Weather Or Not

No, I did not spell that wrong. I have come to the conclusion that temperature and weather impact my moods as much as bad things happening or bipolar depressive shifts.

Yesterday was warm and sunny and I felt decent. Especially after writing 24 pages in my vampire novel that’s been stagnating while I battle ADD and depression and the stress of life. It made me feel ebullient to the nth to be warm, to be writing…

Then today. Cloudy, grayish, and cold. Splat goes Morgue’s mood and motivation. Add to it a full on assault by my allergies, bad stomach ache, headache, and lithium induced nausea as well as a painful spot in my neck where I slept wrong…Not having a good day. Not feeling so ebullient.

Weather can make a significant difference is all I am saying. I don’t think the doctors comprehend just how sensitive some bipolar patients are to weather changes.

I was supposed to go keep R company at the shop today, he’s freaking out cos business is so slow and he’s got taxes due and can’t cover them…I had every intention of going. Unfortunately, once I got my kid to school, I came back home, shivering, took an allergy pill and the next thing I know…it’s 1 p.m. Oops. I fucked up and got the “may cause drowsy” allergy pills. My bad. Though I think it was mainly my body trying to catch up since Sunday night I only got 3 hours of sleep. I was trying so hard not to take anything to nod off, trying so hard to tough it out and let it happen naturally…By 1 a.m. it became clear that wasn’t going to happen and I knew I had to get some sleep so I didn’t oversleep and make my kid late for school.

The later you take any sleep aid, the harder it is to get up in the morning. Least it is for me, even melatonin. I don’t do mornings anyway. Fuck that shit, let me send my kid to night school.

So yeah. Yesterday was good. Even got to talk on the phone to a good friend and that also cheered me up cos, ‘yeah, my interaction with fellow grown ups is pretty limited. I occasionally delight in talking to someone who isn’t babbling about Frozen, busted shit, or ya know, assassinating my character as my family is prone to do. Of course, that’s a double edged sword, cos some days my anxiety is so bad I literally cannot answer the phone. I’m fucked up that way.

Today sucks. My stomach finally settled but the nausea from lithium lingered for hours and I don’t like it a bit. I ate first, so it shouldn’t have happened. Ass trash. I am so cold I can’t get warm today which makes me want to do fuck all. As it is, I put on a long sleeved shirt and my heavy fuzzy pajama pants. (No, no, no, I am not turning the heat back on, the kid says she is fine so whatever it is, it’s to do with my temperature sensors being fucked.)

I have been ready for bed since I woke up. Some days are like that. Some days are like yesterday where I stayed up til midnight and felt pretty damned human. Of course, my allergies weren’t so bad yesterday. When it gets this extreme that I am tied to a Kleenex box and sluggish and miserable…That does put a damper on things. And prove that whatever this drowsy shit I bought is doing fuck all to help me. Back to other stuff. Unless my med resistant system had decided to ban all anti histamines, kind of the way it decides NO anti depressant can work for more than a few months.

So I am avoiding my family. I found this lithograph at a yard sale the other day, it was like seventy five cents or something. But it depicted one of the old time drive in restaurants and had all the classic cars parked and neon sign. My immediate thought was how much my dad likes stuff like that. So I bought it.

When I gave it to him, he barely glanced at it and waved for me to give it to his gf. No thank you, no nothing.

Between that and the lice chemical fiasco mom’s faction brought on…I need a good long break from the whole lot. Even though my kid keeps asking everyday to go for a playdate at mom’s. I know I am doing the right thing because she whipped out with, “(idget not related to us) told me if I am nice to you I can have a sleepover for her birthday.”

Um…No. I am the mother, you ask me. It is not up to idget girl. Who at age fifty really needs to get a fucking life and stop acting like my kid is hers. Not territorial, just not liking the usurping or lack of respect toward me.

Maybe I am ridiculous. Half the time they get me so confused and brainwashed I feel like I should have horns and a pointy tail cos I am obviously that bad of a human.

On a belated, happier note…Yesterday was Grumpy Cat’s 4th birthday.  Grump on, kitty.

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8 Responses to “Weather Or Not”

  1. I’m obscenely cold all the time…except for when I’m ridiculously hot. There is no middle. It’s probably some little known side effect of some med. Plus, the menopause doesn’t help. When you’re already down and then you get a shitty cloudy rainy cold day (or any combination) it just makes things so much worse.

    It’s horrible how disrespected you are. I’m waiting for Sass to get all violent.

    I did not know that Grumpy Kitty was so old. So cute!

  2. Weather has such a huge impact on my mood. It’s really hard to stay motivated as is without Mother Nature bringing you down. I’ll fall apart and just accept it sometime. In any case. Happy birthday to Grumpy Cat

  3. I too can relate to the weather factor but for me it is the opposite. I am photosensitive and the brighter it is the worse I feel over all but the first bad symptom (of several) is uber bitch mode, really irritable which is so very out of character for me. I really just don’t like being bitchy, I can’t have my near and dear hating me and i just don’t have that grumpy from waking up or lack of sleep thing. being rapid cycling I seem to have mania going on in some way.
    days like we look to be having today are the very best for me. cloudy, rainy not too cold.
    winter will usually suck pretty hard though with the super cold and the way the sun reflects so brightly off the snow. that is almost worse than summer sun.
    hope you guys get to summer soon. i feel like it is less of an issue now that i am so limited by my damn oxygen purse.

    • I am super sensitive to bright light, which is how every place I’ve lived gets dubbed my “crypt” by others. I can’t do the bright light thing inside. Outside it hurts my head but balances the mental gloom so at least there’s an up side. In my twenties, gloomy used to bolster my moods. I dunno, just glad it doesn’t drag you down. This shit sucks as we go into gray day one of a predicted 3 day rain fest. Ugh.

      On Wed, Apr 6, 2016 at 8:23 AM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:

      >

  4. Weather, love the rain, hate the sun (unless I’m at work)
    Summer baby who loathes sunlight…. Add it to the list!

    And even a good conversation at the pub ends up with me thinking I’ve burnt bridges, might be a social filter issue or the fact that attachments are bear traps ready to spring untold pain
    At least by burning bridges you never feel cold!
    Hope the sunshine gives you a shot of happiness, after the rain kills the allergens
    And fear Frozen 2!

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