Paralyzed

Judging by last night’s explosion of random of anger and today’s hellish cramps, I’m gonna venture onto a limb and say shark week is coming and this is pms. I am overjoyed as usual. Love having even one more aspect of my sanity yanked out of my reach.

I made it through today’s outing into the dish and to the shop. All the while feeling grumpy and surly and well, not really giving a fuck. My mind wanders. I yawn. I double over in pain. My skin is crawling with anxiety so I break out in hives and itch.
I see all that needs done around the house and yard and say to myself, I need to get on that, it might make me feel better or distract me.
Still, I sit here.
Nervous. Twitchy. Feeling the stress of everything snowballing and threatening to consume me. The rabbit hole is no longer singular, it is plural and they are everywhere and I am trying to step around them like avoiding stepping on land mines.
I feel, in all honesty, a little bit crazy. Like I am no longer in total control, something inside me has come slightly unhinged and it’s this precarious balancing act trying to keep it all together.
I know I should get off my ass and do what needs to be done.
Still, I sit here.
Snap out of it. Get over yourself. Don’t let it get you down.
Still, I sit here.
Paralyzed.
What I said about feeling a little bit crazy…
Make that a lot crazy. The paranoia has crept up and is planting illogical thoughts in my head.
Paralyzed.

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One Response to “Paralyzed”

  1. Lets be paralyzed lumps together …

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