Could we all just stop comparing the size of our boo-boos?

This post has been brewing in my head for weeks now. Finally…I think the words are going to come together coherently and cohesively.

We hear it constantly, especially those of us with mental health issues. “Be thankful for what you have.” “You could have it worse.”  “I have a mortgage and six kids, you pay rent and have one, who has it worse?” “Oh, you’re hyperventilating and feeling sad today?I have fibromyagiaverythingisbrokenomgnoonecouldfeelworsethanme.”

It’s only a slight exaggeration, face it.

The bottom line is…When things suck, they suck. It doesn’t matter if you are rich, thin, poor, obese, smart, dumb, have a lisp or are missing an arm….

Humans experience sucky things.

Life seems hell bent on invalidating anyone’s right to voice their struggle with said suckage. We are to silently embrace the suck. It could be worse.

Fuck, yeah, it could be worse.

But personally, I’m not gonna tell a POW, “Hey, at least they only hit you with the bamboo a hundred times today instead of a thousand, that’s something to be thankful for!”

SCREAM ABOUT IT. BITCH ABOUT IT. MOAN. WHINE. VENT. GROWL. GRUMBLE. GET IT OUT.

It is perfectly okay to say something sucks in your life. It’s YOUR personal experience. You are not competing with someone in Cambodia who does not have enough food for the week thus your feelings are invalidated.

It sucks when bad stuff happens to others, it especially sucks when it happens to us. And the best of us have the self awareness to know, without being told repeatedly, that it could be worse.

If we scramble around comparing our broken arm to someone who’s had a limb torn off by a combine…we will NEVER feel anything but miserable.

I read too many, and write too many posts, where the writer can barely get out their feelings without feeling socially required to point out, I could have it worse, thus invalidating their own situation.

The world, and society, so obsessed with its extremes, makes zero room for balance.

I think it’s fine to say, “Okay, my booboo is small enough to be covered with a band aid but if I am out of band aids, I have the right to say, well, fuck a fancy bag, this sucks!” Sure, the dude with the lacerated hand trumps me. So does the kid who needs an organ transplant, or the family that has ten people living in one room.

Someone will always have it worse than someone else. The balance is in knowing when you’re simply venting your feelings without saying, “My despair trumps all”.

We all have various sized booboos. Our booboos all hurt to varying degrees.

So how about we cut each other, and ourselves, some slack…And agree that it’s okay to discuss our booboos without it becoming a competition of who has more suck to embrace.

We all have valid feelings. We should not be forced as a societal norm to invalidate ours, or anyone else’s.

As long as in the course of venting your booboos remain aware, and retain perspective, on how others do have it worse….

I think it’s just fine to talk about your booboos. And I even have some spare band aids if you need one. Just let me know-neon colors or Minions.

 

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19 Responses to “Could we all just stop comparing the size of our boo-boos?”

  1. I appreciated your post. I have to take time to just get the junk out of me…like you said scream, yell, vent, whatever. Just get it out. Great post!
    Danny

  2. Amen. I hate when people say it could be worse! Like, isn’t what we’re going through hard enough?! Apparently struggling day-to-day isn’t good enough.

  3. I have a response to anyone who tries to “one up” my bad day/health/worry/etc.
    “This is not a competition I want to win.”

    People who are happy/healthy/rich/etc and say this “it could be worse” crap are big fat hypocrites. You know they don’t wanna hear that shit when they have a bad day….and i will stop there because i seem to be in a bad headspace suddenly.

  4. I am very familiar with the types of folks you speak of. I hardly ever complain. Usually I just take it in stride, smile, and go on with my day. But when I want to say how I feel there should be no issue. I don’t live on my pity pot, so what’s the big deal? I’m with you on this.

    • I grew up in a family where the status quo was “bottle it up” then eventually someone would explode, detonating everyone else…
      That’s why I believe in airing my grievances. Rather than let them fester via silence, I vent the steam and nothing explodes.

  5. Ye gods, yes! I’ve had more paraplegics who overcome all to win marathons thrown at me since my RA was diagnosed than I care to count. Sometimes people seem to want to one up me on pain; on my better days I recognize that’s probably because they’ve had their pain dissed, so I acknowledge it and listen to them. Can’t do that all the time, though.

  6. I love this post. I constantly feel like I shouldn’t complain. Others have it worse. blah blah blah blah. This isn’t about comparing ourselves to others, it’s about getting what rattling around in our brains out of our brains.

  7. Great post morgue

  8. I £0¥€ you! I’m trying to drag (or whatever) my carcass (again, for lack of words) outta where ever I am (cuz I dunno?) ?? Agree 1008764.2%!. People I interact with, purposely or not, whine about all their shit (*I ain’t judging mind you) I was brought up (in a good way), that if you don’t got a ‘pumper’ coming outcher jugular, you’re fine. I’m in (1000% honest, kid you not!) Mental &&& severe joint pain (psoriatic arthritis) & chronic head pain (mva). Bugs me cuz I don’t say a dammed thing, so they assume I have no pain & they’re *dying*. That pisses me off cuz “the squeaky wheel always gets oiled” NOT jealous, I’m just tired of hearing crybaby shit when I don’t even open my mouth, ,, I’m working on catching up reading ya stuff! ! ;-*

  9. ❤ you, ttyl I'm gonna drink some (a 40) of Camo beer 10.8%, drag my mofo ass outta here in the a.m. & see what kinda situation I land into at the brain FUCKERS! I'll letcha know on here or email :):

  10. not to resurrect something but thank you for this post. I didn’t know what to say when people said that shit, now I do. “You make me feel *invalidated* when you tell me my feelings don’t count because of [insert-reason-for-me-and-my-feelings-being-worthless-fuckery].” Thank you, this is another reason why I love you.~Deon

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