Multiple Mental Health Diagnoses: Frankenstein’s Monster

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I am so flustered by those, especially celebrities, who think they are being so open and brave by admitting they have a mental disorder. Because they are so quick to toss in, “I take medication and look at how successful and well I am doing.”

Bipolar one-mood stabilizers.
Bipolar two-mood stabilizers and anti depressant
depression-anti depression
anxiety-benzo of choice
attention deficit-pick a stimulant

ONE diagnosis is fairly simple to manage.

BUT when you have multiple diagnoses…It’s not that easy and I resent it being portrayed as if everyone with mental illness has one single issue.

MY diagnosis over the years:
Dysthymic, bipolar one, bipolar two, chronic depression, cyclothymic shifts, panic disorder, anxiety disorder, personality disorders, attention deficit, nervous stomach, agoraphobic…
Everything but the bloody kitchen sink.

Multiple diagnoses mean your case is going to be tricky to medicate properly. Because if you look at it as being Frankenstein’s monster and you are this entity consisting of all these various parts and they all have to coexist, cooperate, and respond to each medicine properly…
It becomes less simple.
I’ve likened my condition to playing whack a mole. No sooner than the bipolar is under control, out comes the anxiety. Or the depression will emerge. Then the ADD will demand a higher dose because everything is so out of whack.
People have no problem understanding the concept of how electronics work. They like hard science. If this one part fails or isn’t provided the volts required, it shuts the whole item down.

Human brain isn’t any different.

I once had a car that just stopped going. Four hundred dollars, three mechanics, new parts…and still nothing. Out of desperation I took it to a guy who charges seventy five bucks for diagnostics. He determined it was A FOUR DOLLAR FUSE causing all the problem.
One it was replaced, everything went back to working order.
One little fuse can shut down an entire machine.

So if you consider mental illness that way each condition has to have a working fuse for functionality…One failed fuse and you’re down for the count. Tracing down that fuse can be, as I found out, time consuming and expensive.
Cars come with schematics.
Human brains do not.
Least not the multiple mental health diagnosis brains.
We all respond differently, have different value fuses, different triggers and stressers.
It’s an inexact science because humans are inexact. For all that is known about the human brain, there is much not known. Even the literature says “it is thought” about how all these psychotripics work to alter brain chemistry,

It’s a game of Where’s Waldo in a place you’re not even sure Waldo has ever been. Finding it…Pegacorns.
But we keep trying. Keep trying to sew all our Frankenstein-y issues together and find a way to make it all work in concert.
We are never given enough credit. I’m not talking awards.
But there are people with completely stable physical and mental function who are struggling to keep up with the world and life in general. If they falter even with all their faculties tip top…
How can mentally ill people not be regarded as trying even harder considering we’re running at a detriment from the word go?
Instead we are stigmatized, judged, labeled, looked down on. Like our brain’s failure to fit the cookie cutter mold is somehow our choice and we are rocking the boat therefore deserve discrimination.

I didn’t create this monster anymore than Dr. Frankenstein’s monster created himself. This was someone else’s brilliant idea, whether you believe in hard science, evolution, creationism. I never made a conscious choice to be a patchwork fucked up. I never once imagined my life would be a never ending cycle of mood swings and panic attacks and manic episodes and complete breakdowns. I never once thought I’d fall so fa down the rabbit hole I’d end up on disability.
No. I wanted to do so many things when my mind was in the right place. Start an animal shelter so no pet ever has to be euthanized again. Become a counselor because only people who’ve been there can really understand it. I wanted to help people. To be more than the sum of my flaws. To escape my upbringing and have a comfortable life where I wasn’t trying to live on $20 for the next two weeks.
NONE of this was ever part of my plan.
People with dire physical ailments likely feel the same way.
No one decides, “I’m tired of life, it’s too hard, so I am gonna get cancer.”
Yet the concensus on mental illness seems to view it exactly that way.

Ignorant is no way to go through life.

It is, I suppose, the ignorance is bliss party line that perpetuates it.

I think the Frankenstein’s monster analogy is a good one. You can’t just sew a bunch of random parts together and expect to get a fully functioning man. Monsters are created that way.
And my mental illnesses are my Dr. Frankenstein.

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2 Responses to “Multiple Mental Health Diagnoses: Frankenstein’s Monster”

  1. Wonderful and brilliant ❤️

  2. This is spot on ~ great summary, great post!!

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