Single Mom, Mental Illness, Enter Panic

So… my worst fear came to life today, as I had been terrified of. Yet everyone said I was paranoid.
The school LOST my kid.
Or as they say, she was never lost, she was with them the whole time. Yeah, well, I didn’t know where she was so pardon me if that’s not a comfort.
All the neighborhood kids filed off bus…Except for mine. I began to freak out and it didn’t get better when it took the bus driver ten minutes to radio the right people and locate my kid. I was furious. I went to the school to her and practically had a brain bleed from anger when I demanded how could they lose my kid!!!! I’ve never been so terrified in my whole life, not knowing where she was.
Assholes never did give a good explanation, just lip service and placating speeches. “Miscommunication.” “Working out the bus system kinks because it’s the first day.” (The bus aide) says, “I wasn’t even sure where she went, bus wise but she was with one of us the whole time.”
One fucking word. INCOMPETENT.
I’ll be taking her and getting her from now on. I will sell Becca’s blood if I have to since she likes to tout how rare it is. (Brown crayon!)

So that was my day. I had some good moments, a mood crash, a revival, another crash. But mostly, I was stunned how a school could misplace a child. MY child. I feared it would happen with all the bus transfers and her being barely five. I KNEW it but everyone laughed at me.
There was nothing humorous about today. My dad said, “Oh, it happens, so what?”

So what? This wasn’t a misplaced phone, ffs. This was my kid!!!

I can’t remember the last time I had a panic attack of such proportions. I hope I never have to feel that shit again. My kid makes me irritated but she is my heart and I am devoted to the nth.

A school system that’s more scatterbrained than me does not give me hope for the future.
Proves that if you want something done right…You gotta do it yourself.
Kindergarten sucks and it’s only day one.

Ass trash.

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