Let’s Talk About Sex

***I have the TLC song of this title stuck in my head, so forgive me.***
***Also some perverted trollfuck will be very disappointed by this if they go by that naughty three letter word in the title. Muhahahah****

The number one question I’ve been asked that pretty much sums up mental illness:
“How do your disorders affect your quality of life?”
Um…How does it NOT affect quality of life?
You think it’s woe is me because I have problems with crying outbursts or manic episodes? No biggie, right?

Well, the sales of products like Viagra indicate that sexual dysfunction IS a big deal to men. Which means sex is a pretty vital part of life, mentally ill or not.

So…I will use myself as the example because frankly I don’t interview others on this topic.
Manic, I would hump the leg of the Lincoln statue at the museum. It’s almost like an ecstasy trip, except I’ve never done ecstasy but what is described sounds like a hypersexual manic episode. Good idea at the time, all the nerve receptors alive and well, you feel alive and desirable and want to keep feeling that way.
It’s only after the fact that you review your actions and think WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO, THAT’S SO NOT ME!
Then during the depressions, I feel less than sexual. I don’t want to bathe or pretty myself up. I want to smell bad and isolate and growl at people and cry and just be unattractive and pathetic. No sex drive. But it does release the good chemicals so occasionally I can be swayed.
It’s sad because on an even keel, I have a good sex drive. I like it. What’s the big deal?

But because of the mental issues…Even this wondermous activity is tainted. And it becomes further tainted by the treatments.
I’ve had antidepressants that made me feel asexual. Some made me feel hypersexual but orgasms weren’t ever going to happen. Then were the ones who let you keep a tiny sliver of sex drive but inhibited pleasure so much it was as fun as sweeping a floor.

Unfortunately, there is no Viagra sort of pill to pop for all the sexual dysfunction that comes with treated/untreated mental illness. It is what it is. And the doctors seem to think that sexual dysfunction as a side effect is trivial.
So, what, we’re ill, we should accept that we’re not allowed a basic human pleasure?

It is a quality of life issue. Most people, even if not overtly sexual, still like the touch of another, like how it feels to get carried away with the sensations and emotions and the connection of physically interacting with others.
And mental illness, and it’s treatment, even rob us of that.

So..How does mental illness affect my quality of life?

It makes me want to have all my sexy bits removed because if I can’t get them to work as they were intended…What’s the fucking point in having them.

Too much information?

I don’t think I’ve even scratched the surface on this one.It needs to be discussed because it is a factor. People are weird about talking sex anyway, and the stigma of mental illness has lead to almost asexuality amongst the mentally ill.
It’s time to lift the cloak and bring the topic into the light, uncomfortable and embarrassing as it is for some.

So…yeah. Let’t talk about sex.
Maybe if enough people did talk about it and the effects mental illness and medications have on that aspect of our humanity, there might be some research into a drug that might not have that side effect.

I assure you it’s not trivial.
It’s a basic human drive and to have it affected as well…
Mental illness just robs you of everything and the meds that help with some aspects…Rob you of something else.
It’s not a fair trade off for me.
It shouldn’t be for anyone.

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