I do Not <3 Insomnia

Once all was said and done last night…I calmed down a great deal. Then I took my xanax and Restoril at 10:30 p.m.

I was still awake at one a.m.

What the fuck? Melatonin kicks in sooner than that.

It sucks when your mind and body have just had ENOUGH but the scumbag brain deems sleep something you can live without. The longer it took to fall asleep, the more anxious I became. And PISSED. I was exhausted. Round and Round the brain went (OOH, ROUND AND ROUND BY RATT IS AN AWESOME SONG!) and I took .25 more of Xanax. I should have been nice and relaxed. We were having this soothing thunder/lightning/rain storm, which is a calming thing for me.

Scumbag brain had other ideas.

Get out your melon baller, Sass, and remove the parts of my brain that do this to me!

When I FINALLY started to nod off…BAM! That jolt into wakefulness, feeling terrified. Over and over. Then my kid woke me to ask if she could sleep in my bed. Oh, and three a.m. I woke to drowning in allergy drainage and spent an hour gagging and coughing and gasping for air. Which means today…I have little voice. It keeps fading in and out from a rasp, and with a child who demands two hundred questions be answer every 60 seconds…not likely my voice will get much of a rest. Cripes on a shit stick.

Hmm…let me think of something positive about yesterday.

Jeopardy theme playing….

OH OH OH. My meatloaf was excellent. I made one with my normal tomato soup and crispy french onion topping and the other had a brown sugar-ketchup french onion topping. That was good. Or as good as food gets for my tastebuds these days. (I swear food tastes better sans all these meds but the doctor says it’s all in my head, the meds don’t affect tastebuds.)

Oh OH, and The Flash posted early so I’d already watched it and sent R a text about how awesome it was…He hadn’t seen it yet…I was so tempted to do oopsy spoilers. I didn’t though.

My kid informed me the other day that girls can’t like super heros. UM…Wrong. Large percentage of those at comic-con are female. Plus I don’t believe in that gender bullshit. I like my superheros. In fact, I cannot wait to see Deadpool. I think his snarkasm makes him my perfect man.

So far today…I set three alarms (I have so many cool ringtones, I like waking up to different songs) and it was still so dark out, I thought my clocks had to be wrong. Maybe it’s not the getting dark so early in evening that gets me, maybe it’s waking up to darkness that sets my circadian shit askew. Anyway, three alarms and I still hit snooze twice. Got my kid up. She has this morning ritual of going potty and just sitting there for a few minutes…talking to her imaginary friend Melissa. It’s hysterical to hear this conversation that’s one sided and yet in her mind, it’s very real. My mom seems to think having an imaginary friend means my kid has some sort of mental illness…No, she has an imagination, for fuck’s suck. If Melissa is still around when she gets her license, then I will be concerned.

I took some meatloaf by the shop cos ya know, I promised R meatloaf. Gathered up all the part numbers, told him since my voice was non existent I’d do it all from home…then asked for money for tobacco. Whatevs. Call it punitive damages for my pain and suffering in dealing with him. He didn’t say no, so…his own damn fault. Besides…I’m still waiting for my thirty dollars’ credit for that Fratian netbook but oh, hey, Nik, he lives out of state so it might be awhile…FUCK IT ALL WITH A BARBWIRE DILDO. Now I am home and I need to wash all my bedding because one of the furry horkmonsters went bulimic on it (not insulting bulimics, just trying to make cat puke sound less..um, gross.)

What I am gonna do is…watch izombie and Limitless. All else can wait.

Now…a rumble in my tummy only hands can satisfy…

 

 

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12 Responses to “I do Not <3 Insomnia”

  1. Restoril was one of those meds that worked for me for about 2 weeks and then stopped. Pdoc changed me to Ambien, which, so far is doing the trick. We’ll see how long it lasts.

    I love that your kid has an imaginary friend named Melissa. That just hits my funny bone for some reason. Good for her, it’s good she enjoys herself. 🙂

    • I didn’t like Ambien. It’s a hyponotic and I’d find myself doing shit I didn’t remember in the morning. My doctor says that only happens if you’re on booze or drugs but he’s full of shit, cos it happened to me stone cold sober.

      I think if I can get a spare few bucks I am gonna go back to melatonin. Or melanoma, as my kid calls it.

      On Wed, Oct 21, 2015 at 10:34 AM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:

      >

  2. Insomnia, does body BAD

  3. I have melon ballers and cookie and ice cream scoops of varying sizes! Though these are all sterile, unlike the other biohazard set. I cannot partake in your ladies joy of insomnia. I always get sleep some way-even if I gotta be a right hand woman. It is what it is.

  4. Screaming Jean Says:

    Oh my , excuse me but I think you and me merged last night. I had the EXACT same kind of night, took sleeping pill, and brain took over. Think you’re getting off to sleep? Ha ha yeah right, let’s explore every crevice, every horrible box of terrors hidden away – we’re gonna open them, and then we’ll start on the insignificant things such as the cheese you ate earlier.

    That’s my brain talking.

    I think I’m about to have another night the same again, so I’ll have that shitty hangover type feeling when I do wake up.

    • I used to blame that morning hangover thing on meds or not enough sleep.

      Until I realized it was just my life and ate a vat of chocolate while weeping into a bed sheet cos a tissue wasn’t adequate.

      On Wed, Oct 21, 2015 at 7:17 PM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:

      >

  5. Insomnia here and the cat wont’ leave me alone. In my bed now.

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