Not yet 10:30 a.m. on a Sunday and already I have fixed my kid pancakes, washed my dishes, started laundry, showered, and put on clothes I didn’t sleep in. Is it wrong to be exhausted already? Fuck a fancy bag, we’re in day 5 of 90 plus temps with 80% humidity. When you don’t have  AC….The heat just sucks the life away, as if I had much to begin with. It also makes me ten times more venomous, I’d give a king cobra a run for its money.

Two weeks without a post…One week I had flubola ’16. I thought I understood the concept of hunger. Until you’ve expelled every last nutrient and can’t even keep a saltine down so you’re weak and woozy…That’s hunger. I don’t do sick with any grace. My kid was sick at the same time so it was a lot of moping, dry toast, and fort blankie for us both. I fed the cats. That’s about all I did. One night I was so sick I laid in a cold shower trying to get my fever to break so I’d stop sweating and shivering. Not fun.

That went away. Enter shark week cramps. The kind that have me fetalized with a hot water bottle. The kind that reek of fucking labor pains.

The heat has killed off our newbie kittens. I did everything I could for them but…Feet’s first litter, first litters often don’t survive. Sick of burying cats.

R and I are having some sort of turmoil, his choice, not mine. He is all team Trump and after meeting the douchebag’s running mate, two steps removed from being a caveman, I said much as I hate Hillary and all her illegal deeds..I may register to vote for the first time in my life just to speak up and out against the republicans.

So of course R called me a moron and says I don’t understand Trump’s politics and I am abetting the Clintons in their criminal deeds…WTF.

This isn’t an election. It’s “how do you wanna die? Gun, knife, noose, you’re dead no matter what.”

I just have this thing for men who think they have the right to weigh in on women’s issues such as abortion. Especially this Pence guy, who’s so anti abortion he doesn’t even bend if the birth will kill the mother. That’s not having a platform, that’s being a fucking idiot.

R said it shouldn’t matter since I don’t plan on having more kids.

Maybe not. But I have a daughter and her right to choose is very much a matter to me. Not to mention, my maternal grandmother was 49 when she had my mom so there’s no saying I won’t find myself in an ooops situation where a doc advises termination due to birth defects from my age or taking my meds…

It matters. And I have zero use for a grown man who can’t agree to disagree. This isn’t junior high where I have to agree with the cool kids to stay relevant.

Bet I opened some cans of worms there, politics and abortion are no no topics. Which I don’t get but I think it’s because there are more R’s out there than there are mes, who is fine agreeing to disagree.

I think the Prisiq is helping. Not a big huge difference but compared to the Prozac…I think it’s got me on the rise. I want to try the 100mg bump next time I see the doc.

Spook was supposed to go stay at my dad’s this week for vacation bible school. She begged me not to make her cos she doesn’t want to be gone for a week. I informed my dad and like a little kid he said, “Fine you guys stay in X-town and I’ll stay in C-town!” Not very mature for a man pushing 70. She’s barely 7, of course she doesn’t want to be gone for seven days. So he’s pissed at me now, like I put her up to it when in fact…a week sans devil girls knocking on my door sounded pretty fucking sweet.

R is going to AA now. But still drinking. 3 24 ounce cans every single night. All the while preaching about how he hasn’t hit rock bottom like “those” people at the meeting, he doesn’t really have a problem. I wonder how those people who busted ass to get sober feel about his bullshit presence. He’s doing it to get the wife and kids off his back. But he still doesn’t think he has a problem, at all. I’ve been avoiding him when possible. I won’t feed his denial and I don’t like his arrogance. Silence is not a skill I have when calling people on their shit.

As for me…It’s too fucking hot to drink. I can’t even keep my bills paid because the post office delivers the child support whenever they feel like it so you can’t plan on anything. I am as disgruntled as ever but I maintain it’s justified.

Now…to do something different…a joke.

A middle school principal was getting complaints from her janitor about the sixth grade girls’ bathroom mirrors. The girls were trying lipstick and leaving a lip print, dozens of them, every day, and he was sick of cleaning it up. So the principal assembled the tweens in the bathroom with the janitor and said, “I want you girls to know how hard it is for him to clean off your lipstick.”

The janitor takes a squeegee, dips it in a  toilet, and wipes the mirror clean.

The girls never left a lip print again.

7 Responses to “Gun,Knife,Noose”

  1. Ok, the joke is hilarious!!!!! HAH!

    After hearing about the AA meetings and continuing to drink I’m actually starting to feel sorry for the guy. The amount of denial that you have to be in to go to the meetings, but continue to drink is ridiculous. I still don’t like him, but I’m starting to see how out of touch he is. He really doesn’t have a grasp on the shit going on around him.

    You know I’m super glad to see you post!


  2. Flubola ’16, was it worse than last year’s? Glad you and Spook feel better after that, considering the hot dome of death ’16 that’s sat itself over most of the country. Sorry to hear about Feet’s litter. That’s so much to handle with your fuller plate. As for R, I don’t know how you can keep your cool with him. Even more so since he is so far in denial. It’s sad for him.
    As far as politics…Pence really is an idjet of epic proportions. I didn’t vote for him, but I’m sure as fuck glad he’s not our govoner anymore and hope he and Trump go down in flames. I’m thinking of choosing the Libertarian candidate because the lesser of two evils isn’t an option for me.
    The joke was hilarious! Glad the prestiq is working. Maybe I’ll ask my NP about it.

    • It wasn’t as long or crippling as Flubola ’15 but it was pretty crippling in its own way. The big kicker was my dad ordering me to stepmonster’s bday cookout and me trying to explain we weren’t anti social, we were just still contagious.
      Special person to take YOU having the flu and making it about how rude you are to them.

  3. I am so happy you are writing. I’ve sincerely missed you.

  4. Sickness, Death, Sex, Violence, Politics and Jokes all in the same blog entry, holy shit what’s not to love? I bow to your awesomeness. 🙂 SOO glad you’re writing more.

  5. Two weeks… left in the room with all these happy types for two weeks without you helping me corrupt them all with depressive waves!

    I’ve changed my usual holiday job that has breaks, to working solidly in an environment where I have to be ‘social’, and yes me and ‘social’ can force a very rough partnership when required
    And I also have birthday depression putting my levels from purely ‘smash my head in with this mug’ to having to pull my will to live from the cliff, so I’m also doing it’s job too!

    Serious: Sorry to hear about your Cats ill luck and your illness, pleased to hear you are back to standard levels of feeling like crap and I’d take a friend in AA over my family most days!

    Funny: There is a blogger I follow who went to a bloggers party, and it occurred to me how much fun it would be to have us both there; we could be the only ones handing out anti-depressives after conversations!!

    On that note I will leave, I have an alarm to shout expletives at as my mood breaks from simmering rumbles to volcanic outbursts

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