WTF happened to me???

I am aware I post too much at times. Whatevs.

But here I sit, patting myself 0n the back, because it’s 9:41 p,m, and I haven’t taken to my crypt yet. Really???? I am leaning that way, which makes it even worse. I am a born night owl. What has happened to make considering being awake “this late” an accomplishment? I used to consider it cruel and unusual punishment when I was in relationships where their schedule made me feel obligated to crash so early or at the least, tip toe around so not disturb them.

Who is this person living in my mind and body? Doesn’t feel like me. And maybe it’s felt that way for years and like the doctors, I just dismissed it as my own neuroses. I still think…

Latuda did something to fuck me up this way.

It will never be validated by the professionals, of course. If they were to admit their miracle med actually harms some, they’d lose money and face, We, who have bad reactions, are statistically insignificant. It’s sad but true. Even if a thousand people have bad reactions, the only “relevant” numbers are the ones who fare well. Yet the doctors wonder why we don’t want to try the newer meds and risk the bad outcome.

I cannot believe it isn’t even ten at night and I am kicking myself for not being in bed already. I feel vulnerable, nervous, easily shaken. Just the kittens *whom I adore* climbing on me are giving me psychological dry socket.

Who the hell is this person living in my skin and mind? It sure as hell isn’t the me of yesteryear.

My kingdom to feel alive again, to enjoy music, to not feel so beaten down and lost and defeated,,,WTF??????


4 Responses to “WTF happened to me???”

  1. Your post Latudalyptic world? *apocalyptic*

  2. I’m wondering wtf happened to me too.

  3. I always thought Latuda was too new for me to take. Doctors weren’t certain exactly how it would affect me. So, i stayed away. Unfortunately, we often must try several medicines before one fits.

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