uncle uncle uncle uncle uncle uncle uncle

I Now have arrived at that point in the cycle where the tiniest thing can tip the scales into the abyss…

My kid has been a disrespectful ungrateful demanding beast for two days, not cutting me any slack. She’s criticized me as much as my shit family does.

I am trying to chisel away at housework, knowing no matter how much I do it will never be good enough, never get caught up from all my tumbles into depressive inertia…I am breaking out in  hives from anxiety.

Do you hear me world? I am SCREAMING UNCLE.

Now back the fuck off and let me have some breathing room before I start stabbing myself with sporks.

All the meds I am on, it’d fucking eat through the sporks, plastic or metal.

And there’s another one. How can anyone be on THIS many heavy duty meds ands still be so distressed?

I feel exhausted to my bone marrow. Hopeless. Kicked in the head. Beaten down.

And yeah, spare me the phoenix references. Appropriate as they may be for bipolar cycles…

I am to the point where I simply don’t want to rise up from the ashes in more. I just want to find some peace and cling to it with claws and teeth.

Leave me in the ashes, please.

Stupid depressive  cycle has me sounding like a drama llama, bloody hell.

Fuck it. I’m taking Restoril tonight. I can’t stand much more conscious time with all the neurotic thoughts flogging me.

 

 

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8 Responses to “uncle uncle uncle uncle uncle uncle uncle”

  1. I am sorry morgue, love and peace to you ❤

  2. This doesn’t mean much or anything to you right now…but you are loved. I’m not fucking around. Keep going. Take it one step at a time.

  3. Love ya Sissy! This SUX!! 😦 HUGS!

  4. I’m sorry your kid is not being conscious to how you’re feeling or recognizing the housework that you have done. 😦 I hope you are able to relax at least a little soon! Thinking of you….

  5. ❤ Wish there was something I could say or do to make it better.

  6. We’re standing here with you Morgue. We get it and we love you. You’ve have so much on your plate right now that it’s no wonder you are breaking through your meds. I hope that the Restoril did it’s job.

    Big virtual hugs

  7. I really wish the motherfucking sporkiverse would give you a break.

  8. Love to you and all of everyone else who wants to encourage you. Make sure the sporks are always pointed away, unless they’re bringing you something good. I wish I were your uncle in my own private fantasy. If I were your uncle in my fantasy world, I’d be your rich uncle and I’d bring you birthday presents and cash and after your approval, send various humoresque, vitriolic and sardonic “fuck you” cards with springloaded rusty sporks to all the fucktards who make it worse for you. But then, you know that.

    I hope your meds do their job and help you through.

    And I wish the sporkiverse would quit that incestuous thing too and give you a break.

    You deserve good things and I’m praying you get only good things.
    DM

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