How Does One Bowl For Soup, Anyway?


Not a huge fan of that band but they have a few songs I like. That one just made me laugh. I always thought if someone wrote a song for me, it’d be called “The Bitch Song.”

Liceapalooza seems to have been kicked. For now. I took her to school and they checked her head over. Which means for the first time in three years, I have managed to get the lice problem beaten in a day whereas it used to take a week. Viva mayo and shower cap and Robicomb. Of course, knowing my kid, she will have it again in a week because she stashed some stuffed animal and reinfests herself.

I handled it without clawing my eyeballs out, how amazing is that! And all while battling shark week. I think this lithium is a magic wand for hormonal mood swings. Not so much as a tear or major anger tantrum during the whole process.

R asked me to come in today if she went back to school. I haven’t mustered up the give a damn yet. He’s practically ignored me and all but let me go without smokes or gas for the last six weeks wifey has been off work. Fuck him and his needs. I NEED a couple of hours not hearing “mommy mommy” and a bunch of whining. I NEED to not be doing freaking laundry for an hour or two. I need to not have to cater to the whims of another for a few hours.

I hesitate to mention this as it could be a fluke or this could jinx it but…after she zonked last night, I sat at my desk and wrote TWELVE pages of fiction. It’s the same story I’ve been working on since ’08 but whatever. I WROTE. It made me gloriously happy. I even took a break to watch the new Flash and still was able to go get back into the pocket to write. Fuck me, this is like, miraculous, like the Virgin Mary on a piece of toast.

I doubt it will last. I am so nervous about this court hearing. For all his uselessness, the donor still has the power to make me doubt myself at every turn. As if the bipolar and anxiety don’t have a stranglehold on that one. There’s this paralyzed part of me that fears he’s going to pull some stunt trying to get custody just to avoid paying support on her. He always did rail about the moms spending “his” money frivolously. He has some serious issues with women.

And I have serious issues with dumbasses.

I wouldn’t put it past him to try and use this blog against me as slandering him. He did my old blog, which I took down and I never did link it to this one but I kept the same user name…I’m sorry. I don’t use real names. I don’t give exact locations. I am just one more random internet person spewing my mental drivel. And slander is only viable if something isn’t true. Not paying a cent of child support or even mailing your kid a birthday gift is the very definition of being a sperm donating deadbeat.

I just want it over with. For fuck sake, it’s my birthday Friday. I don’t celebrate but at the very least I shouldn’t have to lay eyes on that…that…whatever the fuck he is.

He reminds me of our cat Nightshade. Bitch has had 23 kittens in three years and only two have ever survived because she doesn’t want to be bothered with them and they starve. She, much as I love her, is a bad mother and a deadbeat, too. My opinions are for everyone who does the same bad deed, he shouldn’t consider himself special.

See, I’ve already wasted time ruminating over “it” and it’s more of my time than he deserves. It’s not about us anymore. It’s always been about our child.

Part of me giggles when I think of him getting visitation with her. He thought I was a loud mouthy stubborn bitch…Muhahaha, Spook is gonna eat him alive. Oh, no, she’d get food poisoning.

I am a bitch, I own it.

Ugh, really not feeling the “go be around people” thing. It would be super helpful if R ever told me what it is he wants of me. Cos if it’s just hanging out cos he can’t stand to be alone and I don’t even get a pack of smokes out of it…Leave me the fuck alone.

That always drove the donor nuts,my “what’s in it for me” quid pro quo streak.

I think for those with depression and anxiety, it’s a legit mindset. We constantly have to weigh gain versus what it will cost us mentally and sometimes, the gain simply doesn’t trump the cost. People are my kryptonite. I avoid. There has to be something I need in it for me to battle the dish dwellers.

Maybe I am a shitty person that way, IDK.

Onto more important things…


And is it chicken noodle soup or that nasty cream of broccoli? And do I have to rent some funky icky looking shoes? And those bowling balls are just too damn heavy and unwieldy…

Fuck it. I’ll let the band bowl for their soup and listen to “Girl All The Bad Guys Want.”

Call me when we’re bowling for McDonald’s french fries. I’ll be there with my footed jammies on.


7 Responses to “How Does One Bowl For Soup, Anyway?”

  1. it’s the $0.40 ramen soup XD

  2. Congratulations on getting some writing done! I’m happy for you

  3. The Bitch Song. Challenge Accepted! check back.

  4. I’m a Theory of a Deadman “Bad Girlfriend” kinda chick.

  5. I used to bowl alot, now I prefer a bong LOL! I’m with Sass, I like ‘Theory,,, Deadman’ Bad Girlfriend too. Yay on the writing!! ;*

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