Survival of the Sweatiest…Again

spook school

Yep. I survived “meet the teacher” night at my kid’s school, as well as taking her two friends to their respective class rooms. The devil girls were fine. MY devil was wearing flip flops on highly polished floors and running at mach 4.Nerve  racking to no end.

That school always feels so small and I sweat so much in it. It’s gotta be me right? IDK.

I also get uber socially uneasy when dealing with other people’s kids. Mainly because 2 years back I was accosted by neighbor lady who basically accused me of being after her man….simply because my kid played with her daughter and ONE TIME her man knocked on my door to ask if I’d seen their pit bull.

Nutsy fucking kookoo right?

These are my neighbors and this is my reality.

“She was nice to MY KIDS while I was at work? THAT BITCH IS AFTER MY MAN!”

I can honestly say, I have never eyeballed a neighbors’ man.

Frankly, unless your man has long hair and is wearing eyeliner, you’re safe, safe, safe.

Just gets old, ya know? I am overweight. I wear all black. I interact with no one. The only people who like me are kids who find  my macabre nature funny and appreciate my “warm and fuzzy” moments.

I am zilch threat.

If there was a truly (happily) disconcerting moment tonight…

It came when we visited A’s (the eldest devil girl) class room. I pointed out her desk and the teacher, told her to get a copy of the transpo paperwork for her parents…And then I was accosted, to my shock, by the adopted daughter of R’s eldest (yeah,Ursula, the psychologist, who said to being on call, “I don’t want to call this bitch back”) I haven’t seen this adopted kid  (Ch) in 2 months since we were last at R’s. But she saw me, remembered me, came up and hugged me…

Which just carries on my life long tradition-adults don’t much like me, but kids adore me.

Ya know what? I am ok with that. Kids are pure and innocent at that age. They don’t care if you are heavy or ugly or poor. They remember how you treat them, and how it makes them feel.

Gotta say…I feel way better that kids think I am awesome as opposed to some ADHD grown up who’d swap me for someone willing to smoke dope and “be cool”.

If that makes me some sort of freak…

So be it.

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12 Responses to “Survival of the Sweatiest…Again”

  1. Spanglish Jill Says:

    Aww, mini Morgue is super-cute! Is she looking forward to going back to school?

  2. You made it!
    And who needs assholey adults with their ingrained judgements when you have innocence and honest curiosity? I’m sure you needed that hug from Ch, you just didn’t know it 😉

  3. Honetly, I think kids are smarter than adults in whom they chose to like and trust… opinions less polluted by what is ‘right’ or whatever.

  4. Kids are good judges of character.

  5. Oh yeah, I did the back to school people-ing too. Mrs M dragged me along or I’d have cheerfully stayed home. To both schools. To all the teachers, whose names I’ve promptly forgotten. I wrote them down, it’ll have to be enough. The hallways were crowded, thought I would die, the schools are mazes with walls rigged to change. Mrs M hugged all of her friends who awkwardly looked at me as if I was going to hug them, or worse, if they were going to hug me. NOT happening. STRANGER! STRANGER!!! They must have picked up my vibe: I don’t know you people, keep your distance. I survived, and had a pretty tall glass of wine after. Not saying how big a glass, but not a little one. It would have been more entertaining if I had one before and after

    Jill’s right, your daughter IS super cute 🙂

    Mrs M is safe- my hair is short, I never did do my nails dark purple and black but I still want to, and who has time for makeup? MY dark circled eyes are NATURAL.

  6. Ok, first, Spook is sooo cute!!!!!! Second, I think that being like by other adults is overrated. It’s great to be able to have a close friend or two that you can talk to, but so often adults have ulterior motives. Kids and animals. If they like you, then you know you are a good person.

  7. If the first sign of the apocalypse happens and my corrupted bloodline is continued I would imagine ‘meet the teachers’ would go like this; “Do you ever use curse words around your child, they said something very interesting today” followed by “He\she has all the potential but is lazy in terms of doing the work” before ending with “Can you wait whilst I get the exorcist, I think your presence has just reversed the cross on the wall”

    Yes, I’m an optimist!

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