Good Things, End, Blah blah blah

Had a good three day run with my kid not channeling satan.

And then today.

My big crime was taking the phone away from her so I could get enough bandwidth to use my internet. She was watching cat videos, I asked for her to give me twenty minutes before she went back on line, and snarlapalooza began. Fifty minutes of her screaming at me, calling me  a “stealer” (I don’t know that you can steal your own property back if you loaned it), stupid, and saying how much she hates me.

I did well ignoring it for awhile.

Then I wanted to make a point so I raised my voice without cause and asked her how it feels to be yelled at when you’re talking quietly.

She can’t draw even a six year old’s parallel to save her own life. On her planet, it is only her.

I asked her four times what she wanted for supper. She said nothing. I started to fix my own supper…Boom right when I am busy and need the micro for my meal to finish, she demands I fix hers NOW.

It didn’t happen. I fed her but she waited.

My stomach’s been wonky all day, after battling her, it went wonkier. I swear my mom gave me her flu because I’ve gone back to sleep the last two mornings without even meaning to, I just feel so achey and run down and the stomach agony…Ugh.

To top it all off I forgot that I agreed to look at R’s cousin’s computer and he’s biting at my ankles “if I feel well enough” which of course means, DO IT NOW…So once Spook finally left for her Wednesday church thing, I decided to tackle that computer…Except he failed to give me her password or a power cord. I had to text him, wait for him to text her, then I had to yank the cord from my  Dell computer, plus hook up all the peripherals…

And the damned thing is infested with malware, adware, viruses, and hijacked programs. I spent two hours on it but it’s gonna take probably three more to get it back to good. If you can call anything running windows 10 good.

Yeah, six hours of my time while feeling sick and battling my kid is totally worth a pack of fucking smokes.

I don’t think I agreed to do it for him, though. I am trying to stay afloat here and doing little bits here and there for others makes me feel less useless. Even if it does stress me out to the nth.

My kid’s been home 40 minutes and don’t nothing but fuss and whine since she got through the door. I wouldn’t let her stay up even later, bam, I am mean and don’t love her. I tell her I love her, she growls at me and says no, you don’t. I’ve already grounded her from the phone, from friends, and especially from the sleepover thing at mom’s. (Yeah that should be an entertaining call when they ask for her to sleep over, and I say nope, she called me stupid six times and screamed at me, she’s grounded, and they’ll deny they ever said she had to mind me and I will be an evil bitch trying to keep her from them.)

I am exhausted.

I had one good day. One good day in how many months. And now it’s all gone to shit and I can’t even think about writing because my brain is an omelet. The kid is still hollering. My stomach is still rolling.

If good things have to end with a dozen bad things kicking my ass…Keep the good days. Not worth it even when my brain is cooperating.

5 Responses to “Good Things, End, Blah blah blah”

  1. You are super strong. Yourr so much better than me. For real. If my kids even look like they’re thinking about disrespecting me all of the property they have is mine. And they have to earn it back. I’ve been told I’m strict though. So….. Probably shouldn’t follow my example (it gets great results though). I hope your belly feels better. I’m sure the stress can’t be helping it. The mind can wreak such havoc on our mushy bodies. I’m keeping you in my thoughts! And I’m going to say some prayers for you too.

  2. Windows 10 is the devil. Gimmie my windows 7 back! Even with Florida lovgging on remotely AND fixing it while he was here, it’s still shit. BUT, I have started to play eve. Yes, I am now a compete gamer girl when the kids have been fed, the house cleaned and all adulting completed.
    As far as brain omelets go, I prefer mine with turkey, cheese and peppers. Nothing spicy as is likely to cause it to suck in on itself and i just can’t deal with that. Is day we could try brain soufflé but with Spook, Monkey and NSLM yelling like fucking banshees, we are better off with lava cake brain. One of and the innards oooooooze out.
    Gather all the assfucks, it’s cage match time!

  3. Seems every time you post it’s about her. Wow. She sounds like a total handful. Maybe she seeks negative attention. Wonder what silent treatment w/meals would work with her?

    • Silent treatment is hit or miss. It can enrage her more or lead to her calming down. I never know which.

      I really am displeased that my posts come off as being about her as they are meat to be about the sum of my entire life and how dealing with anxiety and bipolar depression impacts it.

      Guess when my kid starts screaming and stomping it’s a trigger for me. ^Think I’d have a problem with anyone calling me stupid repeatedly at the top of their lungs.

      IDK, I know I am not at my best but I also know her behavior in reference to being told no is unacceptable. One day at a time.

      On Thu, Apr 7, 2016 at 6:15 AM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:


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