Why I Want To Use You…For Your Social Network Connections

It occurred to me that I am currently having my third fundraiser in less than a year. Mind you, the first was in an effort to save our cat Abby (she passed, unfortunately.) The second campaign was after my mom’s house had a fire.

This time, because the campaign is about me and my needs, I feel a bit like a monster. Me, me, me, all about me. Help me, me me. The guilt sucks even when my intentions are necessary and pure. I’m the chick who could be on fire and I’d be too stubborn to ask a bystander to ya know, put it out for me. So this fundraising, asking for things…

It’s necessary but so many necessary things in life plain suck.

The reason I post my fundraisers to my blog isn’t because I think followers are wealthy. In fact, I know most of us are in the same broke ass boat because our brains betray us and many of us either can’t work consistently, can’t work at all, or can’t make enough to make ends meet. I am aware of this, I have no hard feelings, expect no apologies. It is what it is.

What so many of you DOhave that I do not are Facebook and Twitter accounts, which helps spread the word around and that can make all the difference.

“Okay, Morgueticia. If it’s okay for us to use our connections, why can’t you just get your own account and friends and followers?”

I tell few people the true story of that whole thing. It’s been 8 years and I still can’t quite force myself passed it. Call me a wuss, whatever. I will, however, tell the story so maybe *some* can understand. It’s not that I am “too good” for social media. It isn’t misanthropy or laziness.

Fact is, back 9n 2008 I met someone on line and fell head over heels. Like, sooo far gone. THe brain was just…delicious. All the big words used, the knowledge of cheesy 80’s music, the sarcastic humor that tickled ten funny bones…

Several weeks in “he” turned out to be a “she” or at least lived as a she.

I am all for accepting people as they are. But I fell for one thing and the thing that was “real” turned out to be quite the opposite of deep and insightful and intelligent. I was shell shocked, felt hoodwinked, but…I still extended an offer of strictly friendship cos it’s not fair to anyone if only one person is content.

Unfortunately the friendship wasn’t enough for this person and the more I talked to their “true self” the more I realize…it’s not a gender thing, at all. It’s a connection thing. It simply wasn’t there as the differences between who they presented as turned out to be so very different from who they saw as their true self.

Suffice it to say…I was accused of being rejecting, unaccepting, et all. This after weeks of having them mock my bipolar and me taking meds and me discussing “banal” things like my family and…You get the picture. It ended very badly, even resulting in this person I still cared for even if only as a beloved friend calling me a wellfare freak for being on disability.

That entire thing fucked my head up. Soon after, I shut down all social accounts, especially the one that lead me to the roommate who introduced me to the donor. Eight years and wordpress is the most I’ve done, swapping comments and emails.

I cannot risk being so hurt again. That internet person hurt me far more than the men I married. If wanting what was presented as fact makes me a rejection bitch, so be it. I’m not gonna order a Porsche then drive off in a Yugo. You present as this, you damn well be just that.

And so there you have it…That’s why I don’t do social media. I guess I was that traumatized or some shit. I can’t put myself out there like that again. Not now,maybe not ever again.

So when I post here about the fundraising campaign…I know we’re all broke. But if even twenty followers who visit my blog a week were to pass on the fundraiser link on social media…Do you see where I am going with that? Word of mouth can be a wonderful thing.

And yeah, I feel crappy for asking. I should just get a job (yeah, that’s my next post, looking for an employer who has “moody” as required skill), I should do this, that. Hell, if anyone out there has a job I can do from home and work around my mental issues…Bring it. I don’t mind work. As long as it doesn’t result in me having (another) nervous breakdown.

This is my reality, in case you’re wondering if I am some spoiled brat living in luxury and whining for donations.

Digital Camera

my kid and our current dented rust bucket that dies at every stop sign

Digital Camera

This is our castle…or what someone a show the other day called, “tornadoes should be God’s Way of being told to stop being trailer parks.”

(That missing piece of siding there is where I crawled under to get to the cat whose babies all died. I haven’t had the heart to put it back up.)

So…this is my story. THis is my reality. If you use social media…Help out a single mom by spreading the link around.

ProjectSingleMom

And because you (hopefully) made it this far through my psychologically wounded tale…Something funny. Unless swearing squirrels offend you, then you probably won’t find it funny.

 

 

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18 Responses to “Why I Want To Use You…For Your Social Network Connections”

  1. Love that! Squirrelly wrath!!!!!

  2. […] Why I Want To Use You…For Your Social Network Connections […]

  3. It’s it wrong that Monkey (AKA Sauron via autocorrect) watch Foamy? *I’m so so so sorry you had to experience that kind of assholyness. It wasn’t you, it was the person. Do you see the pattern of narcissist? Sorry, Sass is deep from no morning meds on board and fasted for blood work.*

    • I let Spook watch some of the Foamys as long as I have seen it first. I don’t worry about bad language warping her, but all the flying spooge…Well, I want her to have a healthy view of sex, not fear it 😉

      On Tue, Mar 22, 2016 at 8:48 AM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:

      >

      • I’m afraid to say that Monkey had seen worse in movies than she has from Foamy. I am partially to blame for that but I worry not about her being afraid of sex or if having sex, but being so desensitized about it that she will not see the emotional connection you can have with someone (I told you I’m deep this morning! Meds are finally on board though)

  4. I gave up on shielding Spook from language and sex talk when she came to me one day and told me her friend Jamiah asked her if she wanted to have sex.
    Jamiah is a 4 year old girl.
    Nothing she can learn at home is worse than what her little friends and school mates are telling her.

  5. Reblogged this on Normal is out there and commented:
    This post is from a friend in need. Anything you can do to help her is extremely appreciated even if it is just to reblog. Thank you everyone!

  6. I would dearly love to help you. But I am a recluse in real life and in social media. WordPress is all I have to offer. It gets worse. I live in South Africa and so my money has no value in the rest of the world. What I can do is reblog your post and spread the word. I hope your campaign is a great success

  7. Reblogged this on Pieces of Bipolar and commented:
    It only takes one person to make a difference in another’s life. So if you, that one person, could please step forward? THANK YOU SO MUCH 🙂

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