Here I Go Again- Not a Whitesnake song

No more brain zaps, I have 90mg Cymbalta on board, though I took it in 30mg increments throughout the day. No setting off hypomania, either. Last time I was on 90, I went total manic episode so I have to be careful. If any of you stalkers, er, followers (<3) notice me being positive and spewing sunshine and bleeding rainbows…Smack me with a rotting fish and tell me so, please? So often with mental illness and its distortions, we often don’t recognize warning signs in our own behavior.

My kid has been a bonafide brat since I brought her home. My mom bought her a box of Frozen cereal, which is basically Lucky Charms, but my kid doesn’t like the healthy stuff so she eats-and my mom lets her- nothing but the entire box of marshmallows. Pure sugar for two days. Thank you, mom. I get satan child, in spades. The word no triggers her enough, toss in sugar aggression…Yeah, it’s been fun. NOT.

I am soo not looking forward to trying the Restoril. I read the pharmacy insert and the mere term “hypnotic” makes me want to recant every complaint of sleep disturbance and just live with it. That’s some scary shit, and even if it’s not scary, I DON’T WANT THE FUCKING HANGOVER. Seriously, I could have a couple of glasses of red wine at bedtime to sleep and not wake up with hangover, so why do the pills come with one? And the “may cause you to get up and do things you have no memory of doing”…Yeah, big selling point. NOT. I prefer to ride my cheetas and giraffes while awake, thankyouverymuchandfuckyouaswell.

And it’s yelling at me again…Love my kid, and I don’t think she’s satan or anything, but my tolerance for assholes is nil even when it’s my own flesh and blood. Sue me.

In a note of light, I’ve been making goo goo eyes at the kittens all day. The older ones. The new ones Shade had aren’t gonna make it, I don’t think. I have to lock her in the pet taxi or otherwise she just leaves them for hours and ignores them. My fluffalumps Juju had are healthy as a team of oxen. And loud. Aresenic and Zatar were tag taming daddy Voodoo earlier, climbing all over his back and trying to nurse and I thought it was hysterical. He did not and left them in the lurch, going across the room with this indignant, “I am dad, I do no nurturing” look.

I sent R a text earlier about a funny youtube vid and he never did reply. If I didn’t reply to his most inane message he’d have a tantrum. I think he’s letting me know how not dropping everything to do his bidding has inconvenienced him thus I shall be ignored. Whatever. I told him last week repeatedly I had plans for today. Not my fault all he hears is what he wants to hear, mainly everything about him and nothing about anyone else.

Ugh, my stomach churns the closer it gets to bedtime and that Restoril. New meds make me so nervous. There is no “I can’t try it because I have to take care of my kid.” There is only I have to take care of my kid so I will try it warily as yeah, I’d like to feel well rested for a change, too. If the hangover is like Trazadone, though, it’s gonna be a brief courtship. How is sleeping all night worth it when you spend the ten hours the next day with your head pounding and cobwebs on your eyeballs and brain? It shouldn’t be like that just to get a good night’s sleep.

Then again, it shouldn’t be baseline for it to take ten years and four doctors for most people to get a proper diagnosis. There is nothing positive about mental illness and the sunshine spewers can go choke on a pastel colored cotton candy tasting cloud for all I care. This is just a bucket of fail and “trying not to fail.”

I’m ready for crypt time. Three trips into the dish, fifteen different stops, a defiant brattleaxe of a child, yapping kittens climbing me and eating my toes…I’ve served my time.

And for my next bumper sticker, dedicated for this place…

“If assholes could fly, this would be an airport.”

That is all.



13 Responses to “Here I Go Again- Not a Whitesnake song”

  1. The visuals that your bumper sticker evoked have scarred my already scarred brain… I get v wary around new meds too, what sensible person doesn’t? On a positive note, here’s some rotting fish.

  2. I know your body reacts to meds like chuahuahas react to air, thus your apprehension (therefore totally understood) but isn’t Restoril a benzo? I personally never took it,,, good luck & gnite Chicka!

    • Get this shit, dude. He prescribed the lowest possible dose 7.5mg cos I am so med sensitive. I picked it up today and it was 15mg, so I called the office. The nurse said, “Your insurance won’t cover the lower dose, it comes to over three hundred dollars. They cover the 15mg though.”

      Can I get a big “what the fuck” for my insurance company?

      On Mon, Aug 3, 2015 at 8:05 PM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:


      • WTF/WTH!?! Did your Dr &/or pharmacy let you know of the change made?? I FUCKING HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES!!

      • She says, “I thought for sure I called to tell you about the change, it was so crazy Friday.”

        Two phones, two voice mails I can be contacted through, not a fucking word, not even a missed call cos one was never made. Glad I pay attention to this shit, they sure as hell don’t.

        On Mon, Aug 3, 2015 at 8:12 PM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:


      • They must’ve ran out of fucks (ya know, end of the month) & not gotten August’s supply in yet, cause it sounds like they didn’t give a FUCK! Assfucks!!

      • You’re an optimist, assuming they had fucks to be given in the first place whereas my care is concerned!

        On Mon, Aug 3, 2015 at 8:23 PM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:


  3. It’s definitely NOT like the Trazadone hangover/fig that lasts. I had it a few days, took some Tylenol and was good. I never did anything crazy while I was on it-or I’m sure DB would have told me.
    On the lighter side-my mom has given me a gratuitous amount of mother of the year pins because I medicated my kids with Benadryl so they’ll sleep tonight! Monkey is sleeping UNDER the bed and NSLM is already burritoed up in his granny blanket. I RULE!

    • HA HA HA, brilliant minds, I just gave Spook benadryl for her itchies!

      Ya know what you said about the cat peeing on me and me not waking up to notice?

      When I went to get Spook, my sister was mid tirade cos one of their cats had just sprayed their TV with pee and fried the whole thing.

      Voodoo can pee on me, i am washable. He ever pees on my electronics, I am siccing the pegacorn of doom on his ass.

      On Mon, Aug 3, 2015 at 8:30 PM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:


      • BWAHAHAHAHAHA serves those assfucks right! I’m DYING over here!! Oh sheeet!! Voodoo-BEHAVE! 😉 LOL I asked Monkey if she had a cough so I could give her medicine w/codeine in it. But she and NSLM NEED the sleep. They have black eyes from stating up so late and school starts Wednesday!
        BWAHAHAHA still laughing about the TV!!!

  4. BRATTLEAXE! LOL. I need two of those on my warrior immediately. May the med be ever in your favour. I know that terror alright. If I comment with a picture of a zombie know that it means you’re spewing rainbows. That’s going to be our code okay?

  5. I laughed so hard I almost peed myself. You guys are great when you all get in action together. My blogs are still growing quickly. I have to pick and choose what to read and of course all of your blogs are yesses, but getting harder to go through. I just did and have a 1000 posts again. I already took my night time pills and so will be toddling off to bed soon. Ha!

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