Bugged Out

Day two of feeling unsettled.  My skin is crawling with anxiety. I am trying to watch The Flash, normally a guilty pleasure I relish. The anxiety is so high today, I can’t even be distracted enough to enjoy one of my favorite shows. I have no explanation for the anxiety. The professionals always want a reason, want to know the trigger and some days…There’s neither. Every inch of my skin itches like I am on Fear Factor and in a tank with a million bugs crawling on me. It’s so disconcerting. Panxiety is settling in, and that is the cruelest insult of all. When I am robbed of the comfort of my safe bubble at home because whatever in my brain has decided to misfire and turn my nerve endings into a mosh pit from hell.

It was gray and hazy when I woke up. (Damn is it hard to get out of bed during the seasonal depression.) I stumbled through making my kid’s sack lunch, feeding the cats, doing a checklist to make sure she was wearing pants and didn’t have pudding smeared on her face. Got her to school but now I just sit and wait for them to call with some ailment de jour. Kid gets a hangnail and it’s a national tragedy and I blame my crazy ass mother for creating the medical drama llama child. If I hauled the kid to the doctor every time she cried “illness” I’d be up on charges for Munchausen by Proxy.

I am still irked from last night. I took my Restoril, then waited for it to kick in. Just as it started to…R invades, wanting me to find a pegacorn (part that’s not readily available) and it’s like, motherfucker, do you know how hard it is for me to get to sleep and now I gotta turn around and do it again? Polite people don’t call after ten p.m. R is not polite. Nothing exists outside his needs. So thanks to him it took me another hour to get back to sleep.

I guess if you want optimism, I took my lithium and haven’t started gagging yet. Yesterday I was not so lucky. It works like gangbusters on the bipolar but this “will I puke” lottery with the twice a day dose…Sucks.

And in another “Positive” topic…I mentioned how my cat Voodoo came back home after being gone for six months…So I wanted to show off my boy. He only has half a tail as he comes from the bobtail line. He loves to nose butt and head butt lovingly. Last week Spook gave him an award for winning the “butthead” contest. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants and explained to her she kind of had it backwards….

Mr. Voodoo


11 Responses to “Bugged Out”

  1. I wrote a post yesterday about being unsettled it sucks and your not alone

  2. I suddenly thought – I really hope that your talents at writing are some kind of comfort/consolation for you somewhere along the way. Because, Ms Wordsmith, you gots skillz.

    • You have no idea how much it means to have my writing acknowledged this way. Everyone and their dog thinks they can write well enough to blog and sometimes I start feeling inept.
      Thanks for giving me a little confidence in my writing.

  3. See, THIS is why I love you and Spook, and I agree with Ms. Blah, you gots skillz. All my friends are fucking awesome, and many of them don’t see the truth like I seez it. Praying for your panxiety to “simmah dah nah!” DM http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81958481/

  4. Gods, R is a twat. Every time you write about him, that’s the word that comes to mind: twat.

    Voodoo is gorgeous. ❤

    • Mr. Voodoo says “Thank you, I know I am stunning and studley.” (He was trying to mate with another male cat the other day, intelligence is not inherent to beauty.)

      As for calling R a twat…My mom always called our privates “a twat” so I am not thinking my ladytown deserves a comparison to his Assholiness.
      He really hates being called idget so I use it frequently.

  5. Either I’m blind our your font is too small. I feel the exact same way; tons of pills and declining physical and mental helath. Matter of fact, I’m beginning to dissociate when I take my meds and have taken them twice five times in the last two months.

    • You are not wrong, the blog font is too small. Unfortunately I haven’t redesigned it since I started it 4 years ago. I am too scared of messing it up.

      I need “wordpress design for dummies”.

      On Thu, Jan 28, 2016 at 6:42 AM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:


  6. Ugh Panxiety IN the house??? That’s just wrong. And R needs to get a grip. I think you’re generous with rude to call after 10. Here it’s rude to call after 9!

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