Why Not Me?

Not to sound like an old Judds song but seriously…WHY NOT ME?

My nephew turned 18 today, got his driver’s license, then promptly sent me a text about how he had spent the day driving is mom all over the state capitol.

In true narcissistic fashion, his triumph sent me into a tail spin, wondering why, at age 43, I still can’t manage a panic free “I’m not lost” trip just the same.

It pisses  me off for I am independent. I don’t relish asking for help. I don’t like losing my cool.

Yet over and over, even with directions printed out from Mapquest…Every time I venture out of t0wn…I  end up lost and stunned by panic.

I am supposed to relish life, see hope…

Yet here I am, once again, trying so fucking hard only to meet with failure, ad nauseum.

“If you want it enough and try hard enough, you can make it happen.”

Not sure what offends me more, the fact that it’s a lie or it’s a lie I read on some rand0m mental health blog.

WANTING it to be true…and reality presenting you with the tools to make it true…

Two VERY different things.



One Response to “Why Not Me?”

  1. ‘If you want it enough and try hard enough, you can make it happen’ – I’d really like to believe that, but evidence is proving to the contrary in my brain anyway

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