I don’t have Mommy or Daddy Issues

What? I really DON’T.

I have issues with people being assholes, blood relation be damned.

After struggling the last two weeks to put gas in the car, trying to get Abby to the vet, and my dad basically berating me for not working, for being lazy, for living in poverty thus forcing my kid to….And of course him not offering up a dime for gas to get her to school yet asking repeatedly what my plan was to get her there…

I found out last night that my sister went and cleaned house for him and stepmonster because she needed money for cat food and litter. They paid her sixty bucks.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Six days ago he was too broke to spring for a few day loan to give me gas money for hauling my kid to school.

But my sister, who works three home healthcare gigs (less than 40 hours a week but still $13.50 an hour), lives with my mom and her mother in law, both with a combined income of almost$5000 a month…and she needs money for cat food so he can pay her to clean his house. I don’t even know what the fuck this is, except it’s always been that way. I offered to work off any money loaned to me, I needed gas in the car and I wanted to get Abby to the vet. My sister blows $170 on a comforter but can’t feed her cats and she deserves the gig to earn money.

I’ve always seethed but ultimately let it pile onto the resentment list. This time, I’m not forgiving. He could have easily loaned me some money to get Abby seen a week ago. What a fucking prick. I guess it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see I’m not the golden child in my family. I am the family disappointment, the one who had good grades, was in advanced classes, the one who “had” a chance for a good future and career but I “blew it” time and again.

Not because I have bipolar disorder, nooo, mental illness is not real in my family. I’m just a lazy fuck up who at 42 still hasn’t gotten her shit together due to this flakiness. It’s totally my choice to hover between not having the will to live or thinking I am ten feet and bulletproof. It’s awesome.

I have tried to talk to my parents about this imbalance in the way they’ve always treated us. All I get is, “You’re just jealous of your sister!”

I am just short on patience for assholes. Period.

Aside from dealing with idgets called family…

I’ve reached this point where if I am not tearing up and accidentally calling one of the other cats Abby or Arsenic…I feel numb. Like my central nervous system was shot full of Novacaine. Which isn’t all bad. The anxiety has only spiked a couple of times all weekend. It will return with a vengeance tomorrow when we are back to the drop off/pick up school grind. That level of anxiety five days a week is going to be the death of me. I’m not dramatic, I just know my fortitude for such things hits a wall. Throw in all the money issues, the heat, and still DEALING WITH ASSHOLES…

It’s not pessimism or self fulfilling prophecy. It’s just hard learned from years of experience. I had my respite to grieve.

Today Spook is going to my mom’s. I need to make a stop for some household things thenI am coming home and…Meh. Fleh. (FUCKING LIFE IS HELL.) I did the mountain of dishes yesterday, washed and folded most of the laundry. I will finish up the clothes and do more vacuuming today. Beyond that…Maybe my voice can fully rest without Spook demanding I speak every five seconds to answer her thousands of questions. I am still croaky like a frog.

Speaking of vacuums…I took this one the other day when sis was taking my vac apart. Feet (Spook’s cat) has apparently decided riding broomsticks with witches is boring so he’s upgraded.

Feet vacuum ride

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10 Responses to “I don’t have Mommy or Daddy Issues”

  1. Hahaha He’s showing the witches who’s best!
    No comment on the family. I. Just. CANT. Idiocy. Assfuckery.
    It’s 11 and I have negative 10 motivation. Bed sounds like a wonderful place to stay today-being served by Cute Neighbor Guy all day. Oh, that’s dreamland. Dammit

  2. That picture is priceless. It’s almost as if he’s imagining what it’s going to be like once it gets up to speed.

  3. It’s always a severe letdown (over and over and over again) when family acts like this. Family is the one group that we are willing to give 89,000 chances to be nice to us and are stunned every time they end up being assholes. I have had the same problem with my parents. My last hospitalization scared them somewhat straight. I don’t know why that worked this time when it didn’t work last time. But I have also built a gigantic wall made of some of the strongest bricks and mortar available to my psyche to keep them away and out of certain things. Some asshole cut a door in it while I wasn’t looking a couple weeks ago, but I got it shut tight again. I think that we can choose our family. Family doesn’t have to be blood. Or we can choose our definition of family, and make it very very narrow.
    BTW Feet is freaking adorable!

  4. LOL Feet says “FUCK this shit, I’m not a witch’s familiar” (*a witch’s companion, servant, minor demon). Screw the broom, I got this! Now open the dammed door so I can go fuck up some deserving ASSHOLES Momma! >^•^< ! Ehhh,,, that shitty family shit is just that → TOTALLY NOT COOL!! 'nough said by me on that part. ❤ big hugs & £0¥€

  5. Aw cute feet. And his feet are cute too. Your dad though…………….

  6. God. Family sux.

  7. Family… Love them, hate them, you’re stuck with them
    As much as I am cursed with anxiety, depression and stress as a result, money worries to put pressure on my stretched ability to function in happy fucking society, my parents do accept mental illness
    Not via the happy mediums of distant knowledge I fear but far more viseral experiences

    I sometimes wish I could erase all knowledge of the crappy side of humanity that I have seen, replace it with fluffy happiness and ignorance of what the flip side is really like… But alas I am not so blessed

    “To see the negative underside of life, is to never know happiness with unjaded sight”

    The picture is a pure classic though, I have a few gems of my own departed family pets that cursed, loudly! My exsistance… But the little madames made sure they did enough to redeem themselves!

  8. My brother is the golden child. I love him to pieces, but since his father adopted me when I was five I am not of noble real blood, so therefore I’m just the daughter of a white trash whore. Family sucks. I’d rather be alone.

    • Ya know, I’d really like to know what constitutes “white trash”. Is this some socioeconomic insult? Is it behaviorally based? Because I live in a trailer and somehow that makes me white trash yet I’m clean, my kid is clean, I don’t sleep around, I don’t behave like a skank…Whereas if one has money but carries on like that, they don’t get called white trash.
      Just one of those quirky things that irks me.
      My dad was adopted, along with his sister, by my grandpa, and they were abused and driven hard. Where my uncle, of my grandpa’s bloodline, was the prince who did no wrong.
      I wonder sometimes if that’s where my dad gets this putting the brother and even the sister on the pedestal. He was the oldest and they were hard on him so it twists back onto me.
      Who knows. I’m sorry you’re in the same boat with me. Looks like we traded in the doubledecker suck bus for a secondclass citizen canoe.

      • I grew up in a trailer, and even lived in one for a long while when my daughter was younger. I’m not sure what really constitutes white trash, I just know that my mom has been called that her entire life, and by proxy me as well. She’s a drug addict, a whore, narcissistic, and refuses to work but rather lie to every man she encounters (She has given me cancer so she could get money for my ‘treatments’, she has given herself cancer six or seven times in exchange for hundreds of thousands of dollars for her ‘treatments’) …. so I guess if there were a proper definition for the term, she would take it in spades.

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