Cyclothymic Eclipse

With cyclothymic bipolar, the only consistent is inconsistency. It truly takes a momentous event, like an eclipse, for a cyclothymic to experience a “good day”. The stars, sun, and mood must all align perfectly.

Today was that day for me. I’m not saying I am mirthfullly bouncing off walls or I won the lottery…But the mood help most of the day and even as evening beckons…My mood has not crashed. Impressive, amazing, mind boggling…More than welcome.
I want some more of this.

I saw the shrink. He was pleasant and willing to work with me by raising the anti depressant. He’s still stuck on the anxiety being the cause of the inability to focus but he says in a month or so if it’s still so bad, he will consider giving me another anti anxiety agent to take *as needed*.
I can live with that.
They didn’t weigh me for once, that was wonderful.

Now being at the shop three hours banging my head against a wall over a laptop with a lost password…Not so wonderful. I brought it home with me and spent two more hours messing with it…And I nearly did the cha cha and the tango because dammit, I kicked its ass. I feel like I actually accomplished something.

I also did something this week to tempt the fates of catastrophe. I let the dishes pile up for THREE days. Ya know what? The world did not end, babies were not incinerated in a flaming ball of fire from the sun. The vacuum nazis (clean freaks) of the world should be aware of this. Nothing bad happened. I did them all up today and got a further sense of accomplishment.

My kid has been fairly tolerable the last two days.

So what if, it’s been so cold out even the eskimos on vacation here ran back to Alaska…

Today was my cyclothymic eclipse. May not happen for another hundred years. Sucks, because when you get a taste of “not feeling shitty”, you’d like some more.
Unfortunately, it does not work that way.
Today was a win.
I’ll take it.


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