Put Your Sane Mask On

(Yeah, that title sounds way more badass put to the tune of Wednesday 13’s “Put your Death Mask On.)

The spawn is deposited at school, I am pilled up and waiting for the results of the lithium lottery, and my pretzel gut is twisting because…I get to serve time in the petri dish today. Yay. And by yay, I mean, I still haven’t recovered from last Friday’s panic inducing four hours in the dish, heeeeellllp.

But it’s a trade off. I need minutes on my cell phone. R needs a monkey to fetch his lunch and keep him company. The barter system, 2016 style. I must wonder if I wouldn’t have fared better sixty years ago when I could have traded for eggs. Damn, when did a dozen eggs get so expensive? Yes, my warped little brain thinks of these things.

I digress. I truly am feeling…well, that anxiety you feel when you know you have to repeat something that previously triggered you and left you overwhelmed for days. Hopefully it won’t happen again. I should load up on Xanax. Cos the first six pills weren’t enough, let’s toss in two more. Pfft. Whatever moron thinks mental illness is made up and we take these pills for fun is a cockweasel.

I accomplished something yesterday that I’ve pondered doing for weeks. Yesterday it came together. I moved the laptop with the shattered screen and the monitor over by the kitchen shelves. Now the cats won’t fuck with it too much, my MagicJack works again, and if I get desperate I can put the spawn on neopets or youtube and let them babysit while mom has a meltdown or how dare I, want to go to the bathroom for three minutes of peace.

I TV binged yesterday. As always, “Lucifer” was awesome. It’s such a funny quirky show. The title alone probably has puritans hiding in their basements but it’s a good show. The Flash blew me away. Saving Hope’s finale blew me away and has left me in suspense. I watched “How To Get Away With Murder”, which has become a big bucket of what the fuck and I still like it.

Blah blah, this is just one of those inane posts which reeks of my anxiety for today’s outing and tomorrow’s jaunt to the courthouse where I will have to be in the presence of true sociopathy.

Mom had her biopsy yesterday but they told her it will take a week for the results to come back.

(I am watching a documentary on Jack The Ripper and apparently, back in that time in England, “she was a gay woman” had nothing to do with sexual orientation, it meant “nymphomaniac. Interesting.)

I guess mom went off on dad the other day, screaming about how that car is still in her name and she was ranting how the donor is going to take Spook away cos he has a better address and stuff. She’s freaking out more than I am. The donor doesn’t really wanna fuck with me or I will dredge up every sore psychological issue he ever confided in me. He would do the same to me. I may not be well off and I may have my issues, but nowhere on my record will you find a forcible commitment for slitting one’s own wrists. And that is not mocking those who attempt suicide or succeed, I am just saying…if a fancy address makes one a fit parent, then I think an attempt on your own life counter balances it because not once in my miserable existence have I tried to off myself.

Okay. I am gonna watch Arrow, chainsmoke a few more, then force myself to get dressed and go play monkey in the dish. Hope my enthusiasm and optimism aren’t overwhelming you.

For fun…This is what my mom got me for V’tines. Sasquatch and I are planning a fall wedding.





6 Responses to “Put Your Sane Mask On”

  1. I will definitely be wanting an invitation to that wedding!!!!

  2. Black on black for the color scheme? At least with him you won’t have to bother shaving.

  3. I would like to exchange emails with you if you’re willing. I want to wish you peace and strength, luck, a lawyer that works FOR you, and a successful court date ❤ xoxo

  4. ****I GET TO BE THE (slutty little) FLOWER GIRL! Hahahaha!

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