Can coming off anti depressants cause withdrawal symptoms?

OF COURSE THEY CAN.

We are legion, here in the blogosphere, what with our multiple diagnoses and medi-go-rounds. We know this to be fact.

It took doctors years to figure out their precious anti depressants do indeed cause withdrawal symptoms. Even today there some docs (like mine) who think a 5 day taper and a low dose sub of another SSRI or SNRI will ward off the all too familiar signs of withdrawal.

I am currently being humbled because, damn it, I took my last Cymbalta Monday and no major bad things going on, so hey…Kudos, Doc, the Prozac’s keeping up the slack, you were right.

Then yesterday, in the middle of fast moving traffic, I got hit with the all too familiar and ghastly….brain zap. That electric buzz somewhere deep inside your brain, like a joybuzzer pressed to your lobes instead of your palm. Random. Disconcerting. Sometimes mild. Often times a jolt that leaves you shaken to the core.

It got worse today. Lethargy, leaden-ness, hot flashes, cold flashes, feeling weak and woozy and ohhhh brain ZAP  a palooza. The noise made it so much worse.

I was also battling the car, having to put a gallon of water in it to get my kid to school, then a gallon to go pick her up so it wouldn’t overheat and fry.

R still hasn’t returned my text about the red car so I can assume this is his pouting way of telling me how busy he is. (If you’re too busy, just say you can’t do it, stop being an overachieving brat who blames it on everyone else when you’re the one who can’t say no.) Dad stopped by and was on me about it, too. Then I dared get animated and he told me to “calm down”. BIG MISTAKE. I am in withdrawal,  I am having random anxiety attacks, the weather changes have me all turned around, I can’t adjust to this time change….Nope. Do NOT deny me my ranting rights. Sure, R is doing me a favor offering to do the work. But I can’t get shit accomplished until it is actually done and I have the money for what is needed so…how am I not entitled to get animated and frustrated?

Ugh. Then my mom called and told me she’s spent about $150 on my kid’s Easter, got her a Frozen Bike and an Elsa helmet. And it’s like…yeah, my life is circling the drain and I am busting my ass but grandma will get all the credit cos she’s a fucking moron with money….Same shit, different day.

This was supposed to be a very short post. Damn it. Stupid brain won’t shut up.

I braved Aldi today, figuring I’d better grab food lest the brown car totally die and then I’d be out of food and reliant on a  family member (satan’s posse) to haul me around…I hate Aldi. Just…It’s wide open space, too many people, too bright lights…Just…NO. And had the internet not gone down (as it’s been all week off and on, fuckyouverymuch, tornado) I probably would have skipped it. I reiterate, when refilling ice cube trays feels taxing…A trip to Aldi, carrying it all out after shopping, packing it in, putting it away, then cursing cos you forgot something…

Call me weak but I needed a Xanax.

I have a lot of stress but I’ve needed more Xanax this last week than I did in the last month. I think that too is a symptom of this ass trash Cymbalta withdrawal. (Only one as bad was Effexor and they did that to me back when tapering was unheard of, it was cold turkey and I slept with a knife under my pillow cos I was hallucinating for a week.) I’ve come Xanax cold turkey and it was less grueling than brain zap city.

In what I hope was an act of good karma or at least not being a taker…During my hellish trip to Aldi, I lucked out as someone had left a cart with the quarter still in it thus saving me a quarter. When I returned the cart, though, rather than pocketing that quarter…I left it for the next person who might not have one on them for a cart.

No, I don’t expect to be nominated for sainthood. It was a small thing, but it reminds me amidst all this shit going on with my life…I haven’t deteriorated into a completely selfish monster of a human. Something nice happened for me, I paid it forward, so to speak. Well, I guess you have to be in my shoes and hear from your own family what a selfish monster you are (for being introverted) to realize even the tiny things help you feel better about yourself.

At last my spawn has dozed off and I want to do the same even though it is only 8:24 p.m. An hour earlier if you take out that time change. Which, for the record, in combination with the midwest’s mild winter yet cool spring….I’m ten kinds of confused. I have to set six alarms to get my ass up. That’s sad cos it wasn’t that bad back when I had to shovel snow and warm the car up.

Withdrawal.

Tomorrow should be fun. My dad is gonna meet me out at DMV (allegedly) so we can get all this paperwork done on the red car. But until R has the red car ready to roll, I am in this hellish holding pattern and dad wants to take the brown car with him once all the stuff is switched at the dmv to mom’s name. So basically I am gonna be on foot, at R’s mercy, and completely miserable.

As I muttered angrily yesterday looking under the steaming hood at a plethora of car parts, “I shoulda taken auto shop instead of fuckin’ home ec.” And I meant it. You can always spring a dollar or two for take out. Getting a car fixed ain’t that cheap or quick or easy. If I had learned this stuff, I wouldn’t need to rely on overbooked grumps….

Argh. The counselor used to say I sometimes only see in black or white but that all correlates to mood cycle. I see in shades of gray at this moment. I feel bad for R’s stress and for asking this of him when he has so little time. He’s not the devil. But ya know, at the same time…He wouldn’t be as kind to me. He wouldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt. He’d just dismiss me as being demanding.

So I don’t think I have trouble seeing gray, black, white, the whole spectrum. I think others have a problem doing it in return.

On that note…Prepare to faint…I WROTE A POST ON MY OTHER BLOG AND IT IS NOT ABOUT BIPOLAR!

Random As Fuck

It’s been most of my week so it’s kind of “funny cos it’s true but also sucky cos it’s true.”

 

Advertisements

7 Responses to “Can coming off anti depressants cause withdrawal symptoms?”

  1. Withdrawal from Cymbalta is one of the worst. That shit is horrifying. If it works, you’re golden, but once it stops. Ugh.

    Would it work better if you made everything in your dealings with your parents about Spook? Like, “I can’t give the car back to Mom until Jezebel is fixed because I need to be able to take Spook to school”. “I can’t spend the money on x, y, or z because I need it for groceries for Spook”. I have become masterful at the re-direct with my family. I can’t make anything about me because they are at the “everyone gets depressed, big deal” point with my illnesses and they are old enough that I probably won’t ever push the point. My explanations revolve around hubby not being able to take off from work, can’t leave the pets…whatever I can think of. Not lies. Truths based on Spook’s needs which they seem to care about intensely.

    • Works fairly well on family. On R…Nope. It’s been two days since I sent the text about the car situation and not a word back. Everything is at his leisure unless he wants it, then it best be done yesterday.
      Ya know, I wanna accept people for their flaws but this is the man constantly rejecting me for being bipolar so…I don’t know if I am ever going to “get over” the imbalance in being friends with him.
      Once again…should have taken auto shop.

      • An unbalanced friendship is so difficult to deal with. The part that sucks is that you need him for certain things (like the car).
        If we lived closer together, I’d send hubby over. He spent 20 years as a mechanic. 😦

  2. And there was me trying to be positive!
    Being a ray of sunshine it hurts me to see that you have such an outlook on this wonderful thing called life, I was just picking flowers in the meadow when….. Sorry, tried to keep it going but had to reach for a bucket!

    I fear the ultimate withdrawal, me having to come off Depression….. The horrors that would release
    I might have to enjoy summer, love, fluffy things (other than cats, they are just plain mercenary!) and maybe even…. happy songs
    The thought is too traumatic and I may quit writing this to slit my wrists a little!

    When I periodically see a doctor about my personality glitches I say ‘I don’t want drugs’ having seen them in (in)action, and also it might strip me of my famous dark humour… Or lack of humour depending on your view!

    Anyway, now that I’ve been so helpful to your plight I prescribe two ” There there, it’ll get better” and a “Look on the bright side”, or if you prefer a ” Fuck you world”and a razor blade (just don’t tell the doctors, cause they might get pissed off at me, I’ve already pissed off enough people, and how long do you reckon I can keep these brackets open for, with comas, lots of comas, and some more, and so on)

    Till the next my Dark Flowered Damsel, got to have drinks with a dragon, towns folk wanted me to slay him but the town’s full of A-holes so screw them!

  3. Turns out his ex lives there, just needed to talk it out
    And her house on fire in the morning… We kind of lost track about 3am so told him to stay scare!
    She left the fire place burning if you’re asked

  4. Celexa was BRUTAL for me both times I stopped it. Paranoia galore first time. This last time I was in Fogsville for over a week! No brain zaps luckily BUT eventing was super numbed. Like walking around with a bell over your face and shitty ear buds in your ears (they only block out enough to mature you go WHAT?!) and vinyl protective gloves on your hands. Poor Florida, took the brunt of it because I was in a daze and i couldn’t figure out how to tell him because I didn’t know myself.
    And the Zoloft withdrawal wasn’t that bad, but still noticeable.
    And we are already chastised for being “moody” then throw in the meds and we are now “overreacting” fuck you you fucking fuck. We just can’t stand idiocy. Much love to you woman

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: