A Quieter Mind

Rough night. When the kid wasn’t waking up, I was poking her with a stick. Not literally, just checking her forehead for signs of high fever. Not good rest.
This morning…Anti motivated aside from calling her into school.
Took an hour or so to motivate myself. She said she was feeling better but she was coughing and felt warm to the touch.
So we bundle up, drive seven miles to the dr office…
And she just has bad allergies.
No ebola, no plague. ALLERGIES. The school has sent her home seven times for having allergies then has the nerve to threaten me with some truancy charge.

But with that all off my plate, the child medicated and on the mend…I don’t feel so awful. My mind is busy, but controllable. I was so worried. At the same time, thinking, puh-leeze, kids get sick, not every sniffle is fatal.
This school system has turned me into an alarmist.
I went on record with the dr office that the school’s the one sending her home and having their 24 hour return policies. I don’t want to be labeled at Munchausen by proxy or some shit. I want my kid at school. I’ve lost positive barter points (and a date, of sorts) by her not being in school.
I don’t want attention and I’m uneasy with my “sickly” child shining a spotlight our direction.

All in all..
I’m ok. For now. Every evening, when it gets dark and I get cold, my mood sinks into the abyss and all I feel able to do is curl up under warm covers, toss, turn, mull, and stress out. I don’t know how to stop it. I get the feeling if it doesn’t change soon, I will be calling the shrink and taking him up on that script for “as needed for anxiety.”

Now…For those who think I am incapable of doing anything but going OCD over my mental issues…
Check this out.

Just funny cos it’s true.

I found this one last month and it really is worth reading.



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