Make the fates laugh by making plans

Given I did not have anything Earth pressing planned for today when my kid would be having a sleepover at grandma’s.
I also did not plan on being a coughing,sneezing dripping bruised rib trainwreck.

It’s like, any chance I get time to myself to catch up on whatever…something comes up and I am left only to wallow in discomfort and misery.

Oh, you ask how did I bruise a rib?
I tripped over a rug, landed against a doorframe with all my weight. I thought my boob took the brunt of it. Apparently my upper rib took it instead. Now I breathe, cough, sneeze, stretch…It all hurts in a blinding way.
I am the luckiest person alive. (If you missed the sarcasm there, you are braindead.)

I finally get a day where my mind is fairly quiet…But only because my body is trumping the mental demons with physical pain.
I actually dropped my daughter off and came home and napped. It took four pillows and painful shifting to find a not painful position for the rib but…I napped. I don’t nap.
I survive the worst shark week in months.
Now all this.
And I can’t be certain but I think it’s because I dared to think, “Oh, I can use this night to get caught up on housework and organization and work in some writing…”
Fate is laughing its ass off at me.
I am unamused.

So due to extreme discomfort I have vegetated for the last seven hours, asleep, semi asleep, or just sitting stone still while watching “The Good Wife.”
A show that is what, six seasons in, and I just started season one yesterday because I have exhausted all other shows…
Thing is, this is a well written, well acted show. It irks me. I wanted to hate it.
Kinda like I wanted to hate 30 Seconds To Mars.
Nothing like going against your own grain to heighten your own self loathing repeatedly.

Point is…I wanted a break.
What I do is more discomfort and again, no productivity because I can’t even reach for my cigarette without crying out in pain.
And it’s my own fault for being so clumsy.
If I had a Native American name, it would literally be “walksintowalls”.
If you’re one of the lucky people who are graceful and not accident prone…
You can thank klutzes like me who took on our own lack of grace as well as yours.

And in the future…I am gonna stop making plans even in my own mind. Because the fates have wiretaps in there and will destroy a plan just to clean out the closet.
Anything to keep you from feeling you’ve accomplished something you can take pride in.

I am now gonna go sneeze myself into harsh cries of rib pain and lucky wench that I am, I know I can scream bloody murder and my neighbors won’t call the police.
Usually cos the police are already at their house.


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