As The Mood Swings

Rough night, courtesy of my sleep disturbance. I wrote about an hour then felt so sleepy and weary I climbed into bed. And scumbag brain kicked into high gear, smashing up all my little therapy voodoo mind tricks to calm down. I eventually took a melatonin. And an hour later I woke and by then the melatonin had worn off so…More tossing and turning. More nodding off, jolting awake. Up and down, clock checking, alarm dreading…The gray rainy cold gloom of the last three days does not have me leaping out of bed so it was a six snooze button morning…

The car didn’t go over 1k rpms, doing its flood and stall bit, so a normal ten minute trip to get my kid to school and get home took a half hour. Plus the smell of flooding gasoline was overwhelming. I was furious, because my dad acts like he handed me a damned chariot of gold, and R hasn’t done a fucking thing toward working out the problem in weeks. These people are gonna get me and my kid killed and I have every right to be agitated and pissed off yet they just invalidate me as a moody hysterical spoiled brat at every turn. I need to win the lottery and buy a real car. Of course, my idea of a real car is anything made prior to 1989. Though I wouldn’t turn down a Dodge Hellcat from 2015. Bet I’d hate it too, cos I hate this new automotive technology.

I am just in a hating mood. My allergies are kicking my ass, which they do every time I leave the fucking house. Yesterday I went nowhere and I was fine. Go figure.

Sunday was just a mellow day. At least until Spook’s devil girl friends showed up. I figured since it rained all day Saturday I’d let her play for awhile. Sooo much drama from that lot. Standard kid shit, telling on each other over every slight, asking for a bandage even though I’d just warned them they were gonna get hurt doing whatever they were doing…The demand for snacks and drinks. Then we’re cold, let us come in…So I let them come in, they demanded more food. I went to the bathroom and returned to find they’d ripped the cord right off her Frozen karaoke machine my mom spent a hundred bucks on. Not one of them bothered to apologize or tell me it was an accident. Devil girls got chastised, they decided to go pout outside, and my kid took her wrath out on me for running her friends off. Oh, and this was followed by one of the devil girls asking me to take them to the park and I said no cos it was so cold and she started crying like a toddler and her sister and my kid tried to guilt me for “making” the child cry. It was an epic fail on their part. I said, “Yep, I’m mean, I make kids cry.”

I went to do my mountain of dishes and left them to whine.

They left when it started to rain again and I thanked the sacred pegacorn. Of course, my kid wanted me to be her entertainment director which drove me nuts cos she’d just been entertained for four hours and I was trying to wash bedding and take out trash. She told me if I didn’t drop everything and play with her then I hate her. Drama fucking llama.

For my supper, since princess won’t eat real food, I, for the first time, made a sicilian roll. Former roommie and the donor both made one, but I never had. I found a recipe and ya know what…it turned out wonderful. Okay, so my meatloaf never looks perfectly formed and pretty but with the ham and melty cheese rolled into the meatloaf, topped with ketchup and a side of tuscan parmesan potatoes..Twas good.

Ten minutes after I was done I was like, that was a lot of work, fuck that shit.

Got my kid fed and bathed. Mood kept crashing. In spite of my elation at starting to binge watch Z Nation. Forget Walking Dead, I couldn’t get into that. This one I was sucked into and fantasizing about the zombie apocalypse. I mean, it’s perfect. I will either be dead, zombified, or all laws cease to exist so I can weapon up and start killing those fuckers. Win, win, win. Added bonus, no more psych meds manufactured so I couldn’t be med compliant and I might have a manic episode on occasion which would definitely raise my kill rate on the zombies…

No, I haven’t lost it. JUst some escapism.

I want to write. I need to go to the grocery store and clean.

I am gonna vegetate and hope the motivation magically appears.

Speaking of magical…I found this at the gas station the other day. Someone beat me to merchandising my pegacorn hybrid!

0430161717-00Though my pegacorns are anything but colorful and rainbow spewing. Gothicorns? Pegagoths?

Back to zombies. Life is too depressing. The zombie apocalypse seems like an improvement.


17 Responses to “As The Mood Swings”

  1. My girlfriend and I love Znation! I’m

  2. I never pictured the pegacorn to be all rainbow shit and fat. The pegacorn (Gothicorn is we must) is a stately beautiful creature, not that My Little Pony thing in the picture.

  3. Pegothicorns! (sometimes Emocorns follow em around but they always hang their ‘horn’ low toward the ground)

  4. I just saw on the side of the cup display it reads ‘Emo Friendly’ (‘Eco Friendly’) guess that’s for the Emocorns out there.*side note ~ lightning show here (raining like a sumabich!). I £0¥€ it but I gotta be out for the bus to appointment to bus & back from 930 – 1215 tomorrow. So rain, be done by then!

  5. andrewsaltarelli Says:

    Well. My basic position is. You can only be an artist if you think the the last 900 yeasr weren’t real. Which is only a problem, like, physically, with toilets, and drainages, and suckholes of all kinds.

    So funny, Morgue.

    Zip my lip. It’s like, nobody would ever talk to us, but they get all biplar and get curious: and….but….

    I just think that shit is SO funny cuts like, clearly, if there is one G, it is me, and I’m not convinced it’s a fucking realm.


    Because beyond the posturing.

    It would require some serous ass MLK. And. Nog relate to Transgendererd people. Or gay people.

    Like. It. Would.

    not relate to shit.

    is that the problem?

    Personally, I think it is is the problem

    Masssive misdiagnosis.

    Go back to 5 %.

    G back to 3%.

    G back to 1%.



    morgue and I are trying to sleep.

  6. andrewsaltarelli Says:

  7. Z NATION OMG I LURVE IT! Doc is the best! Florida calls me Addie. 10k, Roberta… Where are you in the binging?? Citizen Z. THE MURPHY. Omg omg omg reading that totally lifted my mood from sucks to sucks less.
    I honestly do not know how you handle those devil girls and NOT channel Satan around them. Kudos, but no bueno on the sucking away the sanity.
    I really should do laundry… REALLY… But i made dinner, so that’s a win, right?

  8. Too tired to comment properly
    Did a piece of art that says ‘slitting wrists’ but more subtle
    And having self loathing attacks.. Yer yer!

    Zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzz Bed calling, if only for work

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