Aggressive Mediocrity

This post is about nothing except that title. That term.
I fucking love it.
It describes me to a tee.

I am a Jill of many trades, master of none.
I am both competent and inept.
I am insecure and I am intrepid.
I am bipolar.
I am aggressively mediocre.

And mediocre is okay. I strive to be better but even if this is all there is left for me…so fucking what.

On a side note, I identified another problem with my personality today. Though I think it’s more of a past traumatic stress thing (no it doesn’t always have to involve war or sexual assaults, lots of thing can traumatize.)
But I realized…I am clueless as to tone of what is being said to me. It doesn’t matter what the words are.
“Poor you.”
“You poor thing.”
“I am so sorry.”
“That must have sucked for you.”

EVERYTHING is perceived as some sarcastic venomous insult. And I am right a lot of the time about it being meant exactly that way.
It’s just gotten to the point where it’s an instant assumption for every word by every person who speaks to me.
Like I am so wretched I deserve nothing more.
That’s not wallowing.
That’s just realizing how screwed up in the head I have become over the years.
Maybe my inability to perceive things as anything other than smarm and falsehoods is what alienates others.
Or maybe it’s just because I’m really not all that into the social thing so I don’t use filters and come off as an enormous wanker.
(I gotta stop watching shows with British characters, the vernacular is seeping in.)

But yeah…
Aggressively mediocre.

Beats the hell out of passive mediocrity.

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2 Responses to “Aggressive Mediocrity”

  1. Victoria A Says:

    I love it!!!!!! let me know if you ever wanna go aussie and throw some shrimp on the Barbie, mate!

    • Sounds awesome, as long as I get to pet a koala bear. I hear they’re a lot like me. Cute, until they shred you to pieces. Kindred spirits. 😉

      On Mon, Mar 23, 2015 at 7:38 AM, Take a Ride on My Mood Swing wrote:

      >

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