As The Mood Crashes

And like a ninja it has crept up behind me and I was caught unaware…MOOD SWING. To be more accurate, mood crash. Into the abyss. And there was no trigger from the outside. It was bound to come, though. I had four days of what passes for stability in my world. What goes up must come down.

It’s not as much a depressive “I wanna die” crash. It’s more of an exhausted crash. I haven’t slept more than three solid hours in over a week. If my kid isn’t waking me, my bladder or stupid brain are. The dreams. Takes forever to get to sleep. Can’t stay asleep. Don’t want to wake up because I’m still so tired. Bound to affect mood.

It’s showing in my “writing” endeavor. There’s no spark, just spinning and redundancy. I think tonight I need to take my Xanax early, cryptify, and give myself a chance to zone out and recharge. God knows the weekend is probably gonna suck as it is July 4th. Even if I am not guilted into some lame cookout (bugs eat me alive so cookouts are a living hell for me) there will the sound of fireworks going off everywhere. Trailer park people are big on the firecracker thing, which makes you a little wary cos ya never know when they might upgrade to firing off guns in their drunken celebrations.

I think I just need a good night’s rest. Or as good as I can get. I don’t get the abruptness of the crash. I barely did any dish time today aside from going to the FedEx office then to get a pop and back home. My kid’s been on about six, so that’s been bearable. I took my meds properly. Still…the crash comes.

And I am fairly sure it comes because I try to live life at the speed others do and I can’t keep up so…Crash landing.

Time for a brain reboot. IF the brain will shut the fuck up and let me sleep. And my kid doesn’t wake me up and tell me to stop eating dirt. I swear when I sold my soul to the devil, I had no idea it was on the condition I turn into a dirt devil.


26 Responses to “As The Mood Crashes”

  1. UGH that sux, i’m sorry! Hope you can get some rest, seriously that’s enough to drive you mad – sleep deprivation! I asked if you were turning into a Dirt Devil when I read your last post!?! I used to be a broom but everybody kept asking if I was a witch,,, nope, nope, nopers. Now I’m a Sharp Vacuum & my life just sucks,,,

  2. Don’t think they make Dirt Devil’s anymore, do they? Maybe you can upgrade to one of those Oreck kind that’ll be replaced for life? AND you’ll get the air purifier FREE! Writing is writing, and that’s ok. Doesn’t have to make sense now-you’re doing it! Equinaritas!! Oh wait, those are for the pegacorns…eff it.

  3. No sleep fucks me up so bad.

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