few followers for I mentioned political views. Maybe to lose a few more I will talk religion.

Another day. I think by posting this I will likely end up on a government watch list as a possible enemy of the state. Because ya know, wanting change, even in the form of brain eating zombies, is totally treason.

I guess all in all…this post is a waste of your time to read so sorry.

Then again..I’m not sorry. I put a plug in for the series Aftermath, the movie American Ultra, touched on the aggravating sleep disturbance common to bipolar disorder, and disavowed any allegiance to either political party.

Morgue, out.


6 Responses to “Pill-Less”

  1. I feel like you crawled in my brain and wrote this! I’m not going anywhere I like your thoughts!!! Feeling pretty shity today!

  2. You very well may be one of those people who functions better on less sleep. My hubby is groggy and lethargic if he gets more then 6 or 7 hours. I need 10. But, if you’re getting 6 and you’re up and functional, then I consider that a check in the win column.

    • Ten hours? Nope, not since my bombed on Seroquel and Trazadone days. I quit that routine long before my kid was born. Sleeping through life is more depressing than living it.
      But if it’s what your body needs… To quote a wise woman…more power to you 😉

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