I’m Meellllting…

'I'm melting! I'm melting! and on the good rug, too!'

‘I’m melting! I’m melting! and on the good rug, too!’

Not really, as I don’t have a good rug. Still, it’s 93 degrees and in a tin box with barely functional air conditioning…Yeah, I am melting into a wicked puddle of (b)witchiness. Outdoors was even worse. I was drenched in sweat ten minutes into my dish journey. Which meant every tiny thing clinging to my skin, just from the humidity. icky icky icky. R invited me over to hang out tonight since he knows how uncomfortable my little sauna is. I’m gonna go, what the hell, couple of hours, sans spawn, in air conditioning with a Mangorita…Yep, I’m only in it for the air and Mangoritas, I am that shallow. Actually, it’s just that uncomfortable at home because anyone who reads my blog regularly knows…The dish is my trigger, I adore my safe bubble. If I am willing to venture out…It’s that bad.

I fucked up this morning when I took Spook to my room, put something on the computer for her to watch…And nodded off. For like, fifteen bloody minutes. I had the alarm set just in case, ‘cos it was trash day. Well, assfucks picked up an hour earlier today so I didn’t get it out in time. Damn damn damn. All things considered, it’s only the second time in two years I’ve fucked up and missed trash pick up. For me, that’s pretty damned spectacular. Of course, now, in light of the letter from the landlord about the trash cans requiring lids and mine have none, I’m gonna be all paranoid about getting chewed out for that since the trash will be piling up. If lids are such a big fucking deal, I don’t know why the prissy landlord doesn’t spring for the damned trash cans. Mine had lids until they melted in the stupid sunlight. Meeelting all around.

That fifteen minute power nap helped, though. I felt shitty ‘cos I hadn’t intended to do anything but loll in bed…Thankfully, she didn’t ya know, skin one of the cats or set the place on fire with her fiery temper. It still took me three hours to get out the door to do the dish thing. Mostly, with the car on E, I was waiting to hear from mom to see if she wanted me to bring Spook over cos I couldn’t afford a second trip if she called after I’d already gone out. After her berating me last night for not being able to keep gas in an eight cylinder tank..mom had the nerve to play on my guilt today and ask me if I had anything in my freezer to spare cos they’re out of food until the first. Let’s see…I have less than eight hundred a month to raise a child on, yet that house has three incomes totaling over five grand a month, and I’m asked for food? Maybe they should try using the cheap shampoo and shit that I do so I can afford to keep food in the house. Such hypocrisy. Of course, I took them something since Spook was going to be eating with them for her sleepover, but still…I think I do pretty fucking well for what I got coming in and going out. Being berated yet asked for help because I can manage income well is just fucking stupid.

I decided to try something new today and actually smiled at someone in public. He glared at me like I’d sprouted two heads. This town…My misanthropy is not without foundation. I love my fellow man, I just hate people. Seriously, for every good one I encounter, ten asstrolls come along. It’s hard to form a positive opinionΒ  when things are so disproportionate.

I stopped by the shop to give R his smokes and AmAx back. He surprised me by buying me lunch. I didn’t ask for it, but I was grateful. Of course, I suffered, because my stomach can’t take spicy food..And it was a spicy chicken sammich he brought me. I swear the people around me think I am making up my food sensitivities or something because they all know I usually end up in stomach agony yet they keep giving me the very foods that cause it. Oh, well, I ate because I am grateful, even if my griping says otherwise. Just a good thing I don’t have fatal food allergies or these well meaning people would murder me. (To his credit, he did put some gas in my car for running his errands, so I should shut the fuck up. Too bad it’s not in my skillset.)

I had to bail the dish after two hours. The heat, my own lethargy, and the fact that I was bathed in sweat in spite of the air conditioning at the shop…Might as well be in my bubble if I’m going to be miserable all around. Thought I’d shower upon return and maybe grab another power nap. It’s too fucking hot to nap and if I shower now, I’ll be coated in sweat in five minutes. I’m waiting til the last minute so when I do go out, I will be at least semi clean and un-reeking.

In my current ALL THINGS METAL mind frame…I always loved the song “Apologize” by Onerepublic with Timbaland and the original truly is just beautiful….But I found this on youtube and it was like, a beautiful ballad with cajones…WINNNN.

In my nerdy all things science fiction mind frame…R showed me this one and I thought it was cool as hell.

In my current everything-causes-me-anxiety state..I’ve acquired a play list of piano covers of hard rock song instrumentals. For whatever reason, it soothes me. There are more good covers out there than I would have thought. Color me shocked and meeelting.

On a side note, in closing…I have decided that the amazing Andi shall be included in the Volatile Femmes posse. Because I told her she should be in the club but we don’t do anything but trade snarks and rail on idgets and she was totally down with it. Welcome aboard! I adore people who appreciate sarcastic banter. I’d rather be called a mouthy bitchbeast than have someone tell me I’m pretty. Honestly, only one of those things is believable and I’m a realist. (So bring it on, Diane, the Jeopardy music is tiring and I am waiting to be properly offended πŸ˜‰ )

Melting Morgueticia out. Now someone clean up the damned rug.




51 Responses to “I’m Meellllting…”

  1. Welcome Andi! I’m the designated driver and I am afraid to drive. Guess we aren’t going anywhere fast.

  2. BUCKLE UP BITCHES IT’S ROAD TRIP TIME! Dammit Morgue, I TOLD you not to melt on the carpet. It’s gonna take me AGES to get you out of it. I’m all outta Black Majik πŸ˜‰ Welcome abroad Andi!

  3. I use the term wordidge at times but for you it takes a whole new meaning
    I’m having my periodic meltdown, depressive cliff staring and spring loaded off walls in extreme it seems… But reading your stuff makes me laugh. Not sure it’s meant to but in my current dark mood a gallows been built outside my flat would bring a smile to my face, the fact the neighbours have to put up with wall bouncing activities and manic laughter before cold dead silence… I think they prefer me depressed and suicidal!
    And if I smile at people it leads to horrified displays of them removing their eyes to replace the pain of my grin and so they never have to see it again
    Part of me likes the calm, admittedly bordering, depressive dark mood I’m in because the following shit storms are going to hurt more, at least when I’m emotional dead I don’t feel it

    Depression, mother nature’s sedative
    Warning: side affects include sucicidal thoughts, manic out bursts and emotionally painful self loathing, mirrors not recommended
    Not recommended for anyone, at all, for any reason, do not get depressed and buy drugs, its safer!!!

    • I generally prefer my depression to my mania because at least it is calm and there is logic to simply wanting to drink bleach with an arsenic chaser. There is zero logic to episodes of bursting out into manic laughter at a funeral or becoming enraged because the gas station ran out of your favorite beef jerky. Stupid dysfunctional brain.

      Well, while not approved by the FDA, laughter is the best and cheapest medicine, so if I make you laugh…Excellent, Smithers.
      *Side effects may include incessant talk of pecacorns, snorting sea monkeys, outbursts into vintage Beavis and Butthead skits, and no, you may not sue me for said effects because I’m too broke to even pay attention*

      Hope it gets better for you, Luv.

      • I’d ask how much your soul is worth in terms of wanting to sue, but I suspect it sits as despondent as the other other broken remants in the second hand store… I had to pay for them to take mine back last time!!

      • Sorry, only riches you’ll get of me is if you have a fetish for sarcastic barbs. I’m filthy fucking rich with those.

        On Wed, Jul 29, 2015 at 7:57 AM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:


  4. Morgue, I’m not stalling, I got the Jeopardy music on repeat. Just trying my best to think (smell the smoke??) LOL of a worthy offensive comment. Hmmm,,,, **ANDI welcome aboard, you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?? ***remember if we get caught, you’re deaf & I don’t speak English!! πŸ˜‰

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