Poor People Skills or Limited Bullshit Tolerance?

That is Tuesday morning’s question.

No doubt I do have some social skills that are lacking but I am not convinced that’s my fault or even outside the norm for introverted loners.

No, I think my biggest problem is…People are so full of shit and my tolerance level is very low.

Last week when all the family and “cool friends” were so busy and scared of being infected R was all up in my face, needing this and that, oh thank you, blah blah blah. Then wifey returns, his daughter’s about since he is no longer contagious, and I oh, he’s so busy, he forgot to return my text.

what the actual fuck?

By the way, if you do this to people cos your cool/really important friends are busy…you suck. If you do this because one of the cool friends are mad at you and you’ll just use whoever is around…you suck.

But it’s the story of my life. I have always been second best, always the consolation prize. Not being big on socializing it’s not really been a mortal wound. It does, however get old, to feel used and discarded. I wasn’t freaking out about  being exposed to further sickness in spite of my near three week bout of praying for death. No, I wasn’t too busy or making excuses. I was right there, being me, who happens to be a semi decent person.

Dismissed. Cool kids are back now, go away, minion morgue.

I get agitated when told this is some sort of low self esteem issue. Because what sane person wants to be used? Who gets off on being used then discarded? Is this a thing I don’t get because I have low self esteem? Seems to me that being used and discarded repeatedly explains the low self esteem. If it ends up making me feel shitty every single time, then obviously it’s not healthy, whether I am a narcissist making out with my own reflection or filled with self loathing.

There was a couple year stretch where I got so sick of the being used cycle, I shut everyone out. Even quit talking to my own dad for a year cos they expected the single childless adult daughter to drop everything at all times to babysit their kid. Nope. Quid pro quo, I got no problem with.

Is it cool if I call you at 3 a.m. wasted off my ass, talking smack, then pretend the next day it never happened and play it off like YOU’RE nuts if it is mentioned?

You’d be alright with me letting you come over, bring foods and meds, not pay you back, puke on your shoes, and then not speak to you for two weeks later cos your “real” people are back, yeah?

It would be absolutely fair for me to expect you to drop everything, drag your kid out in the cold at night, and keep me company so I don’t have to be achy and all alone, right?

I don’t think people view it this way. It’s like everyone’s a born telemarketer. “Oh,am I interrupting your supper? Well, I’m doing my job…Oh, you’re busy now and you want to call me at home and interrupt my supper? No, that’s not cool.”

I just have this hot button with people who make me feel used. I guess that’s my issue. But I’m NOT second best and I am sick of being made to feel that way.

So maybe it’s time I stop being a welcome mat, even if it deeply offends me that people are such assholes they think being kind means wiping their feet on you. Maybe the next time I am needed I won’t be so available or amenable. Maybe I will be far too busy staring at the wall or snuggling in fort blankie.

Some people need to learn you get what you give.

And some people are going to be in for a very rude barbwire shovel awakening.

Not that it will change a damn thing.

People equal shit for the most part, Slipknot nailed that one on the head.

I still have hope for a couple of random souls out there who might see their own behavior and make a positive change.

Oh, fuck, who I am kidding. The cats don’t read my blog. It cuts into their grooming time.

 

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12 Responses to “Poor People Skills or Limited Bullshit Tolerance?”

  1. The cats don’t read you blog…I love it!

  2. I’m guilty of this. When up, rudely interrupt, breach a barbed wire dildo fence to make a connect. When down, shut and shun. You’re depressed but also consistently kind and generous. Depression plus kindness plus generosity plus America 2016 equals shitty deal.

  3. People suck. The more years that pass by, the more suckary and douchebaggary appear.

    How are you liking AHS thus far?

  4. I have a very low threshold for bullshit. That said, I’ve been told I’m full of it. Does this mean I hate myself? Shut down and shun, I do the same, because fuck everyone else’s selfish agendas and (selfish) expectations.

    Don’t let ANYONE step on you for any reason. Users suck. The next person who wants to step on me… I wouldn’t want to be that person. I gently used my horn when someone did something selfish at my expense today, and I’ll do it again tomorrow, fortunately I was being alert so as to not get hit. But fuck them too. Selfish people make me so exhausted. I have to be so careful, get things in writing all the time… I’m just tired.

    Of course the cats don’t read your blog. They read your mind and are sometimes glad and sometimes frustrated that you don’t read (and obey) theirs.

  5. That born telemarketer analogy? That’s genius that is.

  6. You know, if it weren’t because you can work for some perks and he’s helped with stuff in exchange for errands and all, I would have long told him where he can stick his greedy fucking ass. Which would be in the new Barbed Wire Blender Extremo Max.™ Throw anything into the blender. I do mean anything. Or anyone. He’s shown he can be there in cases of crisis, but what he pets you with one hand while slapping you with the other. And they say you’re moody and changing? Pfffft.

    • At least you get the catch 22 I always find myself in. I don’t think others do, they over simplify it. Much like “leaning on” family who doesn’t get it, friends who don’t get it but expect you to get them aren’t healthy either.
      More than winning the lottery or finding a pegacorn, I just wanna one day be stable enough to never have this dilemma on my plate. You and I may be the only ones who truly get that. Thanks for understanding. ❤

      • Zoe beat me to the comment, but she’s 100% right. I would love for you to be able to tell R to shove it up his ass, but you need those resources that he brings to the table. Which doesn’t mean that you have low self esteem (although I think we all do to an extent) it simply means that you need the “paycheck” to badly to quit the “job”.

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