Socially Selective Versus Anti-Social

Let’s face it. I watch way too much true crime TV shows. Deadly Women, 48 Hours, Dateline, 20/20, Deadly Sins, Behind Mansion Walls, Forensic Files, et al. It’s not an obsession so much as a psychological interest. If you think about it…What does make a person snap? We with mood disorders are considered “crazy” yet a large percentage of those who have committed murder…do not have an underlying mental condition aside from personality disorders. It is interesting for me, with my cornucopia of diagnoses, my fucked up family and upbringing, and some of the shit hands life has dealt and yet…I’ve never hurt anyone physically. So what causes the line to be crossed if it isn’t simple mental illness or bad nurture?

Most Evil claims it’s often a trifecta of brain injury, mental illness, and a traumatic upbringing.

And the number one shared diagnoses of almost every serial killer…”anti social personality disorder”.  I find this a complete misnomer. As the douchebaggery simpleton manual is constantly evolving, the terms we’ve long known evolve as well. Anti social is no longer synonymous with being a loner or shy. It literally means that you hate society and think you are above it, that the rules don’t apply to you.

So I want to banish the term “anti social” as it is applied to me by my own mother and society as a whole, simply because I am “selectively social”.  I am a loner. I’ve never killed anyone or bombed anything. (And FYI, most serial killers are known to own/carry a copy of Catcher in the Rye and that book bored me into a coma. Just saying.)  I have to make choices based on my mood cycle and anxiety level as to how much social contact I can handle. Some days, I am a whirlwind and feel like a badass. Other days I feel sad and nervous and meek and can barely handle a cat meowing at me, let alone hold a conversation with a person. If overloaded with stimuli, especially social, at that time, it can cause a downward spiral. I make an informed and intelligent choice not to put myself into a position that makes splat inevitable.

This does not mean I hate society. (My misanthropy is aimed solely at mean people.) I do not think I am better than anyone else. I believe the rules apply to me same as everyone else. I do not view murder as “ha, one more asshole dead, good.” While I do have a “fuck you” attitude and I am a rebel…it is never aimed at anyone specifically but at notions I find offensive or cannot grasp.

When able…I have friends. I go to cook outs, drink wine, watch Dr Who and such. I go out, do things. Talk on the phone.

I simply cannot help that my disorders give me limited resources so I have to be socially selective. In this case, “It’s not you, it really is me.”

Unless you’re a mean person who tortures animals in which case I hope you die screaming.

(And I make no apologies for that statement even if it makes me a bad person. I have lines that cannot be crossed and cruelty to animals or children are it. PERIOD.)

So in closinganti social is OUT. My brother in law hates the world (he got fired once and signed his final paycheck “fuck you” but couldn’t figure out why they gave him a bad reference) yet he will have four to five gamer friends over seven nights a week. HE is the epitome of anti social all the while being very social.

Those of us who have limited resources and choose to be selectively social…It’s not a disorder. It’s just survival.



8 Responses to “Socially Selective Versus Anti-Social”

  1. Haha! I absolutely love your view on ‘anti-social’ because you are so right! I will banish that word as well. 🙂

  2. And its not even survival of the fittest anymore. It’s survival of stupidity, idiocy and the moronic. That’s public indecency!

    • Maybe we should be allowed to hand out citizen citations for “indecent exposure to stupid”.

      • I think that’s a great idea! If people can make a citizens arrest, why not citizen citations?

        On a side note, if you can find it, you should watch “Z Nation”. The character with the major plot line is so sarcastic we need him in the “Sarcastic Six or Seven”

  3. Anti-social is a term my family throws around freakishly lightly, we have an alarmingly high standard for ‘fucked up’ outside of breaching the laws of common decency so terms like that are more inline with what most folks regard mild curse words
    Anyone who reads my work may notice I even rejoice in negative associations and freely admit to been fucked up!
    As is my internal compass a tad eschewed!!
    But I do admit that better terminologies are out there to explain personality glitches, so I do concur with your wisely informed words
    Great write with a socially Selective edge!

    • Oh, I love being dysfunctional, rebelling against the norms, etc…Just get bent when terms are used indiscriminately. I may be bitchy, dark, pessimistic, etc but I do not think I am better than anyone else and I don’t really hate the world so…anti social does not work for me. If labeled…I want it to be based on a kernel of fact.
      I put the fun in dysfunctional so that one I own, lock, stock, and barrel.

  4. Love it Morgue…I can definitely reclassify myself as selectively social. Anti-social, as defined by the douchebaggery simpleton manual, sounds suspiciously like narcissism.

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