The Less Than 100 Questions I Chose To Answer

So, some of my fellow she bloggers from the Volatile Femmes have been perpetuating this “100 questions” thing and really…I am far too lazy to do the full hundred, especially since some of them are just a repeat of other little question thingies I’ve done. My illness is redundant enough,I won’t add to it. Sooo I played pick and choose with the 100 questions and decided to answer the ones I felt most intriguing.

1. How are you, really?
At this moment…Okay. In an hour…consult the crystal mood ball.

2. How do you feel right now? What are you thinking about?

How to fake eat my kid’s Play dough cake she made me without actually eating it and avoid hurting her feelings. I’m deep that way.

3. What do you do for fun

Fun? I don’t understand the concept.  But if it involves interacting with other people…Alcohol best be involved, otherwise, I won’t. I’m a social drinker. If I have to socialize, I’m drinking.

4. If you could go back in history, who would you like to meet?

Marilyn Monroe. She was a tortured soul because in spite of fame, success, beauty- mental illness took her down just the same. It spares NO ONE.

5. What were you like in high school?

Picture in the yearbook of my sitting in the gym, headphones blaring hair metal, my nose buried in a notebook writing soft core porn with the caption, “Niki studies during lunch hour.” HA HA HA HA. More like Niki tried to avoid getting lynch mobbed during lunch.

6. What’s your earliest memory?

Asshole anti pet neighbor feeding my poodle Snowball glass and watching her die when I was 5.

7. What do you think people think of you?

Hmmm. I’m surrounded by lots of passive aggressive two faces who say one thing to my face and another to others behind my back. I think most would agree that I am moody, high strung, and sarcastic. Maybe morbid, too, but puking rainbows ain’t my thing, sue me.

8. If you could learn one random skill, what would you learn?

To play guitar. I tried and tried to learn, I don’t have the manual dexterity and my brain simply doesn’t get it.

9. Do you think all people are equally valuable, or do you think some people in certain situations might be more valuable than others (say, a severely retarded patient vs. a doctor who could potentially save hundreds of lives)?

Pfft, this is the whole Star Trek “needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” thing. Newsflash: If it comes down to my kid versus a thousand innocent people…Hope you’re not one of them ‘cos you’re gonna die, motherfucker. That answer the question?

10. Do you think people are basically bad or basically good?

People = Shit. Slipknot says so. Frankly, people in masses are mindless morons. I tend to judge on an individual basis.

11. Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, and practices of individuals or groups?

I think the world’s morality is determined by the religion de jour and few people ever bother to learn their own morality, they just follow societal and religious programming. There is no planet on which I will EVER say, or passively agree with, the concept that homosexuality is some sort of sin. Compared to murder and child abuse and pedophilia and animal cruelty…it’s asinine to think any deity really cares what people consent to do in private.

12.  Do you vote? Why / Why not? If you do vote, how do you usually vote?

Having paid attention in class when this was taught in school, I know my vote would count for fuck all so I’ve never registered, never voted, and am not ashamed. As for the mentality that “if you don’t vote, you don’t get to complain…” Bitch, please, I was complaining in utero about my mom’s food choices. Let me be who I am. I bitch, therefore I am.

13. Do you think gay people choose to be gay? Do you think straight people choose to be straight?

See # 11. And if homosexuality offends you, perhaps you should get a therapist and talk about why you think you’re so important you get to have an opinion on who should be attracted and love who.

14. Would you kill an innocent person if you thought it might mean saving a dozen other people?

Nope. I could easily kill a dozen bad people without flinching. But someone who’s done nothing wrong and isn’t really a wretched pile of human vomit…I couldn’t do it. Unless the dozen others were my kid and cats, then yeah, okay.

15. What do you think would be one of the best steps we could take toward ending poverty around the world?

Put an income cap on the obscenely wealthy. Anything over 1 billion dollars and it automatically goes to fund programs for the poor, children and education first, families second, and also, create jobs with livable wages.

16. What’s something you wish everyone knew about you?

That for all my sailoresque swearing, sarcasm and macabre humor…I’m really not that much of a bitch. I’ve just been hurt a lot and my porcupine quills of darkness are my armor. Pierce it with kindness and you’ll find an icky marshmallow center. (which I dyed red so it looks like blood, of course.)

17. What’s something most people don’t know about you?

That in addition to my year round Halloween decor of coffins and skulls, I also have shelves of kitty cat figurines, stuffed animals with HUUUGE eyeballs, and Furbies (minus the batteries because those fuckers start talking randomly at 3 am and it ages you twenty years.) I do have balance between light and dark.

18. What’s one of your favorite questions to ask new friends or to get a conversation going?

“Hey, Dude.”  I can tell if I am going to get along with someone by how they respond to being called dude. If their panties get in a bunch..see ya.

19. How would you explain your basic life philosophy?

If you think, you stink.

Oh, and, cautious optimism. Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst, always get pleasantly surprised if the worst doesn’t happen.

20. Would you rather be hated or forgotten?

Hmmm. I’d like to say hated because at least then I’d have struck some kind of chord. Then again, I’d rather be forgotten that be remembered like some fiend like Hitler or Charles Manson.

21. If you knew you would die tomorrow, would you feel cheated today?

I’ve actually come to terms with death…I can’t control it, it’s going to happen. I just don’t want to know it’s coming, the anxiety alone would make me commit suicide just to be done with it. So…I wouldn’t feel cheated. My daughter is my legacy and I managed to turn out a happy kid in spite of my own issues…It’s not a bad legacy.

End quote to live by:

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which mistakes to keep.


2 Responses to “The Less Than 100 Questions I Chose To Answer”

  1. “Pierce it with kindness and you’ll find an icky marshmallow center. (which I dyed red so it looks like blood, of course.)” Wahahahahaha, that’s awesome! Yeah, I know I’m the only one that still uses that word. Kick rocks.

  2. ‘That for all my sailoresque swearing, sarcasm and macabre humor…I’m really not that much of a bitch. I’ve just been hurt a lot and my porcupine quills of darkness are my armor. Pierce it with kindness and you’ll find an icky marshmallow center. (which I dyed red so it looks like blood, of course.)’

    Wordidge, epic grade to boot

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