What is flubolapoisoning? I have NO idea. But it’s the best explanation I have for the last six days of absolute physical misery. Once the puking passed, I thought I was all cured so I ate pizza. Not good. I got sick all over again, with what I assumed was the “stomach” part of the stomach flu. Except it was all stomach agony coming in waves, like a sabertooth pegacorn impaled the center of my gut but sealed me up and left me bleeding inside. Okay, drama, it was more like an excrutiating gas bubble that wouldn’t burst but still…It kept me from posting, it kept me from doing pretty much everything that wasn’t bare minimum. I barely left bed all weekend. I mean, I took care of my kid and cats and all but sitting up and moving were too painful and I couldn’t eat cos it made the pain worse…Suckage. Meanwhile, R keeps texting, seeming genuinely concerned, which I appreciate, cos in the event of ebola or some catastrophic illness, he and his wife will be my first call, not my useless family. But then at 11:30 last night came the text that said it all. Wording was right, but message was clear. Get well and serve my needs ASAP. Whatevs.

I am feeling 80% better today. Yesterday I was so hungry after eating only saltines for two days, I braved bland vanilla ice cream. It stuck and it soothed. So I got very brave and had tv dinner for supper. It, too, stuck. Woke up this morning in a fraction of discomfort compared to the last few days. I didn’t exactly leap out of bed, I snoozed til 7:15 actually. But I put on pants I hadn’t slept in and I took my kid to school and then braved the Mickey D’s drive through for a sweet tea. And to my shock, the car in front of me paid for it and I have no idea why. I didn’t recognize their car. Kind act, tis the season? Extra change?Or charity cos they see I’m driving a 1988 with a bashed in fender? Who knows. It was a random act of kindness where I thought few existed. I am winning the humanity/fates lottery here.

See, another wondermous thing occurred this morning. My cat Willow, who abandoned us months ago, to live outside or with a neighbor…and today she was on the step. I was so happy to see her alive and well and looking healthy. She didn’t want back in, she wanted fed, and I respect that. After all the feline death this year…It’s so awesome that Willow is well and she came back to where she knows at least she will be fed. And spoiled with milk and cheese.

The third excellent thing of the day (and it’s only 1o a.m.!~) is that my winter assistance for power/heat was granted so I probably won’t have a power bill til January! I can put the sticker on the car and buy my kid’s Christmas without having to do the charity route. Not that there’s anything wrong with Toys for Tots and all. I’d just prefer to do it myself if I can and leave the charity for kids who are truly in need. Aside from something Frozen *die elsa die already*  and some chochtkys, my kid is fine. We always have food. We have shelter and now, warmth. (Thank you benefactor, but I am still gonna say people suck cos on a whole, most do. Just not wordpressers in the mental health community, except the sunshine spewers who suck their own rainbows…Um…where was I?)

But yeah, I am back and sassy as ever. It’s probably gonna be bumpy. I haven’t had my full dose of meds due to illness since last Tuesday so the prozac increase is gonna have to wait a bit. I don’t want to go back in full tilt and get that serotonin thing that kills me. I really tried to take the damn things but I couldn’t keep them down even during the non throwing up days. They’d just come back up. Why bother wasting good meds if they’re not gonna get absorbed, ya know?

In spite of my illness…We adopted a new kitten. I named her Chaos. She is a tabby whom my sister’s boss DUMPED and sis went and fetched her and the siblings and asked me if I’d take her. Sap that I am, I did. It was love at first bite. I was trying to choke down the meatballs my kid didn’t want from her spaghettios and sis showed up with the cat, well, the cat smelled food and attacked the sauce on my lips so I just surrendered the plate to her. She is so sweet and loving, I don’t think it was a bad decision to take her in. I know, I don’t need more cats. But I do need to feel soothed and kitties soothe me, so fuck it. I am down an outside cat now, anyway. Huckle hasn’t been seen in days and it worries me. I may call the pound later to see if one of my asshole neighbors had him picked up. Not sure where the hundred in bail money (adoption fees) will come from if he’s there but damn, he’s been here three years and he’s family. Fuckitall.

My kid has been doing a little better. Of course, I’ve had to come to the realization that…we’re not always gonna be besties or get along. I’m the parent, I have to be the bad guy. At the same time, I also have to stop digging my heels in as if this is a contest to see who is more stubborn. So I’ve been letting her have her fits and ignoring her because engaging makes it worse. It’s the attention she wants and even calmly trying to reason with her feeds the fit…So I send her to her room until she stops the fit. In return, I’ve been spending more time with her teaching her fun science facts. Okay, some are forensic and probably not appropriate for six year olds, but whatever. She loves to write things down and learn these facts and it tickles me to have an educational activity we can do together. Any parent can play a board game, throw a ball, or let a computer babysit. It takes a special ghoul of a mom to teach their kid that maggots can tell how long a person has been dead and that leeches remove dead tissue. I also teach her fun stuff about animals. Like 22 months gestation for momma elephants. What fresh hell is that for them???

I am missing the mark on some things with Spook. Like her reading. Since they put her in that “special” group she’s lost all interest and I haven’t really been pushing it like I should. And she’s always on about the other kids using the special sites the school has them on for studying and I don’t sign her up for such things because she can’t be trusted with electronics. I let her sit at my desk last week and next thing I know, three keys have “magically” popped off the keyboard of the laptop. No. “But my friends have ipads!” Whatevs. I’d planned on giving her the netbook but since it’s DOA…I’m not gonna let her trash my good stuff. I am gonna wait til R gives me some dinosaur laptop I don’t give a fuck about and let her have it. Until you take care of stuff, you don’t deserve it anyway. Call me a mean mom or anti education. Kids learned just fine long before everything was computerized. If the school deems it so necessary, they can pay for the damned device.

Spook is having a sleepover with Grandma tonight since there’s no school tomorrow. Or that’s the plan, mom said, “we’re looking at houses so that may be a problem.” Ugh, yes, they would move at the holidays, about their fucking speed. Meanwhile the whole week I was sick,  I couldn’t even get one family member to watch her so I could rest or see a doctor. Nooo, I might be contagious thus making Spook contagious and then pass it to my mom’s sickly elderly roommate. Yeah, family matters with these people. Throw blood under the bus, stick to non relatives who do fuck all.

And my dad’s contribution…”Does Spook know how to get help if something happens to you?”

No offer of a break. Nope. Asshole family.

On an end note…Feeling jinxy and all after mentioning my bumper bump in traffic last week..And a couple of beloved readers have serious accidents. Not that I am all powerful and important but I feel rather petty complaining in light of that…Hope you both feel better, love to Leslie and Sass. ❤

Now I think I am gonna watch Blindspot. Or Minority Report. Not sure. I am just happy that I’ve been sitting up for three hours now and not doubled over under the covers in grueling pain. Physical illness really makes you appreciate being healthy. You need all resources for the mental shit. And with the hellidays and missed meds, it’s gonna come for me. Not pessimism, just fact.

You may return to your previous broadcast.



3 Responses to “Flubolapoisoning”

  1. Oh you poor thing! That is some nasty shit you’ve been down with. Your father kills me though. What the fuck is his damage? He feels that your 6 year old should be responsible for taking care of you if something bad happens? Fucking babysit you douchebag.

    I’m glad that you are feeling better though. I’m hoping the car accident thing was one of those “comes in threes” things. That way it should end with you, me and Sass. I get to go to the orthopaedic surgeon in about 10 minutes. Woohoo.

    I am glad that you were the recipient of a random act of kindness. You absolutely deserved it!

  2. I’d rather puke up a weeks worth of food than have any form of trapped gas. You can’t do anything but curl up in a ball and wish the ceiling would fall in on you. Glad you’re feeling better today, at least.

  3. UGHH! I HATE being sick (not too many people do!?) Feel better! Sorry Sissy! 😦

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